


Thorns and Roses

by brightlikeloulou



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Explicit Sexual Content, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, M/M, Past Child Abuse, Post-All Out War Arc (Walking Dead), Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-29
Updated: 2021-01-29
Packaged: 2021-03-14 08:00:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 22
Words: 63,958
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29042772
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brightlikeloulou/pseuds/brightlikeloulou
Summary: The war is over.Now it's time to rebuild what they lost, to repair the communities and themselves.Paul doesn't know how deeply, but he knows Daryl is affected by the sparing of Negan's life.What he also knows, is that Daryl shouldn't have to reside in the same place as the man who almost destroyed him.Paul offers him a place at The Hilltop and now they need to learn to co-exist together, they begin to care for each other along the way.
Relationships: Aaron/Eric Raleigh, Daryl Dixon/Jesus, Daryl Dixon/Rick Grimes, Eduardo/Jesus (Walking Dead: Hilltop), Past Alex/Jesus (Walking Dead: Hilltop)
Comments: 60
Kudos: 32





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> reupload of my deleted fic

Negan had been tied, cuffed, and locked into a car with Siddiq tending to the wound on his neck, soon they’d head for The Kingdom. Rick knows better than to take him to the Hilltop right now; Maggie had finally stopped screaming and crying, Paul and Aaron managing to calm her down after Michonne couldn’t. She’d been moved into the RV that would be taking them back to The Hilltop, Aaron’s still in there with her now. They’d been discussing the plans for the future when Paul left them to round up everyone else who was coming back in the RV. Paul wanted to be back before dark.

Paul had found Eric quickly and told him to make his way over once he’d finished saying his goodbyes to those heading to the Kingdom. He’d spoken to Rick briefly and was told Carl would be coming back with them to watch over Judith until they could both travel to the Kingdom.

He has one final person to see: Daryl.

He finds the hunter by one of the transport cars and Paul approaches slowly, eyes flickering over the angel wings on his vest, and then to his hands, which are tying a rope around Dwight’s wrists in messy, angry movements.

Rosita’s beside him stacking guns into the trunk of the car with a cold look over her face. She was one of the many people displeased with the decision to keep Negan alive.

“You don’t need to kill me,” Paul hears Dwight say quietly, a grimace on his scared face as Daryl pulls his arms tighter behind his back, undoubtedly painful, “I’ll go back to the sanctuary. You’ll never see me again.”

Daryl says nothing, so Paul breaks the silence, “Hey,” he greets, and Rosita nods at him in acknowledgment before resuming her task, “Daryl, can I talk to you for a moment?” he asks.

Daryl looks back at him, a hard look on his face, the same one that’s been there almost constantly since they had met. He glances at Rosita and she nods, “I got him,” she assures him and promptly releases the safety from the gun in her hand.

They walk across the grass, Daryl’s heavy steps behind him a stark contrast to Paul’s silent ones. Paul stops, looking out at the view of the woods in front of him, turning when the older man clears his throat. Paul finds him with his arms folded over his chest and his expression expectant.

“Where are you planning on going now?” Paul asks.

Daryl blinks at him as he shifts uncomfortably, like that wasn’t the question he expected to be asked, “Ain’t decided yet,” he finally replies, glancing back at Dwight.

Paul nods his understanding, “There’s a place for you at Hilltop, you know that right?” He says to the older man, and they’re both quiet for several moments before Paul continues, “You don’t have to go to Kingdom or the Sanctuary,” he smiles at him softly, and then begins to walk again, knowing Daryl would want to come to the decision alone, “We’re leaving in ten minutes. Third RV from the left. You can bring Dwight.”

With that, he leaves.

* * *

Over ten minutes later, Paul’s settling into the lump RV couch beside Maggie, looking at her exhausted form sadly for a few moments before looking to the door of the RV, waiting to see if Daryl will take him up on his offer.

Aaron sits behind the wheel, Eric in the passenger seat beside him, his eyes closed as he begins to fall asleep to the sensation of Aaron’s hand rubbing his thigh. Paul feels a pang of something in his chest at the sight.

The RV is silent except for Carl’s snoring from the small bedroom, the boy had passed out almost as soon as Paul had directed him to lay down. Paul knows that something is up with the kid, and he wonders if he had properly talked to someone since he had gotten back from the Sanctuary. Paul doesn’t know what happened to him while he was in there, but something had happened that had had a significant effect on him. Paul hopes he’ll at least talk to Enid when they get back, and if not here, someone else.

They should have left a few minutes ago by now, but Aaron hasn’t put the RV in drive, and they all know why; he’s giving Daryl the chance to show up.

“He’s coming. Got Dwight with him,” Aaron says moments later, the tiniest hint of a smile on his lips.

The RV door opens and Dwight is shoved through it, tripping once on the steps but Daryl catches him by his shirt before he face-plants; his fun pressed into his back.

“Sit,” Daryl growls at him, shoving him down onto the couch beside Paul and Maggie, then proceeding to sit beside Paul so he can face Dwight; so he can put a bullet through him in a second if he tries anything.

Daryl meets Paul’s eyes a few seconds after he sits down, Paul gives him a small nod and squeezes his wrist before they both turn to look back at Dwight.

“Everyone ready to go?” Aaron asks once Daryl and Dwight are settled, looking at them through the rear-view-mirror and once he sees Daryl nod, he pulls the car out and begins to drive along the hill that leads to the road that they’ll take back to the Hilltop.

Paul looks over at Maggie again and his heart aches at the sight of her; her eyes are still red and puffy, and one hand rests on her belly.

Paul doesn’t agree with Rick’s decision to keep Negan alive, because though he doesn’t like killing people if there’s another alternative, Negan, after what he had done, after he had hurt so many people, he didn’t deserve to live. After all the pain and suffering, he should be dead. No bullshit about deserving to rot in a cage, Paul knew everyone would rest easier and gain some closure if he was dead.

Paul reaches out after a few minutes, just as they reach the main road, and places his gloved hand on Maggie’s knee; she looks up at him expectantly, the circles under her eyes dark and prominent.

He smiles gently at her, “You should try and get some sleep,” he says, and she opens her mouth to argue, “Just try.”

“There’ll be a lot of work to do at Hilltop,” she says, almost looking straight through him.

Paul nods his agreement, “I know, but you don’t need to worry about that right now,” he assures her and takes his hand off her knee.

Maggie sighs and looks at him for a few moments, and then at Daryl, then Dwight, then back at Paul again before she nods. She settles back against the cushions of the couch, tucking her feet underneath her and sits her elbow on the armrest, resting her jaw on the palm of her hand.

Paul feels relieved at his own success and looks over at Daryl, finding the hunter already looking at him, “You could too,” Paul says, knowing he’ll refuse, but he couldn’t stop himself from offering.

Like he suspected, Daryl shakes his head and looks away, settling on Dwight who’s been staring at his own lap the whole time. Paul can see the wet droplets on his cargo pants. Paul wonders, as he stares at the dirty-blond-haired man, Paul doesn’t know how he feels, and wonders if Daryl would let him live or not. However, he does know that it’s not his decision to make.

* * *

The RV pulls into the Hilltop a little over an hour later.

Daryl immediately orders Dwight to his feet and the two exit the RV and Paul leaves Aaron and Eric to wake up Maggie as he makes his way to the bedroom door, gently opening and the corner of his mouth twitches in a small smile at the sight he’s greeted with.

Carl is laying on his side, buried under the blanket and his face squished against his arm. Paul thinks it’s the most relaxed he has ever seen the teenager.

Paul knocks his knuckles against the wall and Carl startles awake, quickly calming once he realises who it is.

“We’re at Hilltop,” Paul tells him as he begins to get up from the bed, “Enid should be in the house with Gracie. Rick was going to radio in that you were coming.”

“Thanks,” Carl replies and stretches before grabbing his hat, and the two of them leave the RV.

Aaron and Eric are already making their way up to Barrington House, their hands clasped together between them, undoubtedly going to see Gracie and Paul wonders if the two had made a decision yet. He had overheard the pair the previous night, discussing whether or not they were up to adopting Gracie.

Carl jogs ahead to follow them, and Paul scans the area for the others, spotting them after a few moments. Maggie is unlocking the makeshift cell, the cage, and Daryl shoves Dwight inside before Maggie locks it again. Maggie pets Daryl’s shoulder and then moves toward the house, hiding a yawn in her hand and Paul hopes she’ll see Enid and then go to sleep, but he doubts it.

Paul decides he’s better off leaving everyone alone for a while, to their own devices, with one last glance at Daryl, who’s speaking to Dwight through the wires of the fence, he spins on his heels and heads toward his trailer. He can feel a headache coming on and given that light is one of his worst triggers, he pulls the curtains closed.

He pulls off his boots and coat, hanging the coat on the rack by the door and placing the boots neatly beside it. Then, he begins the task of removing all of his knives, his gun and belt, placing them on the dining table as he goes. Once that and the rest of his clothes are off, he grabs fresh clothes and steps into the small bathroom. He immediately turns on the shower because the water takes a few minutes to heat up, and a cold shower doesn’t appeal to him after a day like today.

He takes his time in the shower, allowing the hot water to relieve the tension in his sore muscles, and he washes the grime, sweat and blood out of his long hair. Once he’s out, he redresses into a clean pair of cargos and a white button up, very much wishing he could be putting on sweats and curling into bed instead, but he knows he still has things he needs to do. He’ll make himself go to sleep tonight though, his headache is slowly growing more painful as time passed, and the last thing he needed was for it to turn into a migraine because he tried to ignore it.

He puts most of his knives away once he’s out of bathroom, keeping one on his belt and one in his boot ‘just in case’. He does a quick tidy of his trailer after that, it had grown a bit of a mess in the chaos of the past week, but he liked to keep a clean living space.

After putting away some clothes, washing some dishes and organising some knick knacks he exits the trailer. 

* * *

He knocks against the heavy wooden door, pushing it open when Maggie calls him inside, and he sighs, knowing that means she hasn’t gone to sleep.

He steps inside, finding her sitting on the armchair opposite the bed, reading the large book left to them by the mysterious Georgie, Hilda and Midge. He’s pleased to see that she’s at least changed into her sleep clothes.

“Hi,” He greets her and takes a seat on the edge of her bed, the bed she shares with Enid, but Paul guesses that the teenager is off with Carl somewhere, “How are you feeling?”

Maggie smiles lazily and insincere, “Alright, just… you know,” She replies, sighing heavily and closing the book.

Paul nods in understanding. It’s an awful situation, Rick taking away the choice that wasn’t just his. It should have been a decision made by all of the communities, because Rick was a smart man, he wanted Negan alive and he knew what the overwhelming decision would be he’d allowed it to go to a vote, “You should sleep. Got a bub to think about now, stress won’t be good for them. That’s what Carson told you,” Paul tells her, and he knows it’s a bit of a low blow to mention the baby, he needs to get her to sleep.

Maggie sighs again and meets his gaze, “You’re right, this can wait until tomorrow,” she agrees after a few moments and stands up, placing the book down on the table by her and then making her way over to the bed, “Alright, get out,” she tells him with a trace of humour in her voice, patting his shoulder as she passes him and then crawling under the covers.

He chuckles softly and stands up from the bed, smiling at the woman who means more to him than anyone else (and if that doesn’t terrify him) and then makes his way back to the door, “Goodnight, Maggie,” He says and slips through the door.

“You get some sleep too!” She calls after him as he closes the door behind him.

And he will, he just has to find Daryl first.

He finds Daryl sitting on one of the picnic tables by the trailers, not having been there when Paul left his, stabbing at the wood with his knife as he rotates between watching Dwight who’s laying down in the cage and glancing around at the rest of The Hilltop.

“Hey,” Paul greets him, trying to ignore the heaviness of his eyes and the thudding pain in his head.

Daryl looks up at him and nods to acknowledge him.

Paul’s quiet for a moment, biting his lip as he looks at the older hunter, “So,” He eventually starts, “The couch in my trailer is free,” Paul tells him, offering a small smile when he meets his eyes again.

Daryl simply looks at him for a few moments, worrying at his lip before clearing his throat, “You sure?” He asks.

Paul nods, “Of course, I had Maggie, Enid and Sasha living with me for over a week,” he says, stomach clenching a little at mention of his dead friend and he sees Daryl’s face fall, “I think I could handle just you, already have before,” he replies, remembering the time Daryl had spent with him when he’d brought him back from the Sanctuary.

Daryl looks back down at his knife and nods, “Thanks,” he says quietly, “Be ‘round in a bit.”

Paul smiles, “Okay. I’m going to sleep, got a headache that I don’t need any worse. I’ll lay out some fresh clothes for you and you’re welcome to use the shower,” he tells the other man, and once he’s nodded in understanding, Paul leaves him and heads back to his trailer.

After laying out some clothes for Daryl and a clean towel, he strips himself down, folding his clothes and placing them on his desk before pulling on a pair of sweats and a t-shirt. He’d usually sleep in boxers at the very most when in the privacy of his trailer, but now, he had a roommate and it wouldn’t be private anymore. He pulls down the curtain above the couch across then climbs into his bed. He closes his eyes and allows himself to drift off to sleep, hoping there’ll be no pounding in his head when he wakes up.


	2. Chapter 2

Morning seems to come all too soon. Paul wakes around seven am, the trailer still dark and silent.

He blinks away the blurriness in his eyes and sits up in his bed, looking around the trailer. It’s empty, but the clothes Paul had left on the dining table were gone and the ugly green couch’s chequered blanket is rumpled up against the pillow, so he knows Daryl had come in and slept here at some point, Paul had just been too deep in sleep to notice.

The couch, now Daryl’s bed, sits under the trailer’s only window, and Paul climbs out of bed, leaning over it to pull the curtains back, wincing at the sudden light that fills the trailer, but at least his solid ten hours of sleep had been successful in ridding of his headache.

He dresses and tugs a brush through his hair, yawning while he does. He notices the air on his skin is chilly. It’s mid-September, and it’s already getting cool, so he knows it’s going to be an unpleasant winter. He just hopes they can get the crops prepared in time.

The sound of birds chirping in the nearby woods, and the chatter of the residents who are already awake greet him as he exits the trailer. He can hear that Earle is already banging away at something in the blacksmith’s shed, he guesses it didn’t take Maggie long to fill him in on the tools and weapons that needed to be created to sustain the colony.

He can hear a little girl giggling somewhere around the gardens, but he can’t see her, he still knows it’s Judith though, Carl or Enid, or both of them must have her out to play. The only other child currently at The Hilltop is Gracie, but Paul can see her, she’s sitting on Aaron’s lap and winding her fingers into his growing beard, Eric smiling at the both of them with his head on his partner’s shoulder. Paul guesses they’ve come to their decision and silently he wishes them luck.

He then spots Daryl leading Dwight towards Barrington House, no longer a gun at his back, the blonde willingly walking, his head down and his steps heavy. There’s a bag slung over Daryl’s shoulder. The only reason Paul can think of for the hunter to take Dwight to Barrington House would be to let him go to the bathroom, but that would mean Daryl was letting him live, and from Daryl’s behaviour yesterday, Paul wasn’t so sure.

Paul had witnessed what Daryl was like when he’d rescued him from the sanctuary, more than anybody else had. He was so near broken, and scared, in so much pain and Paul knows he still is. Paul also knows that Dwight was the main inflictor behind a decent amount of his torture, even it was Negan who made the orders, it was Dwight who carried them out.

Daryl will come to a decision soon enough, and once he has, Paul hopes that either way, it will help him heal.

Paul decides to head over to the watch tower, to take over for Kal who had been there when Paul went to bed the previous night.

Kal looks at him gratefully, he looks exhausted, and his limbs are heavy as he climbs down the ladder and makes his way to the trailer he shares with Eduardo.

Paul gets himself settled, the gun he hates so much in his lap, eyebrows furrowed together as he stares out at the woods in front of him. He scans the tree line for anyone that’s not supposed to be there; there was enough time yesterday for the quicker Saviors to escape into the woods, or even those who were never there to begin with but sought revenge all the same. Though they’d be severely outnumbered now, if they were smart about it, they could manage to take out a few people before they were stopped.

With Eugene’s sabotage of the guns, the final battle of the war seemed almost too easy to win and that something is still going to go wrong. That people are still going to die.

A few minutes later, Paul watches as Daryl orders Dwight into the passenger seat of a red pickup truck, one of the Kingdom’s. Daryl drives it up to the gates and Paul stands to open the gates. Daryl doesn’t drive through straight away, he looks up at Paul through the rolled down window, which actually, had probably been smashed during the battle.

“Be back by dark,” Daryl tells him, voice raspy, looking back into the Hilltop, specifically at Judith who was in Enid’s arms and giggling as she petted the dairy cow, the animal licking at her hand.

“See you then,” Paul responds, lifting his hand in a small wave.

Daryl nods at him once in goodbye before putting his foot down on the accelerator, and the truck rolls through the gates, down the dirt road that leads them onto the main one. Paul watches until it’s disappeared from his site, then he goes back to watching the tree line.

* * *

“Caught some rabbit on my way back, can cook it up for dinner?” Daryl offers as he steps into the trailer, stopping to kick off his boots just inside the door. Paul follows in behind him, taking off his coat and hanging it up.

Paul nods, “Yeah, thanks. I’m starving,” he replies, leaning down and pulling off his own boots. It doesn’t take much, they’re worn and far too supple, he’s in desperate need of new ones.

The Hilltop rarely has meat, their livestock reserved for more long-term benefits such as milk, eggs, cheese. The only meat came from the few rabbits Paul would catch in his traps, and even then, it’s not even close to being enough for everybody to get a share. It’s usually made into stock to add some flavour to their usual flavourless foods. The idea of being able to eat some meat, almost has his mouth watering.

Daryl nods and steps over to the trailer’s tiny kitchen, pulling out two already skinned rabbits from the fridge, and Paul winces because it doesn’t look like Daryl had them sitting on anything but the shelf, but the man had just offered to cook him dinner, so he leaves it alone.

“Do you need help?” Paul asks, and Daryl shakes his head in reply as he turns on the stove, “Okay, I’m going to go and have a shower then,” Paul tells him and grabs his sweats from where he keeps them under his pillow.

Paul hops into the shower and sighs at the welcome sensation of the water on his skin. His conversation with Maggie and Daryl playing heavily in his mind, and he knew it was coming. He knew there was absolutely no way Maggie was going to sit around and allow Negan to live after what he’d done to her husband, and it’s not at all surprising that Daryl had immediately agreed to help her. Paul knows that he will too, Michonne and Rick’s wishes be damned.

Paul’s hair is up in a knot as he’d washed it the previous night, so he didn’t want to get it wet, but he does re-wash his beard as he’d realised there was still some blood caked along his jaw when he was getting unwashed. He towel dries his beard once he’s out of the shower, and quickly uses the toilet before getting dressed and entering the main part of the trailer again, steam pouring out from the bathroom.

Daryl looks over at him when he exits, eyes flickering up to where Paul’s hair is tied in a bun for a few moments before going back to the pan that he’s currently turning over pieces of meat in.

Paul steps over to his dresser and opens the bottom drawer that he uses for storage, pulling out a pillow, duvet and several blankets, “I’m sorry, I forgot to leave these out for you last night,” Paul says to the other man as he steps over to the couch lays them out on it, hoping that Daryl hadn’t been cold the previous night.

Daryl grunts as he pulls some plates out of the cupboard, “It’s alright, ain’t really cold yet,” he replies, “That’ll change soon, cold season’s comin’,” he adds a moment later, glancing over at Paul. 

Paul nods his agreement, “Yeah, it’s September, start of fall. Start getting cold of a night until it’s just cold all the time,” Paul says as he sits down on the end of his bed, “You’re in for hell when it’s winter, gets a lot colder here than in Georgia.”

Daryl looks over at him with a slightly quirked brow, “Someone tell you that’s where we came from?” He asks curiously and tosses the meat again.

Paul chuckles lightly and shakes his head, “No, but it’s not hard to guess with the thickness of yours accent, Rick and Maggie’s too,” he replies, smirking slightly.

Daryl huffs and Paul thinks that maybe, he saw his lip twitch.

“Anyway, I’ll need to organise some runs, there’s supplies we need to make it through, pregnancy and baby stuff for Maggie and Gracie too,”

Daryl nods, “I can come with you.”

“You don’t have to,” Paul assures him as he cracks his knuckles, “I usually do runs and alone. I work better.”

“You ever been on a run with someone experienced?” Daryl asks, brow quirked.

Paul realises that the man has a point, the closest he’s come to an experienced run partner being Eduardo and even he was pretty shit at it, “Guess not,” Paul responds.

“Exactly,” Daryl replies, “You don’t know if you’d work better without me. It’s worth a try, it’ll save fuel and be safer come overnight trips.”

Paul nods in agreement, knowing that the older man is right, “Touché. It would be more practical if we could make it work,” he says, standing up and making his way to the kitchen to get glasses for him and Daryl.

Daryl hums and turns off the stove, using a pair of tongs to distribute the meat onto two plates evenly, carrying them both over to the round table where Paul is now sitting, filling both glasses with water from a blue jug.

“Enough?” Daryl asks as he places Paul’s plate in front of him, sitting down himself. 

Paul quickly nods, it’s a lot more than he usually allows himself to eat, “Yes, thank you,” he answers, grabbing a fork from the pot in the middle of the table and stabbing the silver into the meat, quickly placing it into his mouth. He almost groans out loud at how good it tastes.

Daryl begins to eat as well, even messier than Paul, not even grabbing a fork, instead using his hands to pick and pull at his meal.

They eat in silence for a few minutes until it’s Paul who speaks up again, “So,” he starts cautiously, unsure if this conversation is even any of his business, but his curiosity is eating away at him, “Did you kill Dwight?” he asks.

Daryl looks up at him from his plate and sucks the inside of his cheek for a few moments before he reaches for his glass of water and speaks up, “Nah, let ‘im go,” he replies, “Drove him to the woods, left him the car and some supplies, food, water, weapons,” Daryl stops for a second to take several gulps of his water, and Paul doesn’t say anything, waiting to see if the man will offer him any more information, “Then I left, hunted for a while and then came back here.”

Paul nods in understanding. “It was good of you to let him go, he turned good in the end, but he still didn’t deserve to be a part of our new world. But he didn’t necessarily deserve to die either.” Paul replies cautiously, speaking his mind, unsure as to what Daryl’s opinion on it is going to be.

He’s taken a little by surprise when Daryl nods in agreement and continues eating. “Told him though, if I ever see him again then I’ll kill him.”

“That’s fair.” Paul replies around a mouthful of his food.

They’re silent once again for a few minutes and this time, it’s Daryl who breaks the silence. “You okay with what Maggie’s asking us to do? With what you did for those other Saviors, I didn’t think you’d be on board with it.”

Paul looks up at the man again. “I get why you think that, most people seem to think I’m against killing people. I’m not.” Paul begins to explain, placing his fork down. “I believe that people shouldn’t be killed if there’s another way, if they’re good people, if they can change. That’s why I wanted to give those Saviors a chance, because who knows how many of them were forced into their positions?” He says, catching the way Daryl’s face twists slightly, because they had tried to do that to him, tried to torture him into becoming somebody he wasn’t. “I was right, they’re good people. They helped Hilltop when Saviors attacked it, both times. Alden’s staying here instead of going back to The Sanctuary, says he wants to help build things, to help our people.”

“But Negan?” Daryl asks, expression making him appear as if he’s hanging onto every word Paul speaks.

Paul sighs. “Negan, is one of the pure definitions of twisted evil. He will not change and even if he could, he is an exception. He has caused more pain and suffering than anyone I have ever known, too many people are dead because of him. He does not deserve to live when they can’t.” Paul explains, he can feel the anger in his bubbling in his stomach. “I understand Michonne and Rick wanting the killing to stop and it should but Negan should be excluded from that. I understand that they want to build a new world with order, law and new ways of peaceful living, but Negan doesn’t deserve to see it.”

When Paul finishes, Daryl doesn’t say anything for a while, he instead just looks at him and Paul can’t read the expression on his face. Daryl sighs after a bit and places the last few pieces of meat into his mouth before standing up from his chair. “That’s what I think.” He says quietly as he makes his way back to the kitchen, placing his plate in the sink and turning on the tap.

Paul watches the older man for a few moments as he finishes the last of his rabbit. He’s standing by the sink, leaning against it was he waits for the painfully slow dripple of water to fill the sink enough to be able to wash the dishes, head down with his brunette bangs falling in front of his eyes.

When Paul finishes, he joins Daryl by the sink and nudges him with his elbow. “Go shower,” He tells him when the man meets his eyes. “I got this.” He gives him a small smile before reaching into the cabinet beneath the sink and grabs the scrubbing cloth.

Daryl nods after a few seconds and after grabbing the clothes Paul had lent him from their spot on the small table by the couch, he heads into the bathroom and after a few minutes, Paul can hear the shower running.


	3. Chapter 3

Three days after the war ended, things seemed to start getting back to the way they were.

People resumed their jobs within the community, taking on new ones as well, Eduardo had left the day previous to go and spend some time at The Sanctuary with Rosita and Tara. 

Judith and Carl are still at the community as well, neither Rick, Michonne or anyone from The Kingdom coming to retrieve them yet. Rick and Michonne probably too nervous or guilty, or both, to see Maggie and even Daryl yet. Paul hopes they understand that Maggie wasn’t the only one who was betrayed three days ago in that field.

Carl doesn’t seem to mind, happy with all the time he gets to spend with Enid, but Judith has begun asking after her mother and father. Last night, she had been in tears for over an hour, finally calming down and falling asleep against Daryl’s chest for a while until the man gently handed her sleeping body off to Carl who took her back to their room.

Paul had watched the scene in the main entrance of Barrington unfold from the stairs, sharpening his knives as the young girl was consoled, he doesn’t really know how to comfort younger children, from eight and up he’s pretty good with them, but younger than that he’s out of his element. Seeing Daryl with the girl, how good he was with her, how she was calm within minutes of him holding her, it stirred something in Paul, made him wonder if the older man had had children before all this.

He reminds himself to ask at some point, not for a while, he doesn’t think they’re at that level of comfortability yet.

Now, Paul’s working on a list of things needed for the community for him to pick up on his runs, he’s sitting at the small round table of his trailer, _and Daryl’s_ he reminds himself, still not used to the fact that he has a permanent roommate now.

He’s tapping the end of the pencil against his temple when the trailer door opens and Daryl steps inside. “Hey.” He grunts in reply as he pulls his boots off, sitting them by Paul’s own.

“Hi.” Paul answers, looking back down at his list and crossing a leg under himself.

“What’re you doin’?” Daryl asks as he pulls a green plastic bottle of water from the small fridge and unscrewing the cap, Paul doesn’t bother to mention that it’s his.

“Making a list of all the supplies the community needs. I want to leave for a run at the end of the week, not sure how many days we’ll be gone yet.” Paul answers, remembering the conversation they’d had about him and Daryl having a few trial runs to see if they could work together.

Daryl nods and then takes a seat beside Paul, motioning to the paper and Paul smiles softly and hands it to him. “Where you got in mind?” He asks as he reads over the list, appearing to squint slightly at a few of the items.

Paul reaches out behind him and grasps the map he had left on his bed, he unfolds it and sets it down flat on the table between him and Daryl. He shifts so they can both see it properly and he can feel the heat radiating from Daryl’s shoulder onto his own.

Paul grabs for his pencil again and uses it to circle an area on the map, looking over at Daryl he can see the man observing all the other marks and notes Paul has written on the map, frowning a little at the messiness of it and Paul immediately knows what he’s thinking, it looks impractical.

“Don’t worry, we have an endless supply of maps, this is just my personal copy.” Paul assures him and then points to the map again, this time, red letters that read ‘Hilltop’. “So, we’re here.” He says and then trails the end of his pencil along the map to the spot he had circled before. “And this, is where I want to go.” He tells him as he points to the small town.

“What makes you think anything’ll be there?” Daryl asks, looking over at him curiously.

Paul grins. “I went passed it once on my way back from a long run and it looked untouched, I hid my things to go and scout it to see if it would be worth it, I planned on going back to Hilltop and rest for a few days before going back to raid it.” He tells the other man, grin splitting wider over his face as he looks at the other, confused man. “But then, when I went to where I had hidden my truck, I found it gone. I followed the tracks and soon enough, I came across two assholes at a gas station who had stolen it.”

Daryl’s face contorts slightly in shock and he shakes his head as he looks down at his lap. “That’s why you weren’t letting it go, was yours in the first place.” He grunts, seeming amused at the situation. 

Paul laughs softly and nods. “Yep, took me almost a month to get all that shit as well.” He says, playfully glaring and shoving Daryl’s shoulder.

Daryl snorts. “You were still a little shit.” He grunts, shoving Paul back and then proceeding to stand up from the table and reach for his pajamas on the couch.

Paul laughs and folds his map and list up. “Guess it worked out for the best though, might not have met otherwise.” He says casually, stretching his arms above his head.

Daryl doesn’t reply, but Paul catches the man looking at him with an expression he can’t read from where he stands, almost frozen by the couch.


	4. Chapter 4

When Paul wakes up, the trailer is empty like it usually is. He doesn’t know what time Daryl wakes of a morning, but he guesses it’s somewhere around the crack of dawn as Paul himself wakes up between six and seven and Daryl has already left for the day.

Daryl goes hunting every morning, checking the traps he set the previous day and then bringing back whatever meat he finds. He’s contributed quite a lot to the food storage just in the couple of days he’s been here, skinning the meat himself and leaving it in the freezer for the cooks to prepare and then distribute during the communal dinners.

What Paul has noticed though, is that Daryl always brings back some meat to their shared trailer and stores it in their fridge. Paul’s pretty sure he only does it so he doesn’t have to go to the communal meals, he knows the older man isn’t exactly a people person.

Usually, he only sees the man of a night when he returns for the trailer and they have dinner but sometimes he sees him out in the community during the day, they don’t speak though, leaving each other to do their own thing.

For Daryl, that’s doing repairs to damaged areas of the wall and other buildings inside the community and once those are repaired, new things will start being built.

For Paul, it’s making more lists and marking areas on maps and also helping Maggie with the gardens, Paul’s good with gardening and plants and he and Maggie are working well together at making the gardens sustainable.

“So,” Maggie says, bent down over a garden bed and weeding the vegetable patch. “How’s living with Daryl going?” She asks curiously, glancing up at him.

Paul’s lips turn a little as he collects the weeds he’s pulled out in a pile so they’re easier to collect later on. “It’s good, I only really see him of a night, we eat and talk about our run.” Paul tells her. “He’s messy though, kind of bothers me.”

Maggie chuckles. “It’s Daryl, are you surprised he doesn’t keep things perfectly in order like you?” She asks with a quirked brow and Paul rolls his eyes at her. “Anyway, I’m just glad he’s here. He’s being a great help now, will be even more when the baby comes, he’s surprisingly great with kids.” She says thoughtfully, tucking some hair behind her ear and then re-adjusting her gloves.

Paul nods. “Yes, I noticed that.” He replies, thinking back to the moment with Judith.

Maggie hums and looks at him curiously for a second. “So, other than him being messy, you don’t mind him living with you?” She asks, and he knows she was quite surprised when he had offered Daryl a permanent residence in his trailer instead of just a temporary one.

“No,” Paul replies. “We got along, he isn’t bad company.”

Maggie smiles wide at him and places a hand on his thigh, squeezing it. “Look at you, making friends.” She seems to almost praise him.

He rolls his eyes and gently knocks her hand off his thigh, but he does smile back at her, just a little.

* * *

Paul blinks himself awake, almost groaning with how much he wants to go back to sleep. He sits up in the bed after a moment and stretches, climbing out of bed afterwards.

He looks at the lumpy human form on the couch under the window, surprised that Daryl is still fast asleep. He decides to let the other man sleep while he showers and then dresses, he’ll let him do the same while he gets breakfast in order. It’s nearly five in the morning, and Paul’s hoping to leave by six if they can get their things together.

Paul showers quickly and pulls on his clothing, the more practical things he uses when he leaves the walls, his coat, vest, knife belts, thicker cargo pants and all his other layers.

He leaves the bathroom door open once he’s out steps over to the couch, “Daryl?” He says as he gently places a hand on his shoulder and squeezes softly in an effort to wake him up.

He’s about to repeat the words again when Daryl’s eyes open and he blinks up at Paul with sleepy, puffy ocean blue eyes. “Hey.” The man says and sits up with a grunt, rubbing at the back of his neck and the blanket bunches up around his waist and Paul blinks at the pale patch of skin just above his hip.

“Hi.” Paul replies after a second and steps away from the couch and over to the kitchen. “Why don’t you go have a shower?” He says as he pulls a box of cereal from the cabinet. “I’ll get food while you do."

Daryl nods and stands up from the couch, grabbing his clothes from where Paul had laid them out on the table by his own last night.

Paul pours a generous amount of cereal in two bowls and grabs two spoons before taking both to the table and sitting down, he grabs his current book from the table that he left on the table also the previous night and starts reading as he shovels mouthfuls of cereal into his mouth.

Daryl emerges from the bathroom a few minutes later, wet hair dripping onto his shirt, well Paul’s shirt as the other man actually has no clothes of his own and has been wearing Paul’s since he had rescued him from the sanctuary. Paul doesn’t mind, he just gives the other man his clothes in bigger sizes that he doesn’t use as often.

“I finished packing everythin’ into the car last night, should be able to leave straight away.” Daryl tells him after swallowing a large mouthful, glancing over at Paul for a moment. 

“Okay, I said goodbye to Maggie last night as well, she won’t be awake yet.” Paul replies, remembering the tight hug the woman had gave him as he left her room, it had taken Paul by surprise and he had awkwardly hugged her back, he thinks it’s the first time he’s been hugged in many years and even when he had before, Maggie’s probably the only person that meant something to him.

* * *

Half an hour later, Daryl and Paul are driving along the road away from Hilltop, Paul behind the wheel and Daryl beside him reading over the large list as he nibbles at the hangnails around his thumb.

“It will take us about fifteen hours to get there.” Paul tells him, holding the wheel lazily. “So we’ll drive ‘till it’s dark and then drive the last bit in the morning, that way we’re not going to be at this place in the middle of the night to start with.”

Daryl nods in agreement and folds the list again. “Were there many walkers when you passed it?” He asks curiously, beginning to twirl one of his knives in his hands.

Paul shakes his head. “No, but it’s been about three and a half weeks, so things could have changed.” He says.

Daryl looks over at him. “Has it really only been that long since we’ve met?” Daryl asks with a quirked brow. “Feels longer.”

Paul nods in agreement. “Yeah, it does.” He replies, he knows it probably feels extra-long for Daryl since he spent an entire week locked in The Sanctuary, those days must have gone by painfully slow. “It’s surprised me how quickly I got close to Maggie.” He says, not sure why he said it.

“She’s like that, easy to get along with.” Daryl replies.

Paul hums in agreement as he nods. “So, four hour driving shifts?” He proposes, hoping for a change in conversation.

Daryl looks at him for a second. “Sure.” He replies quietly and shifts in his seat, propping his knees onto the dashboard and Paul’s just glad it’s not his muddy boots.


	5. Chapter 5

After a few minutes discussing it, they decided to leave the car parked along the street as they had seen no signs of danger that they would need to hide it from.

“I already killed most of the walkers outside when I was here, but there’s surely some inside the buildings and lurking around in the woods. It’s also been almost a month since I was here, so more have probably arrived.” Paul tells Daryl as he adjusts his gloves and Daryl places his knives back into the sheath on his thigh.

“Keep your guard up.” Daryl grunts after nodding, glancing at him as he closes the truck door and then locks it before making his way towards Paul.

“It’s never down.” Paul replies with a quirked brow, it’s almost saddening to him that he means it on more than one level. For safety reasons when it comes to being outside the walls or being around new people, or even when he knows somebody is trust worthy, not opening up to them.

He guesses the closest he’s come to opening up to someone in a long time is the conversation he had with Maggie before the war, sitting on the steps of his trailer. It wasn’t him coming out as gay that he considers him opening up because never in the slightest has he been ashamed of it, most people between the communities know by him saying something about it offhandedly or seeing him with one of the men he’s had relationships with. But what he considers opening up, was him telling her about how he grew up in a group home, only a select few people know that.

“Let’s go then.” Daryl says, taking the safety of his gun and making his way towards the closest house and Paul follows behind.

* * *

The first day of their trip went smoothly with no close calls, they raided the first three streets of the small town, a total of thirteen houses and have now just finished packing the large plastic containers into the truck. So far, they’re taking anything useful they can find, bedding, clothing, toiletries, hygiene products, cooking and cutlery supplies as well as still edible food, they had even found garden supplies and seeds in certain houses with larger backyards. They also grabbed any other useful things, or things that weren’t necessarily useful, but were on their list of requests of The Hilltop’s residents.

Both men carried a backpack at all times, so they could take certain things that they wanted for themselves and keep them separate from everything else. Paul usually snagging CDs and books, the CDs for his car trips and the small stereo he has back in the trailer. He’s managed to establish quite a good collection of music that he likes, and Daryl hadn’t complained when he had played it in the car during their trip, so he guesses he likes it as well.

“I think we’ll be done here within the next two days.” Daryl says, crossing his long legs on the dirt as he fiddles with the fire, it’s already lit but he’s building it up more so he’s able to cook the rabbit he went and caught for their dinner while Paul set up their camp just beside the truck. Really, they would have been more comfortable taking the RV because that way they would have had a kitchen, bathroom and a couch and bed, but they wouldn’t have had nearly enough room to store all their findings like they do with the truck.

By Paul’s watch, it’s just after six-thirty and the sun is beginning to set. His stomach is growling loudly and he’s sure Daryl can hear it, they had been so busy all day that they barely stopped to eat. Paul had an apple a few hours ago and he thinks he saw Daryl eating some sort of granola bar sometime around noon.

“Yes, I think so. As long as we don’t have any trouble.” Paul replies, resting his head back against the truck, his position with his back leaning against the tires not being the most comfortable. “Is there anything in particular you want for yourself?” He asks a moment later, tucking a long strand behind his ear and out of his eyes.

Daryl shrugs and flicks his bangs out of his eyes. “Not really, grabbed myself a watch though.” He says after a moment.

Paul nods and a small smile plays at his lip because he knows for a fact that a watch isn’t the only thing the man had grabbed for himself. Throughout the day he had seen the other man shove several packets of candy and chocolates into his backpack, Paul wouldn’t have picked the other man as a sweet-tooth, but he’s decided not to comment on it.

“Hopefully we’ll find more houses with nurseries, we didn’t really find much for the baby today.” Paul says after a few moments as he watches Daryl begin to cook the meat, unable to keep the worried tone out of his voice. “The pregnancy’s going to be hard enough on her, she doesn’t need to be worrying about having everything she needs, that appears to be my job.” He adds with a chuckle and a small smirk twitching at his lips.

Daryl glances over at him, staring at him through his bangs for a moment. “Do you know if Siddiq has experience with pregnancy and birth?” He asks curiously.

“I was talking to him a few days ago, he was a med student and a nurse before all this, so he has some general experience but not as much as Carson did. He told me he’s thinking about talking to King Ezekiel, he wants to switch places with the nurse up there, Alex, so he can have some training with the surgeon but we won’t be left without a doctor while he does.” Paul explains to the other man, accepting the knife and cloth that Daryl held out to him, cleaning it while Daryl continues to fiddle.

“It’s not a bad idea, Ezekiel should go for it.” Daryl says and Paul nods.

It’s not that the king wouldn’t go for it, it’s just that Alex may not be so happy about being in such close quarters with Paul. Their relationship was pretty much standard for Paul, friends to friends with benefits and then Alex wanted more. He wanted Paul to stop leaving so much, wanted Paul to be exclusively with him and stop sleeping with Eduardo like he does on occasion, wanted them to be a committed couple.

And Paul, well he didn’t want that, he wasn’t ready for that. It’s been a long time since he’s been in a committed relationship, a few years before the outbreak happened and even that relationship didn’t make the one-year mark, it crashed and burned. 

After Paul and Alex put an end to their relationship about six months ago, Alex stopped visiting him at the Hilltop and Paul hasn’t even seen him the last couple of times he’s been at The Kingdom, he saw him floating around a couple of times during the war, with The Kingdom’s surgeon, tending to those who were wounded. But Alex didn’t make the effort to talk to him and neither did Paul.

Paul wasn’t necessarily upset about the end of their relationship, the romance side of things at least, but Alex was his friend before they started having sex, and he’s lost that now. He doesn’t have a lot of people that he considers real friends, he has Maggie, Enid and Eduardo and he guesses he’s getting there with Daryl.

That’s probably the thing that worries him about his and Eduardo’s relationship, currently it’s nothing more than friends with benefits, but he knows that it could be another repeat of him and Alex if Eduardo wants more, or if the small chance of Paul getting feelings for the other man occurs, he knows he would call it off, because truth be told, he doesn’t see himself being in that kind of relationship, like Rick and Michonne, or Aaron and Eric. That kind of commitment doesn’t sit well with him, at least not now, in the old world it did, and he had tried being in real relationships but it just didn’t work out. But in this new world, that kind of relationship is rare, and he doesn’t see it happening for him.

Really, Paul knows his and Eduardo’s friends with benefits arrangement is risky, and he really just hopes that when it inevitably comes to an end, for whatever circumstances, they can do it on friendly terms.

“So, refusing to call him King?” Paul asks after almost a minute of silence between them with a smirk playing on his lips. He finishes with Daryl’s knife and places it down onto the man’s bed, the silver glinting in the setting sun.

“It’s ridiculous, the name, the act he puts on.”

Paul nods in agreement. “It is, but his people respect him and he’s a good leader.”

“I ain’t denying that.” Daryl grunts, turning the meat.

Paul hums and thinks for a moment as he observes the man, mind wandering to the constant looks he sees between Carol and the king, the smiles. “So, Carol and Ezekiel,” He says, Daryl looking over at him quickly. “How long do you think it will be until something happens there?” He asks, resting his elbow on his knee and his chin on that hand, smiling at the other man. 

Daryl shrugs. “Something already has, know that much. Be together within the month.” He replies offhandedly. 

Paul nods. “You think he’d be good for her? I can see how much she means to you.” Paul says, and it’s not hard to see, someone would have to be blind not to. He knows the two have been through a lot together, that she’s probably the closest thing he has to a best friend.

Daryl’s quiet for a while before he answers, turning the meat with one hand and fidgeting against his jeans with the other. “If she’s happy, then yeah.” He tells him, glancing over at him and holding eye-contact for a moment. “To me, that’s what matters.”

“I like that.” Paul tells the other man, offering him a smile when he looks over at him again and he’s taken by surprise when the man smiles back. It’s small, just a tiny upturn of his lips, but it’s there and it Paul really hopes, it’s a peak into who he is. “Anyway,” He says after a moment, clearing his throat and placing his hands on his knees as he stands up. “I’m going to go piss before dinner.” He tells the other man, grabbing his knife from its sheath and then making his way into the trees for privacy, not bothering to put his coat on. 

He’s just managed to finish peeing by the time the two walkers come stumbling towards him from behind an array of bushes, three women with filthy, stringy hair and tattered clothes and their groaning as they stretch their arms out towards him.

He quickly pulls his knife from its sheath and plunges it into the skull of the walkers one by one until they all lay lifeless on the ground, dead for the second time.

He places his knife back in its sheath and adjusts his pants, as he hadn’t been able to do that before he’s not exactly sitting comfortably. He proceeds to loot the bodies, not believing he’s going to find anything until he’s checking the green coat pocket of the final walker, smiling when his gloved hand wraps around a cardboard box. Checking the packet of cigarettes, he’s elated when he sees that only one or two are missing and he tucks the box into the pocket of his cargo pants.

He can hear the crackle of the fire as he makes his way back to their campsite, and sees Daryl serving the meat onto two plastic plates when he breaches the tree line.

Daryl jumps slightly when he arrives behind him and his head whips towards him, face relaxing when he sees it’s just him. “Fuck, do you not make any noise?” He grunts in annoyance and glares at him as he hands Paul his red plastic plate, apparently not bothering with a fork.

Paul laughs lightly and sits back down with his back against the wheels of the truck, sitting the plate on his lap so he can remove his gloves. Daryl makes his way over to his makeshift bed and sits on that as he immediately grabs himself several clumps of meat and shoves it into his mouth.

“Hungry?” Paul asks with a quirked brow as he stares at the other man, taking a piece of meat between his fingers and popping it into his mouth.

Daryl looks over at him, still glaring and shoving more meat into his mouth before he even finishes his first mouthful, holding his hand up and giving Paul the finger.

Paul laughs, quirks his brow a little more and gives the other man the finger right back.

“Run into walkers?” Daryl asks after a moment, nodding his head towards the blood spatter on Paul’s green sweater. 

Paul nods and suddenly remembers the cigarettes in his pocket and he places his plate down on the ground beside him as he rummages through his pocket. “Yep, and I found something for us to do after dinner!” He says with a proud smirk, finally getting the cigarettes out of his pocket and holding them up for Daryl to see, then proceeding to search for his lighter that he has in another pocket. 

Daryl’s face lightens a little at the sight of the cigarettes. “Best find the whole trip.” He mumbles, putting another mouthful of meat into his mouth and Paul laughs lightly, placing the cigarettes and lighter down and reaching for his plate again.

* * *

Three days later, Paul’s left Daryl to fall asleep against the window as he does the final check on the truck before they depart from the small town. 

They had finished raiding it yesterday but the two of them had spent until midday today doing rough map drawings of it and writing little information notes, because it would not at all be a bad place to create some outpost buildings if they sectioned off and walled a small part of the town. Or one day, if they eventually got there, it would be a good place to start another community: plenty of houses, a hall, church, small doctor’s office, grass areas where gardens could be made. It’s also surrounded by woods, so there would be plenty of game about, as Daryl had demonstrated by catching every one of their main meals.

By the time they had finished the raid, the truck was almost filled with the brim full of plastic containers and cardboard boxes full of supplies, they had organized it so the ones filled with baby supplies were right at the front, so they could easily be taken to Maggie and the others straight away.

Paul doesn’t know how she’ll react to all the baby and pregnancy things, she’s confided in him a couple of times about how she’s suffering through a range of different emotions, she’s excited for the baby to come but also scared due to Carson’s recent death and the fact it’s not the safest world for a baby. But most of all, how depressed she is because Glenn isn’t going to be around.

It saddens Paul, that her child will never meet its father, but he has reassured the crying woman that it would still have plenty have plenty of family around. That had made her feel a bit better.

There had been a total of six nurseries throughout the town, and Paul and Daryl had packed up everything, there’s three babies in total at The Hilltop, Judith, Gracie and Maggie’s unborn one. So, Paul and Daryl decided they were just going to throw it all into Barrington House’s library and Maggie, Aaron and Eric, and Carl and Enid could sort out who needed/wanted what between themselves and whatever was left over could be donated to the other communities.

After triple checking the lock, Paul finally steps away from the back of the truck and walks to the driver’s side door. He pulls it open and then hoists himself into the seat, Daryl sits up straight beside him and clears his throat, trying to hide that he had been sleeping.

“Good to go?” Paul asks, turning the car on and looking over at the other man.

Daryl nods and shifts to get more comfortable. “Yeah, let’s get this shit back.” He replies, accent seeming thicker with the drowsiness still seeping through his body.

Paul chuckles and begins to drive.

Five minutes later, Paul removes one of his hands from the wheel and holds it out with a flat palm over the middle seat between him and Daryl.

Daryl looks over at him with furrowed brows and a face full of confusion. “What? Want me to fucking hold your hand?” He asks, voice hoarse.

Paul immediately barks out a laugh and throws his head back for a moment. “No!” He manages to get out through his laughter. “I want a high-five! We did fucking good and we deserve to high-five over it!” He exclaims after getting his laughing under control, shaking his head and moving is hand closer to Daryl for emphasis.

Daryl’s cheeks flush a deep red as he stares at Paul for a few seconds, shifting between his face and hand for a while before he finally lifts his own dirt and mud stained one, and he slaps it down onto Paul’s gloved one with a satisfying noise and he shifts to look out the window to hide his smirk. 

“Dumbass.” He mumbles under his breath as he does and Paul laughs again, not minding the insult as he knows there was really no real ill meaning behind.

* * *

Eight hours later, it’s roughly nine pm and they’re about half way to The Hilltop and have decided not to pull over for the night, happy to arrive back in the very early morning and just leave the truck be and get themselves cleaned up until everyone else starts to awake and they start to sort the supplies. 

Daryl’s now behind the wheel, finishing up the final minutes of his driving shift before Paul has to take over again. The four-hour shifts worked well on the way to the town, so they decided to continue to the same thing now on the way back.

Paul’s just woken up from a small nap that he thinks was about two hours, almost groaning in relief at the dull ache behind his eyes being gone.

“Feeling alright?” Daryl asks cautiously a few minutes after Paul has awoken, Paul had told the other man his reason for going to sleep.

Paul nods and stretches his arms above his head as best he can in the truck, looking over at the other man with a smirk. “Yeah, it’s gone, thank god.” He replies, Daryl nods awkwardly and a few of his knuckles, Paul watches him for a few seconds before he speaks up again. “I think this has been a pretty successful trial run to see if we can work as a team.”

Daryl looks over at him for just a second. “Yeah? Reckon we can?” He asks curiously.

Paul nods and smirks softly at the other man. “Yeah, I think I’ll let you stick around.” He replies, voice full of mirth.

Daryl rolls his eyes and then proceeds to slow the car down and pull over. “Alright, your turn asshole.” He says and jumps out of the truck, walking around the front while Paul just slides over the seats.


	6. Chapter 6

It’s just past four am when the two men sleepily shuffle through the door of their trailer, the truck safely parked by the guard tower, leaving with Kal with strict orders that nobody was to touch the supplies until they have given their say so, over-excited residents could make a complete mess of their organisation trying to find if their requests have been filled.

Paul closes the door behind him and almost bumps into Daryl who’s pulling off his boots when he turns back around, he leans down and pulls his own off smirking a little when Daryl immediately makes his over to his couch-bed, flopping down facedown and not even bothering to change his clothes or pull the blankets over himself.

Paul himself, needs to shower immediately, not at all enjoying the feel of gunk soiling his clothes, hair and beard. Going to his dresser, he pulls out a pair of sweats and then a t-shirt, careful not to get any gunk on them as he makes his way to the trailer’s small bathroom.

Once he’s out, he’s cold from his wet hair and beard and immediately makes his way to his bed, looking at Daryl who’s already passed out asleep as he crawls under the covers of his bed, tucking them under his chin and then closing his eyes. He hopes that the two of them can get a few hours of sleep before they’re woken up by whoever wants their attention.

* * *

It’s just after eight am when Paul’s woken up by a knocking on the trailer door, he squeezes his eyes closed and brushes some hair out of his eyes. He groans when the knock comes again and sits up on his bed, stretching his arms and legs for a few seconds before he stands up and makes his way to the door, only just noticing the sound of the shower running from inside the bathroom. Looking over at the couch, Daryl isn’t there.

Paul yawns when he pulls the door open and then smiles at the sight of Maggie waiting for him, a big smile on her face and it only takes a few seconds for her to pull him into a hug. He surprises even himself when he isn’t stiff this time, he cautiously wraps his arms around her waist and she rests her head on his shoulder. 

“It’s good to see you back safe.” Maggie says softly, patting his back a couple of times before she pulls away. “Daryl here?” She then asks as Paul steps aside and allows her to step into the trailer.

“It’s good to be back, and yeah, he’s in the shower.” Paul tells her, smirking how she makes herself right at home and sits down at the dining table, placing a hand on her belly and grabbing an apple with her other.

“Did you have any trouble?” She asks before taking a bite.

Paul shakes his head as he goes through his dresser finding his clothes for the day. “No, got it all done smoothly, found plenty of things for all the babies. Me and Daryl figured it would be best for us to just carry it all into the library and you, Aaron and Eric and Carl and Enid can decide who wants what.” Paul tells her, pulling his t-shirt over his head and pulling his blue button up on instead.

Maggie nods, not facing him, giving him privacy as he dresses even though he couldn’t really care less, but he still appreciates it anyway.

“Sounds like a plan, we can get right to it once Daryl’s out of the shower.” Maggie replies, smiling at him, now dressed as he sits down with her at the table.

* * *

Forty minutes later, Paul’s sitting on one of the couches in the library, Judith playing with new blocks at his feet, Maggie creating her own little pile of baby supplies with Enid and Carl’s just grabbing toys for Judith as he had said none of her belongings had been damaged at Alexandria. 

Paul had been entertaining himself by watching Aaron and Eric fuss over what cot is better for Gracie and what clothes they think are cuter, it had been going on for ten minutes when Gracie started crying with a full diaper and both men had immediately began fussing over her instead and excusing themselves for a few minutes to take care of her. 

Daryl, who had been helping do some more unpacking of the truck, makes an appearance a few minutes after they’ve left and Paul watches as he crosses the room, petting Judith’s head as he does and then dropping down onto the couch beside Paul, offering him a bottle of water.

“Thank you.” Paul replies and takes a few sips before handing it back. “It’s almost like a circus in here.” Paul mumbles as he looks out at where Enid has just knocked over a large pile of boxed supplies, the noise scaring Judith who’s now screaming into the collar of Carl’s shirt.

Daryl hums in agreement and crosses both of his legs up onto the couch, glancing nervously at Judith like he’s itching to just go and comfort her.

Enid looks guilty as she gives Carl a smile and steps over to him, kissing his cheek and then Judith’s chubby one. “Sorry, sweetie.” She coos and the small girl holds her arms out, and Carl chuckles as he transfers Judith out of his arms and into Enid’s.

The heavy wooden library door opens a few minutes later and Aaron and Eric walk back into the room, Gracie in Eric’s arms as Aaron immediately makes his way back over to the crib and changing table he and Eric had been looking at before Gracie had started crying.

Eric instead makes his way over to where Paul and Daryl are still sitting on the couch, he comes to a stop in front of them and holds out the baby to Daryl, and both Paul and Eric smile when he doesn’t even hesitate to take the five-month old into his arms.

“Figured she should be spending some time with her Uncle Daryl.” The auburn-haired man says, smiling at a shy looking Daryl and then petting his new daughter’s head before making his way over to Aaron. 

Both men are silent for several moments before Daryl turns the baby around in his lap so she’s facing him, and she looks up at him curiously, small hands sticking out of the sleeves of her light green onesie.

“Hey, Gracie.” The other man says, petting down her dark blonde hair with his big hand and focusing on nothing but the little baby in his lap.

It once again makes Paul wonder whether the other man had children before the outbreak, seeing him with Gracie, it seems to just come so naturally to him. But, Paul knows it’s not his place to ask right now, they’re not close enough for Paul to go and be asking deep personal questions about the man’s past. He hasn’t even done that with Maggie.

He watches as Gracie shifts in Daryl’s lap and then reaches up to his face, cupping his cheeks before getting excited and tugging at his hair with several giggles slipping from her lips.

Paul’s stomach flutters just a tiny bit, and a smile pulls at his lips when Daryl, one of the fiercest fighters between the communities, leans forward and presses chapped lips against the baby’s forehead with a smile. 


	7. Chapter 7

Paul takes a deep inhale of his cigarette, letting it sit in his lungs for several seconds before he exhales it back out in rings, watching how they break into the cool morning air. His legs hang over the side of the roof of the trailer, and he can feel the cool metal of the roof pressing through the material of his cargo pants.

The sun is just beginning to set over the woods but Paul hasn’t slept yet, it’s just been one of those nights. It was just after three am that he finally gave up on sleeping and put on some warmer clothes before carefully sneaking out of the trailer, careful not to wake Daryl, who much to Paul’s jealousy seemed to be sleeping like a baby.

He has another half hour by himself before he hears the trailer door open, he turns around and spots Daryl looking around the community sleepily as he pulls on his black coat.

“Hey.” Paul calls out in greeting and Daryl looks around confused for a second before he spots him, furrowing his brows once he has. “Wanna a smoke?” He asks after a second.

Daryl looks at him for a moment before nodding, he’s then quiet for a moment before he awkwardly clears his throat. “How’d you get up there?” He asks. 

Paul smirks a little and leans back, putting his weight onto his hand. “I just grabbed the rail and hoisted myself up, but there’s crates around the side you climb up.” Paul tells him, gesturing to the location of the crates.

Daryl glares at him for a second and then walks around the trailer and begins to climb up the boxes, once he’s up on the roof, he sits down beside Paul, a two-foot difference between them.

Paul hands him the box of cigarettes they had brought back from their run three days ago, the packet now half empty, he also then hands him his lighter.

“Why aren’t you asleep?” Daryl asks as he lights his cigarettes, keeping his eyes on the woods out in front of them.

“Couldn’t.” Paul replies simply and takes another drag of his cigarette.

Daryl nods in understanding. “I usually don’t sleep all that good either.” He admits quietly, fiddling with the lighter. “Just exhausted with all the buildin’ we been doing the past couple of days.” He says, referring to the construction of the new stables he’s been working on with Carl, Kal, Alden, some other residents and Eduardo now that he’s back from The Sanctuary.

Paul hasn’t seen much of Eduardo yet as he’s been busy with the building of the stables and other repairs around the community, and Paul himself has been making more plans for runs and scouting trips and he’s also been helping Maggie with the gardens. Paul went around to his trailer to say hello when he first got back and they shared a couple of kisses, but other than that they haven’t interacted much.

“I’m excited for it, it’ll be great to have my horse here, Maggie would love to see them as well, she can’t ride obviously but she can still spend time with them.” Paul says, a small grin playing at his lips and he catches Daryl looking at him out of the corner of his eyes.

“You have a horse? Where is it?” Daryl asks curiously after taking another drag of his cigarette.

Paul nods and can’t stop the smile anymore. “Yeah, I do. Since we don’t have anywhere here for him, he’s kept up at the stables at The Kingdom. So, once the stables are done, he’ll be moved here along with a few others that Ezekiel is gifting to certain members.” Paul explains, excitement bubbling in his stomach just at the thought of his gelding being here where he can see him whenever he wants. “His name’s Echo, I found him out in the woods outside of The Kingdom about a year ago. He wasn’t even afraid, he walked right up to me and then followed back to The Kingdom, let me ride him straight away and everything. He was broken in and still wearing an embroidered halter with ‘Echo’ on it, so someone obviously owned him before all this.”

Daryl nods as he smokes and listens to every word he says. “The last time a rode a horse, I came off it and fell down a cliff and into a river, impaled myself on a bolt on the way down.” He admits to Paul and Paul can see how he winces.

Paul’s brows raise. “Seriously? When was this?” He asks curiously, very interested in the other man’s anecdote.

Daryl sighs, rolling his eyes at Paul’s reaction and taking another drag of his cigarette. “Yep. Right at the start, a couple months in. It was at Maggie’s farm, her dad’s horse, Nervous Nelly, he called her. She got spooked by a snake, I wasn’t expecting it and came off. Still got the scar.” He says.

Paul chuckles as he shakes his head, he doesn’t feel the need to bring up why Daryl was out in the woods. He had heard the sad story about Carol’s daughter getting lost in the woods, and how hard Daryl had tried to find her. Maggie told him that she knows he still feels guilty about it to this day, that he believes he could have done more to save her.

“Well, would you ride again?” Paul asks curiously, he’s been thinking about something the past couple of days.

Daryl looks over at him, puffing out some smoke. “Yeah, have rode a couple of times since, Michonne had a horse at the prison.” He replies.

Paul nods, Maggie had told him about the prison as well. “Well, when the stables are done, which is another couple of days, I’m planning on going to Kingdom to get the horses, and take Judith and Carl back to Rick and Michonne as well and since we’re partners in crime now, I guess you’ll be coming with me?” He asks, moving closer to Daryl to gently nudge his shoulder with his own.

“Yeah, and?” Daryl replies, puffing more of his cigarette out into the cool air.

“Well.” Paul starts, snagging the pack of cigarettes out of Daryl’s hand to grab himself another one. “I was going to talk to King Ezekiel about being given an extra horse since we have extra stalls, so far we’re being given Echo and three others, one for Eduardo, Enid and then another to be shared around, it’ll probably end up being Maggie’s when she can ride again, but we don’t have one for you.” Paul explain, quirking a brow at the other man. “And as I said, we’re partners in crime, and will be travelling a lot between the communities and scouting close by, it would be convenient if you had a horse as well, we wouldn’t be using gas all the time, and we’d be able to do more stuff in the woods quicker than if we were on foot.” Paul explains to the other man, wondering how he’ll be feeling about his idea.

Daryl has no reaction for a few seconds, but then he nods and looks back out at the rising sun. “Think Ezekiel will go for it? Horses are worth a lot now, he might not just wanna keep giving them away.” Daryl says curiously, shuffling his position so he has his knees tucked up under his chest.

Paul nods, knowing that’s true. “Well yes, but me and you could offer things in return as payment, something we have already or something we could get. They have a lot of horses there anyway, they might not miss one more.” Paul replies, and after a moment, shuffles back from the edge of the roof so he can lay down on his back with his legs stretched out in front of him, Daryl watches him move. “And if that doesn’t work, you could ask Carol to persuade him.” He then adds, a small smirk on his lips.

Daryl snorts a soft laugh and shakes his head, pushing Paul’s boot covered foot with his hand. “We’ll see how we go then.” Paul says.

They sit in silence for another half an hour or so and Paul checks his watch, just after six-thirty it reads, meaning most of The Hilltop’s residents will be waking up within the hour.

Paul sighs. “Can you believe it’s already almost been two weeks since the war ended?” He asks quietly, surprised at how fast the time seems to have gone.

Daryl grunts from in front of him. “Well, we did spend almost five days out, probably why it don’t seem as long.”

Paul hums. “That’s true.” He says and then sits up from his spot on the trailer and once again makes his way to the ledge to climb down, deciding to get on with his day. “I have traps to check out in the woods, and you have a stable to finish.” He says as he jumps down, watching Daryl do the same a few seconds later, apparently fine to jump down, just not climb up, which is fair enough.

“Traps?” Daryl asks curiously and accepts the packet of cigarettes and lighter Paul is holding out to him, shoving them into the pockets of his tattered jeans and then pulling his coat tighter around himself.

Paul hums and pulls his leather gloves from his pocket, pulling them on as he looks at the man standing in front of him. “Yeah, I have about ten set up, usually get a couple of rabbits.” Paul says. “I know how to track, so I just set up the metal traps where I usually see the most foot traffic, chuck some food in it and check them after a few days and they’re trapped in there, and I kill them myself.” Paul explains.

Daryl nods. “Alright, see you later then.” He says and then steps away, beginning to make his way to the area behind Barrington House, that’s where they have all the livestock set up, the chicken coop, the cow pen and now the stables.

Paul smiles at him. “See you.” He says and goes into the trailer briefly to collect his knives, gun and backpack that he always keeps stocked with basic supplies and finally an extra game bag before he before heading out. He says a polite good morning at Alden who’s on watch duty and says his thanks when he opens the gates for him, letting him know he should be back by midday.

* * *

It’s about half passed eleven am when Paul makes his way back through the gates, seeing it’s now Kal back on duty.

Paul immediately makes his way to Barrington House, very much hoping he can avoid running into Gregory as he makes his way through the bottom floor of the house towards the back where the very large kitchen is. 

The delicious smell hits him before he’s even through the door of the kitchen, it smells like stew. Daryl brought back a deer from a hunting trip yesterday and he guesses the cooks are making good use of it.

Stepping through the door, he’s greeted by the sight of Tammy, a handsome woman with aging skin and blonde hair and an exhausted face, Paul knows it’s probably the result of her rebellious son Ken and her husband, Earl, the blacksmith. Paul knows the man borders on being an alcoholic, the outbreak had taken the rest of his and Tammy’s children, two daughters, Tammy had told him, it just seems he hasn’t been able to deal with it as well as Tammy has.

“Hello.” Paul greets her, dropping the game bag down onto the large counter in the middle of the kitchen and she looks over her shoulder at him from where she’s stirring something in a large pot, she smiles in greeting.

Eric walks out of the pantry then, a bright smile on his face as he walks over to Paul, petting his shoulder when he reaches him. “Hello, how are you?” He asks as he begins to pull the rabbits out of Paul’s game bag, he had caught a total of six. 

“Morning, I’m well, thank you.” Paul replies, smiling back at the other man, glad that he seems to be enjoying his new job as one of the community’s cooks.

On one of the first days at the community after the war, at the communal breakfast, Paul had been sitting with Aaron, Eric, Gracie and Maggie and they were casually chatting as they enjoyed their porridge and fruit breakfast.

Aaron and Eric had been asking what jobs were available around the community, as they did not want to take advantage of their place, they wanted to contribute.

They had talked about it all breakfast and came to the decision that Eric would start to work in the kitchen with Tammy, who has been understaffed since the other chef had been lost during the war. Since Eric had expressed how much he loved cooking, it seemed like the perfect fit and the auburn-haired man was very happy to accept the job when Paul offered it to him.

As for Aaron, he had temporarily been put on building and repair duty until the community had obtained another person who was suited to be his recruit/run partner. There was Bertie, but she’s currently at The Kingdom recovering from an injury obtained during the war and also she isn’t overly experienced.

“Did Daryl catch these?” Eric asks as he pulls the rabbits from the bag and takes them over to a cutting board over on another counter.

Paul shakes his head. “No, I caught them is some traps I have set up out in the woods, I don’t know if Daryl will get to hunting in the next couple of days, he’s really busy with the stables and then we’re heading to Kingdom when it’s done.” Paul informs the two cooks, so they know to ration their current meat in the fridge and to make other alternate dishes if they run out before he’s able to go again.

“Okay, we’ll keep that in mind.” Tammy says, having moved away from the pot and is now rummaging around in a drawer for something.

“Alright,” Paul says and grabs his now empty game bag of the counter and makes his way to the door. “See you later.”

* * *

Three days later, Paul’s standing in front of now finished stables with a wide smile on his face, Daryl beside him, pushing metal tack boxes into the spare spaces between the stall doors. 

“It looks great!” Paul exclaims as he begins to walk along the length of the stables, running his hand over the wood.

And it does, the barn is made of dark brown planks of wood, and the building isn’t enclosed, the roof extends about four meters over in front over the end of the stalls, giving plenty of shelter from the weather. There’s a total of six stalls side by side, and each stall has a half door that leaves a space that the horses will be able to stick their head out so they won’t feel like they’re isolated. At the back of the stalls is also another space in the wood, with bars so that the horses are unable put their heads out but it still lets light into the stall.

Paul turns to face Daryl after a moment and smiles at him, he cautiously reaches out and pets his shoulder for a moment. “Thank you for this, really. It’s fantastic, looks like we can leave for Kingdom tomorrow.” He says with smiles, sincerely meaning every word.

Daryl very quickly looks embarrassed and stares down at the ground, and Paul catches the way his cheeks flush. It makes him smile more. “Ain’t nothin’.” Daryl mumbles, then moves away from Paul after a few more seconds and reaches for his water bottle that he had sitting on a nearby tack box.

Paul chuckles. “Still, thank you.” He repeats. “Why don’t you go and clean up, we can have dinner after. I’ll go and let everyone know we’ll be leaving tomorrow.” Paul tells him.

Daryl nods in agreement, gives Paul a tiny smile when they make eye-contact and then begins to head off to their trailer. 

Paul follows behind him for a while until they’re back in the main area of The Hilltop, he makes his way to the med trailer first in search of Siddiq to see if he wants to come so he can talk to Ezekiel about his idea to get some training from their doctor.

He knocks on the door but doesn’t enter until he hears Siddiq call him inside. “How can I help you?” Siddiq asks with a smile from where he’s sitting at the wooden table in the far side of the trailer, Carl opposite him and a Chess board between them.

Paul almost chuckles at the sight of them as he steps closer, closing the door behind him. “The stables are officially finished, so we’ll be leaving for The Kingdom tomorrow. Siddiq you should come so you can talk to King Ezekiel about you’re training idea.” Paul tells him, crossing his arms over his chest.

Siddiq nods and shifts in his seat. “Yeah, okay. I hope he goes for it, I’d love to be of more help.” He replies, still seeming a little shy around him and he notices he’s the same with everyone but Carl, Paul figures he’ll relax soon enough.

“Alright, meet at the gates at ten.” Paul tells them. “We’ll get there at about eleven and we’ll be staying the night, so pack enough.” He tells the man before turning the Carl. “And you’ll be coming to take Judith and go back to your parents.” Paul tells him, a strange look comes over Carl’s face and he looks down at his hands, Paul doesn’t comment on it and instead nods at the both of them before making his way out of the trailer.

He’s about ten meters away from it when he hears the door open and footsteps are running down the metal stairs. “Hey, Jesus!” He hears Carl call out and he comes to a stop, turning around to face the teenager.

“What is it?” He asks with furrowed brows. Carl stops in front of him and suddenly looks almost nervous, fiddling with his fingers and glancing down at his feet. “Carl?” He repeats.

“Um, do you think I would be able to stay here? Like permanently?” He asks after a few seconds of silence.

Paul’s brows furrow as he looks at the shorter boy in front of him. “Carl, why don’t you want to be with your parents and sister? And shouldn’t this be a conversation you have with your parents and not me?” He replies, completely confused as to why the conversation is happening.

Carl sighs and shifts on his feet, meeting managing to meet Paul’s eyes again. “It’s not that I don’t want to be with them… It’s just, I like it better here, Alexandria is a complete mess at the moment and I haven’t wanted to be there for a long time, it was okay before when everyone was there, Enid was there.” Carl begins to explain, looking extremely uncomfortable but still continuing to speak, so Paul listens intently. “But now, everyone’s spread out in different places and I kind of have different options, and here seems like the best one, the calmest, I just don’t think I can deal with being in Alexandria.” He goes quiet again for a moment before he speaks again, his voice small and quiet. “I just really don’t want to be there.”

Paul sighs heavily and he looks at the boy, and in this moment, he actually looks his young age of fifteen years, not the stressed and scared child that he tried so hard to hide, a boy who was forced to grow up too fast.

“Carl, why don’t you want to be at Alexandria?” He asks quietly, taking the boy by his upper arm and leading him over to a nearby picnic table and urging him to sit down, taking a seat in front of him once he has.

Carl sighs again and continues to look down at his hands. “I can’t be there without thinking what happened…” He says so quietly Paul can barely hear him. “I lost my fucking eye because a kid who thought was my friend tried to murder my dad but managed to fucking shoot me instead. Now my face is so fucked up…”

Paul cuts him off before he can continue to speak, slightly surprised to hear the vulgar words coming from the teenager’s mouth. “Carl, for starters, don’t ever be ashamed of your scars, they are nothing more than a sign of strength.” Paul tells him and he remembers saying something similar to a young girl who was in the group home with him, she had been severely abused by her step-father and was covered in scars from it, her name was Clara.

Carl looks up at him for a moment, and then back down to try and hide slightly watery eye, Paul really didn’t expect the kid to open up to him because they barely know each other, but maybe that’s the main reason he is. “Negan has some weird fucking obsession with it, made me take my patch of and then walk all fucking around The Sanctuary and Alexandria with it, and everyone saw.” He says, voice filled with anger and embarrassment.

Paul sighs and reaches over to the boy and he places a hand on his shoulder. “Carl, you have a place here, you would be a good help here and I know Daryl and Enid would love to have you around all the time, but you need to talk to your parents about this okay?” Paul tells him softly, squeezing his shoulder. “I will argue your case if you need me to, but you need to try first, alright?” Paul tells him.

Carl’s silent for a few seconds before he finally looks back up at Paul nods. “Okay, thank you.” Carl says quietly, quickly seeming to become embarrassed now as he shifts uncomfortably. 

Paul gives him a small smile. “Your parents love you, Carl, and they want what’s best for you, and if they let you stay here, then it’s what’s best and if not, you need to listen to them okay? Because they know.” Paul tells him, squeezing his shoulder once more and then straightening his collar before he stands up from the picnic bench. “Now come on, me and Daryl have left over spaghetti from Eric.” Paul tells him and takes his elbow to help him stand up. “The taste makes up for how messy Daryl is when he eats it.” He jokes, hoping to lighten the mood.

It does and Carl chuckles. “Okay.” He says, a small smile playing at his lips. “You know, you’re the only person who refers to them both as my parents, I mean they do with dad obviously, but they always just call Michonne ‘Michonne’.” Carl says as they begin the walk from the back end of the community to closer to the front where Paul and Daryl’s trailer is.

Paul furrows his brows at that because somehow he hadn’t noticed that and apparently Carl is going to open up to him more, and this day really isn’t ending how he thought it would. “Do you think of Michonne as your mom?” He asks, not at all minding the slow pace they seem to be walking at.

Carl quiet for a moment. “Yeah, I do. There’s been so many times where I’ve gone to call her mom accidently, I feel so guilty about it.” He says quietly, fiddling with his fingers as he walks.

“Carl, I know what happened to your mom, Lori, Maggie told me about her.” Paul says softly, that had been an emotional day, Maggie was having a moment where she was petrified that she would meet the same fate. “Viewing Michonne as your mom and wanting to call her mom, is not at all a form of replacing your birth mom, okay? It’s called overcoming your grief and moving on with your life, she wouldn’t be mad or upset, she would want you to be happy and if that means viewing another woman as your parent, then that’s that. People can have more than two parents okay? To have any kind of good parent makes someone very lucky, and to have a loving child, makes that parent very lucky.” Paul says and once again he thinks how long it’s been since he’s comforted a child like this. “You view all three of them as your parents and that’s complete okay. Rick and Michonne are lucky to have you as a son, Carl, and you’re lucky to have them. So, don’t spend your time feeling guilty about it, okay?”

Carl continues to stay silent for a few moments and Paul see that he’s taking in what he ahd said and thinking deeply about it, they’re fairly close to the trailer now. Carl suddenly smirks and chuckles. “Were you a therapist or something before all this?” He asks kind of awkwardly as they walk up the metal stairs and into the trailer.

Paul laughs as he closes the door behind them, he can hear the shower going, so that means Daryl is in here and Paul hopes he hasn’t been in there all that time because he’s really going to need a hot shower after this conversation.

“No, I wasn’t a therapist.” He says, gesturing towards the dining table for Carl to sit down as he makes his way to the fridge to get the spaghetti.

“How are you so good at this then?” He asks, voice laced with curiosity.

This time it’s Paul’s turn to be quiet and he sighs deeply, _why the hell not?_ “I grew up in a lot of group homes from when I was a kid to when I was legally allowed to live on my own when I was eighteen. When I got older, I spent a lot of my time comforting some of the younger kids around because the people who ran the group homes were no good at it.” Paul tells the boy, giving him a small smile as he places the large bowl of spaghetti in the microwave and puts in a time, knowing the three of them will be able to finish it off.

Carl seems surprised by his answer and just blinks at him a couple of times. “Oh, well I’m sure they appreciated it… cause I know I do now.” He says quietly, cheeks flushing a deep embarrassed red as he stares down at his lap.

It makes Paul smile and he steps over to the boy to gently ruffle his hair. “You’re welcome, and you can talk to me whenever alright?” Paul says, smiling when the boy nods.

He then steps over to his bed and grabs his water empty bottle from where it lays on the bed so he can refill it.

An hour later, the sun has set and Paul and Carl are heading towards Barrington House, both with full bellies. Paul’s on his way to go and see Maggie to let her know about their trip tomorrow and Carl’s meeting up with Enid before he goes to sleep.

“Goodnight, Carl. I’ll see you tomorrow, ten am.” Paul tells him, smiling at the boy before he turns around and begins to make his way towards the stairs that will lead him to Maggie’s bedroom.

“Goodnight.” Carl replies and then speaks again a few seconds later. “Hey?”

Paul turns back around to face him and quirks a brow. “What’s up?” He asks.

Carl smirks a little. “I’m sorry…” He says and Paul squints at him in confusion. “For what I did that day when we went to The Sanctuary, how I tricked you like that.”

A smirk plays at Paul’s own lips but manages to hide it. “You better be, kid, you had me fucking worried.” And he actually becomes irritated when he remembers that day, because he had been really fucking worried about the kid and angry at himself for not realising his plan. “In fact, that’s gonna be a rule if you live her permanently.” He says, looking at Carl with a serious expression, and finding the boy looking back at him with a matching one, suddenly looking a bit guilty. “You don’t pull shit like that again, okay?” He says, quirking his brow.

Carl nods, allowing himself to smile a little. “Okay.” He replies.

Paul smiles back and turns back to the stairs. “Go see your girlfriend now, kid.” He says as he begins to climb the stairs.

* * *

Half an hour later, Paul’s stepping back into his trailer, pulling the door closed behind him to keep out the cool evening air.

He spots Daryl sitting at the table where he was when Paul left, but their dishes from dinner have been washed up and put away, so that means he got up at some point. He now has a book in his hands.

“Is that my book?” Paul asks curiously as he pulls his boots off and hangs his coat up.

Daryl clears his throat and looks up at him. “Yeah, you mind?” He asks, glancing between Paul and the book nervously.

Paul quickly shakes his head as he makes his way around the table to grab his pajamas where he left them on the bed. “No, of course not.” Paul replies and gives the other man a soft smile before he walks over to the bathroom. He’s about to close the door when Daryl calls out to him. “Yeah?” Paul asks, keeping his head poked out so he cans see Daryl but placing his clothes down on the vanity.

“What was all that about? Saw you and Carl talking for ages and then bringing him here for dinner, he alright?” Daryl asks, voice filled with concern for his nephew.

Paul sighs, and leans against the door frame as he looks at Daryl, crossing his arms over his chest. “He asked if he could stay here permanently and not Alexandria, that he’s not happy there.” Paul tells him.

Daryl nods and closes the book. “Makes sense, he ain’t got a lot of good memories there. What’d you tell him?” He replies.

“I told him he has a place here but that he needs to talk to his parents about it tomorrow, I also said I’d argue his case. There was some more detail, but I’m pretty certain he told me in confidence.” Paul explains and Daryl nods in understanding. “We also talked about Lori and Michonne, he was having some trouble about he thinks of them both as his mom. We talked it out though, to be honest I’m really surprised with how much he opened up to me, he barely knows me.” Paul admits, beginning to undo the buttons on the white button up without really thinking about it.

“I’m just glad he did, he’s been off for a long time, he needed to talk to someone.” Daryl says, cheeks red and eyes nervously beginning to flicker around the trailer as Paul pulls his shirt off and tosses it into the hamper.

Paul notices and furrows his brows in confusion at his roommate’s strange reaction. “Well, I’m going to shower, so I’ll see you in a bit.” He says and proceeds to close the door.

When Paul comes out of the bathroom twenty minutes later, Daryl is still reading but he has moved to lay on the couch instead.

Paul grabs a book himself from one of his many piles and makes his way to his bed, laying down under the covers and trying to focus on reading and not having to ask Ezekiel for another horse and how to go about it, or Siddiq’s plan about medical training, or the conversation Carl’s going to have with his parents and they’ll surely want to talk to him as well.

After a while and with a deep sigh, Paul closes his book and puts it down on his bedside table, closing his eyes and crawling further under the covers and hoping to fall asleep.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING -  
> Alcoholism, depression and self harm in the form of cutting are mentioned in this chapter.

“Guys, come on!” Daryl shouts after shoving his head out the window of the RV, Paul sits beside him in the passenger seat and laughs.

“Come on, Daryl. They’re teenagers in love, leave them alone.” He says with a smirk, Enid and Carl are standing just in front of the RV, very passionately kissing goodbye.

“Fuck’s sake.” Daryl groans with a growl, letting his head fall back against the headrest of the driver’s seat.

Siddiq and Judith sit behind them in the lounge area of the RV, Siddiq relaxing on one of the couches reading a book and Judith is sitting beside the small coffee table, playing with some toys on top of it.

Daryl manages to give the young couple another thirty seconds before he shoves his head out the window again. “Carl! Get your ass in here!” He yells at him.

Paul laughs and he sees Carl and Enid do the same as they pull away from each other, they have a few brief words and a hug before Carl finally makes his way to the door of the RV and he smiles sheepishly at them as he takes a seat down on the couch beside Judith, petting her curls as he smiles at her.

“Alright, let’s fucking go.” Daryl grunts and begins to drive the car out of the already opened gates, Paul chuckles again and relaxes against his seat after inserting one of his favorite CDs and allowing the music to fill his ears.

* * *

“Alright, we’re about ten minutes away.” Paul says an hour later, stretching after his brief nap. He glances back into the living area and sighs quietly at the sight of Carl, the boy is fidgeting nervously in his seat, drumming his fingers along his thigh and tapping his feet against the wooden floor.

Paul stands up from his seat and steps over to the boy and carefully sits down beside him. “Relax, kid.” He says softly, Siddiq being too engrossed in his book to hear them and Judith the same with her animal puzzle. “You can talk to them first, okay? And then if you or them want to, they can come and talk to me.” Paul tells him.

“Thank you.” Carl says, nodding nervously but managing to give him a small before he stands up himself. “Going to use the bathroom.” He says and walks over to the door that leads into the tiny bathroom.

Paul relaxes back against the couch and closes his eyes again, he only opens them when something suddenly taps his thigh, making him jump. He looks down and finds Judith sitting on her knees and looking up at him, her curly hair framing her sweet face.

His stomach thumps a little because he really doesn’t have experience with really young kids, he had said to Carl he used to comfort them a lot when he was in the group homes and he did but really, he was never in a house with kids under six too often. From that age he’s fine, because they have some sense of independency but Judith is barely a year old. He’s never even held a baby before.

The small girl doesn’t say anything for several seconds, just blinks up at him with big brown eyes but then all of a sudden she’s launching herself into his lap, scrambling limbs everywhere and he gasps when a tiny foot lands dangerously close to his crotch before she finally settles and plants her butt down on his lap.

His entire body goes stiff and his hands awkwardly hover above the couch cushions as he stares at toddler in his lap.

“You good?” Daryl suddenly asks from the driver’s seat, watching them through the mirror above him and Paul just knows that he’s smirking.

“I’m fine- Ow!” Tiny but aggressive hands are suddenly in the long hair that he had left out, tugging at chestnut the strands harshly and threading them through small fingers. “Judith, that hurts.” He says with a wince as he carefully tries to pry the hands out of his hair but she seems to only grasp harder.

He can hear Siddiq and Daryl chuckle. “Should’ve wore your hair up today, huh?” Daryl says, looking back over his shoulder and Paul glares daggers out him.

“Judith, please, let go.” Paul says, pulling at the small girl’s fingers and she giggles with delight.

It’s then when Carl comes out of the bathroom, immediately smirking at the state his baby sister as put The Hilltop’s scout in. “What are you doing, Judy?” He asks with a wide smile as he picks the girl up, fingers slipping from long hair as she settles against her brother’s hip.

“Thank you.” Paul sighs and quickly stands up from the couch and makes his way back to the safety of his passenger seat, Daryl’s smirking as he drives through the gates of The Kingdom and Paul continues to glare daggers at him as he crosses his arms over his chest.

They all make their way out of the RV once it’s parked, Siddiq nervously sticking close to Paul and Judith looking around the unfamiliar place with curious and excited eyes.

“Sup, dudes!” Jerry greets them cheerfully from where he had been watching the gate, climbing down the ladder and holding out his fist for Paul to bump, which he does.

“Hey, Jerry.” Paul replies, smiling at the happy man as he adjust his backpack. 

Soon enough Rick and Michonne realise their arrival from where they had been in the garden’s nearby, one of Alexandria’s residents following behind them, a pretty red-headed woman with a bright look on her face, Barbara, Paul thinks her name is.

Carl visibly tenses at the sight of them and then even more so when Judith is pulled from his arms by Michonne and she kisses his temple before Rick pulls him in for a tight hug as he strokes his daughter’s hair.

“How are you?” Rick asks his son, keeping a hand on his shoulder as he looks down at him, sensing something is wrong with him and his brows fall together.

Carl nods, avoiding both his and Michonne’s eyes before finally looking up at them. “I actually need to talk to both of you… can we go somewhere?” He asks quietly, fidgeting with his fingers.

Michonne nods. “Of course. Barbara, can you take Judith?” Michonne replies, looking over at the other woman.

She smiles and reaches for the toddler, settling her against her hip. “Sure, we’ll go and see the goats, won’t we?” She begins to talk to the child as she walks in the direction of the animals. 

Rick looks at his son, “Just a second, alright, then we’ll go.” He says and steps away when Carl nods, Paul can see the look over worry pulled over his and Michonne’s faces. Rick steps up to Daryl and the tension in the air between them is so thick, it could be cut with a knife and it makes everyone visibly uncomfortable. “Daryl, what about us? Can we talk later?” He asks quietly, hand twitching like he wants to touch his brother’s shoulder, but ultimately he doesn’t.

Daryl looks up at him from where he had been focused on his feet, and Paul isn’t surprised by the answer that comes out of his mouth. “Where’s Carol?” He grunts, face burning and hands shaking slightly.

Rick sighs heavily and rubs his jaw. “In her room.” He says and he doesn’t even have time to get another word out before Daryl is walking away, crossbow slung over his shoulder and his head ducked.

Paul sighs himself and stares after the other man sadly for a moment before he looks back at the people around him. “Well,” He announces, capturing everyone’s attention as their eyes turn to him. “Siddiq and I need to talk to The King, we’ll see you later.” He says, beginning to walk in the direction where Jerry directs them, petting Carl’s shoulder briefly as he passes him, Siddiq following behind him eagerly.

* * *

Nearly three hours later, Paul is wandering around The Kingdom in search of his smoking buddy, he had finished with Ezekiel and Siddiq hours ago and once he had finished, headed straight the stables with Nabila to groom and prepare the horses for travel in the morning, spending extra time with Echo just because he could.

Right now, he’s stressed and very much in need of a smoke, but Daryl still has his cigarettes and lighter, so he’s searching for him.

He finds him after fifteen minutes, sitting behind a building with his back against the bricks and a lit cigarette already between his fingers.

“Hi.” Paul greets him as he approaches, not hesitating to sit down beside him, accidently knocking against his shoulder for a second before he rights himself. “Been looking for you, need a smoke.” Paul tells him, accepting the pack of cigarettes and lighter that Daryl immediately holds out for him.

“How’d it go with Ezekiel?” Daryl asks once Paul has lit his cigarette and had a few drags.

Paul nods and looks over at the other man with a smile. “Great, he agreed to giving us another horse for you. I just came from the stables, me and Nabila got all the horses ready for floating tomorrow, well as much as we could right now, we’d still need to do more in the morning.” Paul explains to the other man, stretching his legs out in front of him. “As for Siddiq’s plan, Ezekiel agreed to it, so Siddiq won’t be coming back with us, it’s best he does it now while there’s actually people to treat. So, one of Kingdom’s nurses will come back with us tomorrow, he’ll drive the RV back and me and you will drive back in another truck with the horse trailer, we can’t pull it with the RV. Depending on what happens, Carl will come with one of us.” Paul finishes explaining and takes a much wanted drag of his cigarette.

“Sounds like a plan.” Daryl mumbles after a few moments, drumming fingers against his thigh as he stares out at the walls in front of them.

Paul hums in response and neither of them say anything after that.

* * *

It’s another hour later and Paul’s working in the gardens with Ezekiel when Rick finally approaches him, he’s greeted by the gruff clearing of a throat and Paul looks over at him expectantly from where he’s sat pulling weeds from a garden bed. Shiva laying a few meters away from Ezekiel, peacefully sleeping in a patch of sun.

“Guessing you want to talk?” Paul says, pulling out the last couple of weeds before standing up, one of his knees cracking with the effort. 

“Yes, Michonne is waiting.” Rick answers before promptly spinning on his heel and making his way out of the garden.

Paul sighs. “So much for manners.” He mumbles and Ezekiel chuckles, then his face lights up when the door in front of them opens and Carol steps out.

“I’ll see you later, friend.” Ezekiel says to him as he begins to walk away and Paul waves in response.

Paul follows Rick to a gazebo by the horse paddocks and he sits down on the soft couch across from the couple, grabbing for a grape that sits on the coffee table between them and pops it into his mouth. He quirks a brow when the they just stare at him.

It’s Michonne that talks first, she sighs and folds one muscular leg over the other. “Where is Carl sleeping at Hilltop?” She asks.

“Right now, he’s in a small room on the bottom floor, but my old room that I lived in before I moved into the trailer is still empty and he can move in there. It’s much bigger than the one he’s in now and has an ensuite, small balcony too.” Paul replies, it wouldn’t be hard, he’d just need to find the kid some fresh bedding and toiletries.

Michonne nods.

“Carl said he talked to you, but he wasn’t really specific. What did he say to you?” Rick asks, a slight tinge of annoyance in his voice, probably because his son didn’t talk to him first Paul thinks.

Paul sighs, eats another grape and then answers. “Your son came to me, looking for comfort, support and advice, I gave it to him. He told about how much he doesn’t want to be in Alexandria, he says he can’t be there without thinking about what happened with his eye and how Negan humiliated him by forcing him to remove his patch, it’s traumatized him, being at the place where one was traumatized, is asking for bad things to happen.” Paul replies honestly, shrugging his shoulders and waiting for one of them to speak again.

Rick stares at him and Michonne sighs. “Is that all you talked about?” He asks after a moment, scratching the back of his neck and Paul glances to where Michonne is rubbing his knee.

Paul doesn’t answer for a while, and when he does, it’s with a deep sigh and a sad look on his face. “He told me about how feels guilty because he thinks of Michonne as his mother.” He says, looking the slightly surprised looking woman in the eye. “And I had to explain to him that viewing Michonne as his mom, or wanting to call her as such, is not at all a way of replacing Lori, just that it shows he’s moving past his grief.” Rick looks taken back by the mention of his ex-wife and visibly takes a moment to gather himself, Paul decides to continue speaking. “I told him that it’s okay to view more than two people as his parents.” Paul looks down at his lap and sighs before he looks back up again, this time at Rick. “I’m sorry if I overstepped a line, these are conversations you probably would have liked to have with him, but he was upset, I couldn’t not do anything.”

“No, it’s alright.” Rick replies, shaking his head. “Thank you for talking to him, he looks up to you, has pretty much since you first showed up, even said he wants you to teach him your martial art tricks.” He says and all three of them chuckle softly. “It doesn’t surprise me that you’re the one he finally opened up to.”

Paul smiles at him softly. “When we were talking, he looked his age, seemed like an actual kid. It’s just sad that most of the time he’s not.” He sighs.

“He was forced to grow up fast.” Michonne says softly, tucking a lock behind her ear. “We’re aware his mental health isn’t in the best state.” She says softly, and Rick seems to twitch at the words.

Paul’s silent for a long time, but the couple doesn’t push him to speak, they just wait. Finally, he meets Rick’s eyes again. “He’s a lot like I was when I was his age, but I was worse. I was depressed with anger issues and a drinking problem because of trauma, I spent most of my teen years and half of my twenties being an alcoholic and in an awful fucking headspace because I refused to get help…” He trails off for a second and Rick and Michonne listen to him intently, he feels the familiar twinge in his stomach that makes his itch to go and beat the shit out of a punching bag. “Carl is not like that, he came to me and he came to you two. He doesn’t like being where he is, it’s easy to see that but if he doesn’t get better, he’ll get worse.” Paul says softly.

Michonne looks almost teary eyed as she shifts in her seat. “How could it get worse?” She asks softly.

Paul goes quiet again and he really doesn’t want to answer because he hasn’t even talked to Maggie about this stuff but then he remembers the teary-eyed boy who had sat across from him at the picnic table, shyly opening up to him and Paul realizes he needs to do it for his sake. “I resorted to several kinds of self-harm, alcohol was one and cutting was another.” He forces himself to say and then awkwardly clears his throat afterwards, noticing Rick and Michonne visibly stiffen and he wishes he could be literally anywhere else. “And I am sure, that none of us want Carl to get to that point.

“Of course not.” Rick replies, his voice is shaky and he seems almost on the verge of tears, Michonne has gone silent. “How can we help him? Will him not being at Alexandria help?” He asks.

Paul sighs for what feels like the thousandth time and then accepts the water bottle Michonne holds out to him, taking several large gulps before he hands it back. “Alexandria is one of the main sources of his trauma and yes, I think him not being there will absolutely help. Being at The Hilltop, I’ll be around and I probably understand what he’s going through more than anyone at the moment, and I can help him get through it, I have personal experience with this.” He says.

“If you don’t mind me asking, what did you do to help yourself?” Michonne asks softly, still petting Rick’s knee.

Paul sighs. “One day, I was sitting at home nursing a hangover when It came on the news that a father and his four children had been killed by a drunk a driver, leaving behind his pregnant wife. I had never drove drunk, but there were times when I got so drunk I would not have put it past myself to do so. So, I went into my kitchen, grabbed every ounce of alcohol I had and poured it done the sink. That was the start and that was easy, it was the fighting for the three years after that that was hard.” Paul explains, fiddling with his gloved fingers and refusing to look either member of the couple in the eye because he just wants to crawl into a hole, he reminds himself of Carl, and how much he’s like him, and how much Paul wishes he had people to help him.

“How did you fight?” Rick asks.

“I started martial arts, I worked out every day for four hours. Disposed of my anger there, became a black belt in several arts. I also quit my job as a bar tender, got one working at a horse stable instead, I worked as a groom at first but I made a friend and she taught me to ride. I learnt how to shoot a gun, how to track, draw, paint, I learnt four different languages…”

“You filled your time with anything you could.” Michonne says, realising what he’s meaning.

Paul nods. “I can help Carl do that, I’ll teach him martial arts, how to draw, play a guitar or piano, how to track, throw a knife, Daryl can teach him to hunt, Eric can teach him to cook, Aaron can teach him to build, I can teach him to ride.” Paul says enthusiastically, feeling almost excited at the thought of it. “You two need to focus on rebuilding your community, let the rest of your family help you out. Eventually, Carl may want to be back at Alexandria and I seriously doubt he’ll never want to go back there again, he’ll probably happily go for just a few days for visits or you two can come to Hilltop or we can meet here at Kingdom. We have long distant radios that you can speak on and I can keep you updated on.” Paul tells them, the couple’s eyes are watering and their cheeks are red, he understands this must have been an awfully hard conversation to have.

Rick nods and is quiet for a moment, before he sighs and nods. “Okay, we’ll talk to Carl again about what we’ve talked about here, and we’ll let him know he’ll be going back with you tomorrow.” He says, looking over at Paul after a second and managing a smile. “Thank you, this conversation would have been just as hard for you as it was for us, really thank you.” He says, holding out his hand and Paul takes it and shakes firmly.

“How’s Daryl?” Michonne suddenly asks right as Paul’s about to get up and leave, her voice laced with worry and curiosity.

“He’s proving to be an alright roommate, makes a mess of my trailer but he makes up for it because he cooks dinner almost every night.” Paul replies, becoming distracted for a moment by Echo who he can see grazing peacefully in the nearby paddock, rugged up in the red rug Paul had found him months ago but had only just been able to put on because it’s finally cold enough, Paul thinks it compliments the gelding’s black coat nicely.

The couple in front of him seem surprised and just blink at him for several moments.

“He lives with you?” Rick asks.

Paul hums and grabs a handful of grapes. “Yeah, he sleeps on my couch. We really only see each other of a night because we’re both so busy during the day, but we’re scouting and scavenger partners now, we had a test run almost a week ago to see if we could work together, and we can, so…” Paul slowly trails off, aware he’s probably talking too much, so he eats another grape.

“So, he doesn’t seem…” Rick trails off, unsure how to end his sentence.

Paul blinks at him for several seconds before he sighs loudly and rubs his temples for a moment and leans forward with his elbows on his knees. “Doesn’t seem what?” He hisses, and he can feel those little sparks of anger in his chest. “Doesn’t seem traumatized? No he doesn’t seem it because he hides it, because he more than likely thinks it makes him weak. You let the man who tortured him live.” Paul says and is about to keep talking, but he’s suddenly aware of how exhausted he is. “I can’t get into this right now.” He says quietly, standing up and finally leaving the gazebo.


	9. Chapter 9

Paul walks behind the rest of the group, dragging his feet slowly and really hoping that nobody tries to talk to him because after his very draining conversation with Rick and Michonne, he is not at all in the mood for socialising and just wants to get to whatever room he’s staying at and go to sleep.

But of course, a big communal dinner was to be had first and Paul would rather not deal with all the questions as to why he wasn’t there, so he tags a long, with only a small scowl on his face.

They enter the outdoor dining area and the chatter of the residents and guests is immediately heard, some people sitting around at the tables or on the floor eating and others are still at the large tables of food serving themselves.

Ezekiel is sat at his special designated table, a smiling Carol beside him and the other two seats at the table are taken up by Jerry and Henry, the four of them happily engaged in conversation.

The group in front of him heads off towards the buffet table and Paul lags behind, spotting Carl, Michonne and Rick off in a secluded area eating their dinner and talking quietly. Carl’s head is ducked and he seems to be picking at his food more than eating it, and Paul sighs, knowing the kid is probably incredibly uncomfortable.

Paul’s mind begins to wander and he’s taken by surprise when a hand taps his upper arm for a second before it draws away, Daryl appears by his side a moment later.

“Hey,” The man grunts, not looking at Paul but instead looking over at the three fourths of the Grimes family. “How’d talkin’ to Rick and Michonne go?” He asks softly.

Paul sighs, pushing some hair out of his face as he looks at the teenager. “It went well, they completely understood that he needs to get better and they’re letting him come back to The Hilltop with us because they know I can help him.” Paul explains, more slipping from his tongue than he had intended causing him to wince slightly.

He can see Daryl looking at him out of the corner of his eye, Paul glances over at him and can’t place the look on his face. “Okay, it’ll be good to have him around.” He replies, beginning to walk forward towards the food table and motioning for Paul to follow.

Paul nods in agreement and they stack their plates in silence, Paul not taking a lot because he knows he won’t be able to eat much, and he doesn’t want to waste it.

“Are you alright?” Daryl asks awkwardly as they do after several minutes of silence had passed between them.

Paul sighs and nods, finishing collecting food and grabbing some cutlery, then waiting for Daryl. “Yes, it was just quite an exhausting conversation.” He answers, managing to offer the other man a small smile before he begins making his way over to a table, Daryl following behind him.

He finds an empty picnic table and plants himself down on the wooden seat, Daryl sitting down opposite him seconds later.

They eat in silence for a few minutes before Daryl is the one to speak up. “What time are we leaving tomorrow?” Daryl asks, Paul had already told him this morning, but he guesses he had forgotten or was just trying to make conversation.

“Probably around midday again, Carl will want to spend some time with his parents and Judith probably before we go, you with Carol and maybe Rick and Michonne if you decide to talk to them.” Paul says, glancing at the other man through his lashes before popping a small piece of baked potato into his mouth. “We also need to finish getting the horses ready and then load them.”

Daryl doesn’t speak for a few moments, instead chewing his mouthful of food slowly and glancing between the Grimes family and his plate. “Make up my mind overnight.” He eventually grunts.

“Okay.” Paul replies.

* * *

Paul blinks himself awake with a quiet groan, the small window from the sun is shining through the window and right into his eyes. He had retreated straight to his designated room after dinner, he didn’t go to sleep until after midnight but he had laid in bed reading until his eyelids finally felt heavy.

He allows himself to be lazy for a few minutes before he pushes himself up and out of the bed and pulls his coat on, he never ended up changing out of his clothes last night, so he only needs to pack up the few of his belongings that he had taken out of his pack and then head out.

He’s half way through when a quiet knock sounds on his door.

“Come in!” He calls out and the door squeaks open seconds later.

“Hello.” Nabila greets him, shyly taking a few steps into the bedroom. “Are you ready to come sort the horses, I think your group is meant to leave in a couple of hours.”

Paul’s brows furrow and he glances down at his watch, whistling lowly when he reads it as ten-thirty am. “I managed to sleep through the entire morning.” He tells her with a slight smirk as he shakes his head.

She looks surprised for before smiling warmly. “Would you like to stop and get something to eat first?” She asks, stepping to the side as he steps out the door, adjusting his things in his arms.

“No, I’m fine, thank you. I would much rather get the horses ready and then just get back to Hilltop.” He replies with a smile as they begin making their way down the hall.

“Well, alright then.” She replies.

* * *

Paul’s running the brush over Echo’s thickening winter coat when he hears footsteps behind him, he’s at the trailer with Nabila giving the horses a quick groom before beginning to load them up. The horses are all tied along the fence of their former paddock and waiting patiently.

Paul turns around and then smiles softly at the sight of Daryl approaching him cautiously, eyes running over the horses before they land on Paul who has stepped out from behind Echo and is approaching him.

“Good morning.” Paul greets him. 

“Hey.” Daryl replies, adjusting his jacket slightly.

“Did you see Carol?” Paul asks curiously. 

Daryl nods. “Yeah, was with her all morning and then said goodbye to everyone else, Carl’s on his way over too, Ezekiel says Alex already left an hour or so ago with another guy who’s coming down.” He explains.

Paul’s brows furrow and he crosses his arms. “Another guy, I wasn’t aware that somebody else was moving to Hilltop.” He replies and Daryl just shrugs. “Alright, I’ll just have another room sorted for him along with one for Alex and Carl. Did you end up speaking to Rick and Michonne?” He then asks cautiously. 

Daryl’s quiet as well for a moment before he answers. “Went and saw Judith for a while, told them I’d look after their son, didn’t wanna talk about anything else.” He answers, awkwardly scratching his jaw.

Paul nods in understanding. “That’s fair enough, now come on, I’ll introduce you to the horses.” Paul tells him, noticing the tiny quirk of his lips.

“Kay.” Daryl replies.

Paul smiles widely and then steps up to Echo, lifting his hand to scratch behind his eyes and he noses at his armpit in reply. “This is my boy, Echo. He’s a thoroughbred I’m almost certain, he looks like all the other thoroughbreds I’ve worked with.” Paul says, smiling as he strokes his fingers over the small white diamond in the middle of his head.

“He’s massive.” Daryl says with a small smirk, reaching up and petting his hand along Echo’s spine.

Paul nods, Echo’s build is slim as all thoroughbreds’s are, but he’s very tall, standing at almost seventeen hands, just a tiny bit taller than Daryl’s horse. “He is quite tall, it’s a good thing I’m flexible or it would be a fair bit harder for me to get my foot in the stirrup.” He says with a small chuckle and a wink in Daryl’s direction.

Daryl’s cheeks flush slightly and he avoids Paul’s eyes. “Right… You worked with horses before all this you said?” He then asks awkwardly, clearing his throat afterwards, stroking the Echo’s muzzle which is investigating his belly. 

Paul nods and smiles a little sadly. “Yeah, I’ve had a lot of jobs throughout my life, it was the longest lasting one I’d ever had and was the one I had when the outbreak happened. A friend of mine was an English rider at this big fancy stable down in LA, she got me a job working as a stable hand and a groom, eventually I was promoted so I was able to exercise the horses, she taught me how to ride beforehand of course.” He says with a chuckle, smiling fondly at the memory of his friend. “She was really good, competed over the country in dressage but that wasn’t much of an interest to me, it all seemed too difficult. I liked jumping though, and she taught me how to do that.” Paul finishes explaining, looking over at Daryl with a grin. “So, I was working there and riding for just over six years, I never owned my own horse though.”

Daryl listens intensely to every word, the tiniest of smiles ghosting over his lips as he listens. “I rode as a kid and teenager. My grandfather lived on a cattle ranch with my uncle, so they had some horses to manage their cattle herd. My grandfather taught me to ride and my uncle taught me to hunt.” Daryl says, purposely avoiding Paul’s eyes now that he’s the one speaking and now it’s Paul’s turn to listen.

And he does, hanging onto every word the man says because this is the first time Daryl has opened up and told him something personal about his life before the outbreak, and he’s glad the other man trusts him with it.

“Doesn’t sound like a bad deal.” He says with a smile, and Daryl hums quietly in response. “Well, would you like to meet the rest of the horses?” Paul asks a moment later, smiling brightly.

Daryl nods and follows Paul as he walks around the horse.

“So,” Paul says, stepping up to the horse a few metres down from Echo, Eduardo’s horse. “This is Atticus,” He says petting the quarter horse’s buckskin coat, he’s a significant amount smaller than Echo but still a fine height for Eduardo to ride. “He’s Eduardo’s horse.” Paul says, allowing the gelding to nip at his fingers in search of food that he doesn’t have. “Next,” Paul says and they both walk around the horse once again to the next one, another quarter horse but with a black and white paint coat. “This is Ivory, this is Enid’s horse but I’m sure Carl will ride her just as much.” He says.

“Can Enid ride?” Daryl asks curiously as he strokes her pretty coat.

Paul nods. “Yeah, she told me she had been having lessons for a couple of years before the outbreak, I’m going to teach Carl however.” Paul explains, once again stepping away from the horse and around him to the next horse tied beside him, a pretty chestnut mare with a white stripe down her face. “This is Poppy, she’s the mare that will be shared around the community, so Carl will probably ride her when Ivory’s busy.” Paul says, eyes lighting up when Daryl smiles when the mare sniffs at his hands.

“Have you even asked Carl if he wants to learn yet?” Daryl asks after a moment, a brow quirked and a tiny smirk on his face.

Paul chuckles softly, and he can hear Nabila do the same from where she’s grooming Daryl’s horse just beside them. “No, I haven’t but I’m sure he’d like to, especially if it means he can go on rides with me out to check traps and such, or dates with Enid.” Paul replies, then taking Daryl’s elbow.

“That is true.” Daryl replies as he willingly follows Paul.

“Now,” Paul says, coming to a stop by Nabila in front of Daryl’s horse. “This pretty boy is yours, his name is Kimber.” Paul introduces the horse to Daryl, stroking his shoulder so Daryl is able to make his way to the gelding’s head and greet him, and he does just that. Kimber is 16.2 hands, just shorter than Echo, and his coat is a gorgeous dapple grey with a dark grey mane, and a tail with dark grey on the top that blends down into white. He also has a small scar above his left eye.

Paul watches as Daryl pets Kimber’s face gently and allows him to sniff at his hands, a small smile on his face.

Nabila steps around from the other side of the horse and holds out the body brush she had been using on the gelding. “Would you like to take over?” She asks sweetly, smiling brightly when Daryl nods and takes the brush from her.

“They all going to fit in that trailer?” Daryl asks after a few moments, surely just to try and take the focus off him.

Paul nods, glancing at the very large trailer. “Yes, it has six stalls and plenty of storage for everything else we need to cart back.” Paul replies and Daryl nods in understanding. “Well, Nabila and I will leave you to bond with this guy and me and we’ll go rug up the other horses so they can be loaded up.” Paul says, both of them stepping away when Daryl nods.

* * *

Two hours later, Paul, Maggie, Daryl, Carl, Enid and Eduardo are settling the horses into the stables, removing rugs and walking them around the community for a few minutes to allow them to stretch their legs after being in the trailer and to also greet the other members of the community.

After putting the horses in the stalls, they proceeded unpack all of their supplies, placing tack and grooming supplies in the tack boxes of their respective horses and they used one of the last two unused stalls to stack bales of hay, the large bags of grain, oats and pellets and they had moved an old table in, so they could organise some of the other items.

He's stacking some boxes of supplements on top of each other when he feels the hand of the person that had walked into the stall with him a few moments ago land on his waist. The hand squeezes once before moving closer around his body and on top of his abs over his button up, a warm body stepping up beside him and Paul hums softly when a gentle kiss is pressed against the back of his neck which is exposed due to his messy bun.

“You alright? Seems like you’ve had a rough couple of days.” Eduardo asks him quietly, keeping their conversation quiet so the others who are still with the horses cannot hear them.

Paul sighs softly and turns around, the hand slipping from his abs and holding his hip instead as Paul leans back against the old wooden table. “Just long.” Paul replies, glancing the handsome Hispanic man up and down, settling on pink lips for a few seconds before finally looking up to meet brown eyes.

“Well,” Eduardo says with a small grin, squeezing Paul’s hip again and reaching up to push a strand of hair behind Paul’s ear and Paul kisses his palm in return. “I think we are long overdue for letting off some steam.”

Paul nods in agreement and is tempted to kiss the other man right there just to wipe that grin off his face, but Eduardo isn’t out as bisexual and his and Paul’s relations stay in the privacy of one their trailers or in places like this where they know nobody can see them.

“Yes, I think so.” He says, smirking a little himself. “I’m taking Echo out for a ride now, but I’ll find you later, yeah?” Paul says and when Eduardo nods with a smile, Paul pats his cheek and then his butt as he leaves the stall.

* * *

Three hours later, Paul’s groaning against plump lips as he comes, slowing down the roll of his hips. The room smells like sex and sweat, and Paul loves it.

Once he’s come down, he leans back up to look down at a flushed Eduardo who’s panting and smiling softly, flushed from his chest all the way to his cheeks and his softening cock is squashed between their stomachs. Paul kisses him again gently as he pulls out of his warm body, rolling off him afterwards and pulling off his condom to knot the end and then toss it into the small bin beside his bed.

Daryl’s out hunting and left only just before Paul got back from his ride, but Kal was back in his and Eduardo’s trailer, so Paul and Eduardo agreed to meet at his trailer instead.

Paul lays down flat on his back and sighs, satisfied. “You can stay for a bit if you want?” Paul offers as he closes his eyes, personally he doesn’t mind whether or not Eduardo leaves or stays but he knows the younger man likes to cuddle.

Eduardo hums in appreciation and rolls over, wrapping an arm over Paul’s stomach and settling with his head against his shoulder. “Thanks.” He mumbles, closing his eyes.

* * *

Paul’s startled awake by a loud noise, shooting up in the bed and pulling his knife from under his pillow out of instinct.

Very quickly he becomes aware of what had happened, he and Eduardo had fallen asleep and now Daryl is standing just inside the doorway of the trailer, hands holding his game bag and crossbow frozen, brows raised and eyes widened, lips slightly parted and his face flushed a deep red, pure shock and embarrassment on his face.

Paul lowers his knife, and an also awake Eduardo sits up beside him, careful to make sure the duvet stays covering the lower half of his and Paul’s body.

“What’s happ- oh shit.” The younger man says, eyes widen and scrambling in the bed for a moment, pulling covers higher over himself and staring at Daryl with a face full of nerves.

Daryl, who still looks like a deer in headlights, suddenly snaps out of it and stutters a couple of times. “Sorry!” He manages to get out before hurriedly dumping his belongings onto the dining table and then rushing into the bathroom, slamming the door closed behind him.

Paul sighs, running his hands over his face. He hadn’t exactly been planning on coming out to Daryl by having him find him naked in bed with his fuck buddy, but it doesn’t seem that he has another option.

“I’m sorry.” Paul whispers, looking at Eduardo who’s starting to crawl out of the bed. “I didn’t mean to go to sleep, I knew he’d be coming back at some point. I fucking forgot to lock the door as well.” He sighs, standing up as well and finding his boxers on the floor, pulling them on as Eduardo does the same with his own clothes.

Eduardo shakes his head as he pulls up his jeans. “It’s just as much my fault as it is yours, you’re the one who’s about to have a really awkward conversation, so I think you’ve got it worse.” He says with a smirk, but Paul can still see the nerves and uncomfortableness radiating from him. 

Paul chuckles himself. “I’ll tell him not to tell anybody, not that he would anyway, but I’ll make sure for your peace of mind.” He says to the younger man, smiling softly at him and petting his bicep as he leans forward to kiss him quickly.

Eduardo smiles at him and then reaches for his last item of clothing, his jacket that’s slung over the chair. “Thank you, well, I’ll um leave you to it, you can come talk to me if you need to.” He tells Paul.

“Thank you.” Paul says, petting the man’s butt again when he turns around and he watches him step out of the trailer door and closes the door behind him.

Paul sighs again, runs a hand through his sex and sleep messed-up hair and pulls it into a knot before pulling on his button up and doing up a couple of buttons at the bottom, he’s about to call out to Daryl who he knows is just camping in the bathroom because there has been no water running or a toilet flushing, but he has a second thought and heads over to the trashcan. He reaches for his used condom and grabs a tissue from his desk, wrapping the condom in the tissue before placing it back into the trashcan because he knows Daryl also uses the trashcan.

“Daryl!” He calls out, sitting down on the bed and placing his hands in his lap. “You can come out.”

It’s almost a full minute before the squeaking door opens and Daryl steps back into the main area of the trailer, bangs hanging heavily in front of his eyes and his hands hanging awkwardly by his sides.

“I’m sorry, didn’t think to knock.” Daryl mumbles after a few moments, refusing to look at Paul but Paul can still spot the redness of his face.

Paul quickly shakes his head. “Don’t be sorry, this is your trailer too Daryl, I don’t expect you to knock every time you come in. I just forgot to lock the door beforehand.” He says, smiling at the other man softly but he of course isn’t looking at him.

Daryl nods awkwardly.

Paul sighs again and crosses a leg under himself. “Hey, I’m openly gay to anyone who asks and it doesn’t bother me, but Eduardo hasn’t come out as bisexual, so we’d both appreciate if you didn’t mention this to anyone.” He says to the other man, almost surprised when he looks up at him.

Daryl nods and fiddles with his hands. “Yeah, course. Ain’t one for gossiping.” He replies.

Paul laughs softly and shakes his head, watching Daryl who has once again begun refusing to look at him, looking down at his hands with a blank look on his face. “Didn’t know you two were together, how long?” He says quietly, and Paul’s brows furrow at the tone of his voice.

Paul clears his throat. “Um, we’re not together.” He tells the other man, feeling a very strange and very strong need to make sure it’s verified. “We’re friends with benefits, no romantic feelings at all, just sex from time to time.” He explains, feeling his own cheeks heat up and he shifts uncomfortably. 

“Oh.” Daryl replies quietly, still standing awkwardly by the bathroom door. They’re both silent for almost minute before Daryl speaks up again. “Ain’t got a problem with it… You bein’ gay.” He tells him, glancing up at him through his bangs.

Paul’s lips spread in a smile and his heart fills with fondness for the other man. “I know but thank you.” He replies, he stands up from his messy bed and pulls out his pajamas from under his pillow before stepping up to the other man, he grabs his bicep and squeezes in appreciation (but also takes note of how nice of a bicep it is) before stepping past him again and towards the bathroom. “I’m going to have a shower, I’ll see you in a bit.” He says.

Daryl nods and finally moved, grabbing his game bag from the table. “I’ll get started on dinner.” He says.

Paul smiles and steps into the bathroom, he locks the door behind him and proceeds to pull off his clothes for the second time that afternoon. He steps up to look at himself in the mirror and groans at the sight of the large purple and red hickey on his collarbone, he’ll have fun hiding that for the next week or so. 

The evening goes smoothly after that, Paul showers, they eat dinner while chatting about the horses along with other things, then Daryl showers and afterwards they settle down, Daryl reads and Paul sketches.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING!!!  
> Paul explains to Daryl how he ended up in the group home, in the story includes: PTSD, a psychotic break, two murders - one of a child and suicide. Childhood abuse and alcoholism are also mentioned.

Paul’s sitting down on his bed, enjoying a quiet moment reading while Daryl’s off hunting somewhere and Maggie’s taking a nap.

Sighing, he looks around his trailer for a few moments and after two months, it finally looks like he doesn’t live here alone.

The couch has blankets and pillows stacked messily on top of it, there’s now a hook on the wall beside his couch for Daryl to safely hang his crossbow and game bag on, under the crossbow hook Paul had placed a small nightstand a few weeks ago so Daryl would have some proper storage for his belongings other than just sitting them on the floor. It has a small lamp on top as well as a few stacked books and there’s two drawers, but Paul doesn’t know what’s in those because he of course, doesn’t snoop.

If someone were to open Paul’s dresser drawers or small wardrobe they would find Daryl’s clothes also stuffed into them now, and they accidently find themselves wearing each other’s clothes more often than not.

He becomes bored of his book after a while and dog ears the page he’s on before closing it and placing it down on the bed. He stands up from the soft mattress and stretches, cracking his neck and knuckles before pulling his boots on and exiting the trailer.

He spends a few minutes chatting to Alex and Wes who were sitting down having lunch at one of the picnic tables. Though things are definitely still awkward, Alex seems to have gotten past the resentment he held towards Paul for the messy end to their relationship. He seems happy with Wes and Paul’s glad to see it, he thinks that him being in a new relationship is what’s helping him forgive Paul and attempt to be able to go back to a friend status with him. Paul’s glad.

He’s making his way to see Maggie when Daryl comes up to him hurriedly, face sweating and a little panicked.

“Hi, didn’t know you were back. What’s the matter?” Paul replies, furrowing his brows in concern as he looks at his friend.

Daryl sighs, nodding his head towards Barrington House and urging Paul to follow him. “Carl’s kind of… Having a moment.” Daryl answers him as they enter the building. “He’s down in the basement, really upset, takin’ it out on a punchin’ bag.” Daryl answers him.

Paul’s gut churns with worry as they make their way down the brightly lit hall to the door that leads them down into the basement of the house that’s used as a gym and training room and also storage. 

It’s only been just over a month since Carl confided in Paul, so he of course Carl’s mental health isn’t magically better, but he’s been opening up to Paul more and seems mostly comfortable when he does, just a bit embarrassed at moments.

Paul’s somehow managed to develop a strong friendship with the boy over that time, and Paul’s slightly frightened by it because he’s now another person that has wormed his way into his heart and made him genuinely care about them. Alex, Eduardo, Maggie and her unborn child, Sasha, Enid, Daryl and now Carl. And he knows that there’s others that are pretty damn close.

Losing Sasha had fucking hurt him, it was the first time he had felt that kind of pain in a long time, and he’s still not completely over it. He still puts fresh flowers on her grave every couple of days, of course doing the same with Abraham’s, Glenn’s, Carson’s (who’s body had been retrieved a few weeks ago), Andy’s and all the other residents that had been lost during the war.

As they walk down the creaky wooden steps into the basement, a thumping noise can be heard along with Carl’s sobs and swears. Getting lower on the stairs, Paul’s able to see him, the boy is repeatedly hitting the heavy punching bag with his fists, his fingers and wrists hitting it at awkward angles that could easily break them and Paul winces at the sight.

Paul steps down onto the concrete floor, motioning for Daryl to stay where he is as he cautiously makes his way over to the boy. “Carl.” He says softly but loud enough to be heard, when there’s no response from the boy he takes another couple of steps and gently touches his rapidly moving shoulders. “Carl,” He repeats. “That’s enough, you’re going to hurt yourself even more.” Paul says, glancing at his bloody knuckles and fingers.

Carl shakes underneath Paul’s hand and doesn’t stop, letting out a cry and launching at the punching bag again. “Fuck you!” He screams.

Paul sighs and in a second, has reached around Carl’s body, grabbed his wrists and pulled them behind his back, Carl swears again and struggles against Paul for around half a minute, swearing at him the entire time and Paul can see Daryl nervously shifting out of the corner of his eyes.

Carl finally stops struggling and allows Paul to lower him to the ground, sobbing softly as he does. His knees curl up and before the boy slumps back against Paul, his back to his chest for only a few seconds before he turns around completely and wraps his arms around Paul’s waist and buries his face into his shoulder. 

Paul’s frozen for several moments before cautiously wrapping his arm around Carl’s back and petting his hair with the other’s hand, closing his eyes at the sound of the boy’s muffled sobs in the material of his shirt.

Paul looks up after a moment, finding a somewhat stunned Daryl still standing by the stairs, hands hovering awkwardly and nervously chewing at his lip. “Can you go to the med trailer and grab something to clean his hands up and wrap them?” Paul asks him and the man quickly nods before spinning on his heels and making his way back up the stairs.

* * *

Fifteen minutes later, Daryl’s sitting on last step of the stairs, Carl’s sitting with crossed legs and his back against the cool brick wall and Paul’s in front of him, the boy’s hands resting on his thighs as Paul gently cleans the wounds on his knuckles.

“What happened?” Paul asks quietly, but still loud enough that the other two people in the room are able to hear him.

Carl doesn’t answer for a while, only doing so when Paul raises his brows expectantly. “Was just thinking about stuff, got mad.” He answers, cheeks flushing deeply, and he looks down embarrassed.

Paul daps some blood off pale skin and briefly glances over at Daryl, finding the other man already looking at him with furrowed brows and a face full of worry. The share a look for several moments before Paul turns back to Carl. 

“What were you thinking about, Carl?” He asks quietly.

“Ron.” Carl answers after a while. “What he did to me, what he was going to do to my dad.” Carl sighs and drops his head, voice cracking slightly as he allows his hair to fall in front of his eye and patch. “We had sorted out our differences, I thought I could fucking trust him!” Carl says, voice raising and he relaxes to take a few deep breaths when Paul squeezes his shoulder for a few seconds before reaching for the bandage roll that Daryl had brought and he begins wrapping it around hands that are small compared to his own.

“Carl, I know it fucking hurts to be betrayed by someone you trust or love, and it will for a long time, but it will stop being the most present thing you feel.” Paul tells him, finishing wrapping his hand and then squeezing his palm in a way that’s asking the boy to look at him, and he does. “I’m never going to lie to you, I’m not going to tell you that one day you’re going to wake up and everything’s going to be fine.” Paul starts, swallowing a lump in his throat and forcing himself to remain looking at the teen. “It may stop hurting eventually, or it may never stop completely and if that’s the case it will lessen.”

Carl looks at him with watering eyes. “How do you know?” He asks softly, wiping at his eyes furiously.

Paul sighs, glancing over at Daryl for just a second, hoping he’ll be getting something out of hearing this conversation as well. “Because twenty-eight years ago, when I was eight, I was fucking hurt by someone I loved.” Paul starts, his cheeks heating up and his eyes watering just slightly. He feels his gut churn at the words he has and is about to speak in front of Carl and Daryl. “And it still fucking hurts, and I know it will never stop. But it doesn’t make me feel broken anymore, it is nowhere near as painful as it used to be, and I have grieved, and I have got on with my life but I have never forgotten.” Paul tells him, aware Daryl is listening to every word he says from where he sits behind him. Paul takes a deep breath when he finishes talking and Carl just blinks at him for several moments.

“What happened?” Carl asks softly, glancing at Paul before looking back at his sweaty hands.

Paul shakes his head and shifts uncomfortably before reaching over and grasping the boy’s shoulder. “You don’t need to know.” Paul tells him, not wanting to subject his young mind that already knows so much vile to it. “You don’t need to know to trust me, okay?” 

The room is silent for several moments before Carl nods. “Okay.” He says softly. “Thank you.” He adds a moment later.

Paul manages to smile softly. “It’s okay, why don’t you go and try and cool off a bit more, yeah? Have a shower and a nap. And when you’re hands have healed, I’ll teach you how to properly use a punching bag.” Paul tells him, standing up and then holding his hand out for the young boy to take and Paul pulls him up.

Carl nods again, clears his throat awkwardly and then slowly makes his way out of the room, Daryl petting his calf as he passes him. 

Paul sighs loudly once he’s left and rubs his hands over his face vigorously several times before he looks over at Daryl. “I need to get out for a while, okay?” He tells him quietly, avoiding his eyes and making his way to the stairs. “I’m taking Echo out, I’ll see you tonight.” He tells the man as he passes him, squeezing his shoulder for a moment.

* * *

Paul finally returns to the trailer at a little past nine at night, he had made his way back inside the walls several hours earlier but he spent an hour grooming Echo after their ride and he then went to have a meeting with Maggie and ended up passing out on her couch for another hour.

Stepping up to the trailer, he finds Daryl sitting on the roof, looking out into the darkness.

“Mind if I join you?” Paul calls out to him, climbing up when Daryl motions for him to do so. He settles beside Daryl with his legs over the edge with a soft grunt. 

“I checked on Carl a while ago, he was still asleep.” Daryl tells Paul quietly, taking a deep drag of his cigarette afterwards and then holding it out for Paul to take.

Paul nods his thanks and accepts the cigarette, placing it between his fingers and inhaling deeply, closing his eyes for several moments.

“It’s good he’s been able to sleep, he told me that he actually manages to get to sleep pretty easily, it’s just the nightmares that bother him.” He says softly, taking another drag.

Daryl nods in understanding. “Think nowadays everyone gets them.” He says, glancing over at Paul nervously. “I don’t think you remember what happened the other night.”

Paul’s brows furrow and he looks over at the other man. “What are you talking about?” He says, the tone of his voice demanding.

Daryl looks taken back for a second and he looks away again. “Couple’o nights ago, came back from watch in the early morning ‘n found you rolling around on the bed covered in sweat ‘n crying, saying stuff I couldn’t understand.” The man explains, and Paul quickly becomes mortified, he remembered the nightmare when he woke up in the morning but he had no idea Daryl had seen him endure it. “I woke you up and you looked at me for a bit, said something and then fell back asleep.” Daryl finishes, fiddling with his hands and then grabbing the bottle of whiskey that sits beside him on the roof, taking a swig and holding it out to Paul.

Paul shakes his head, stomach swirling and a lump in his throat out of pure embarrassment of Daryl seeing him in that kind of state. “I don’t drink.” He says. 

“Kay.” Daryl replies, taking one more small drink before screwing the lid back on and placing it down. 

They’re silent for several moments as they smoke before Paul swallows the lump in his throat and looks over at the other man. “You said I said something when I woke up, what was it?” He asks.

Daryl looks over at him, their eyes meeting and the man blinks at him for several seconds before sighing deeply. “You said, ‘he took Rosie and momma’ and then went back to sleep.” He answers quietly, keeping his eyes on Paul.

Paul nods and looks away again, hating the sting in his eyes.

The silence stretches on for several minutes, somewhere around five Paul thinks.

After taking a deep breath and motioning for another cigarette, he speaks. “When Carl first talked to me, he asked if I was a therapist before all this. I told him no, but I had grown up in a group home where I often comforted and talked to the other kids about their problems.” He begins, seeing Daryl’s head move to face him out of the corner of his eye. “He just doesn’t need to know why I ended up there, his mind doesn’t need to be exposed to that.” He says, pulling a knee to his chest and sighing, he looks over at Daryl and gives him a small smile. “You can ask.” He tells the other man, thinking that right now, he wouldn’t mind talking about it.

Also, he really wants Daryl to open up to him so Paul can get to know him more. He figures that if he opens up to the other man and shows that he trusts him, Daryl will see that he can do the same. 

Daryl holds their eye-contact, blinking at him with a soft expression on his face. “What happened?” He asks quietly after observing Paul for a while, as if making sure that Paul was certain.

Paul gives him a tiny smile before moving back look up at the stars above them. “My father, Edmond, was a marine, had served many tours, he was a good man, a hero.” Paul begins, stomach churning slightly at the sound of his father’s name coming from his mouth. “He returned from his final tour when I was seven and my little sister Rosalie, Rosie or Rose for short, was three. I remember him being different when he came back. He was diagnosed with severe PTSD about six months after he came back.” He lips turn up in a small smile as he thinks about Rosie, he remembers that she was the happiest child he had ever met, always smiling and laughing and the spitting image of his mother apart from bouncing red curls. “About a year after he returned from his tour and I was eight and Rosie was four, he had a severe psychotic break due to his PTSD that he was refusing to take his meds for.” Paul’s voice breaks now, and he clears his throat, willing himself to not cry but he can feel his heart aching.

He jumps when a hand lands on his knee. “Paul,” Daryl says softly but Paul refuses to look at Daryl, clenching his hands so hard that his blunt nails harshly dig into the skin of his hands.

“During the psychotic break, I wasn’t at home I was at a friend’s house.” Paul continues, wanting to get through it. “His mom dropped me home at about six in the evening, I went inside, I found my mom, dad and sister dead.” His voice wobbles slightly and somewhere in the back of his mind he realises that Daryl is only the third person he has shared this information with, the first being Luciana his equestrian friend from before the outbreak and then Maggie just a few weeks ago. “My father had stabbed my mom and Rosie over twenty times each, and then shot himself. I had no family, so the only option was for me to be put in the system. I was never adopted, so I was raised in group homes until I was legally able to live on my own when I was eighteen.” He finishes pushing the words from his lips and goes quiet, taking a very deep drag from his cigarette that had been slowly burning out, relief flooding through him when the urge to cry quickly fades.

“I lost my mom when I was eight and my brother about a year after the outbreak.” Daryl says quietly a few moments later. “My ma was an alcoholic, fell asleep drunk with a cigarette in hand and lit the house on fire, she didn’t even get out of the couch, never woke up. Burned alive. Was just me and my dad after that, Merle, my brother, joined the military a few weeks after her funeral.”

“What was your dad like?” Paul asks cautiously, already knowing that he was an awful man but wanting Daryl to open up to him more. Nobody had ever told him what Daryl’s life was like before the outbreak, but it was not hard for someone like Paul to realise it had not been great and he’s seen how often the man flinches, seen hints of scars on his back when his tank top that he wears in the trailer shifts, Paul has no doubt that the man was abused as a child, he recognises the symptoms of it that he used to see all the time in the children in the group homes.

Daryl grunts, blowing out a lungful of smoke before he answers. “He was a mean piece of shit. Raised myself, ‘cause he didn’t give any more of a shit than my mom did.” His voice is raspy and full of anger and it puts pain in Paul’s gut.

* * *

Paul’s not sure how it happened, who shifted closer first, but ten minutes later they’re sitting with their sides completely pressed against each other, sharing a cigarette with their arms resting along their thighs and pressed together right up to the wrists with Paul’s second knuckles rubbing against the back of Daryl’s hand in a comforting gesture.

They stay like that until close to midnight before they make their way inside, Paul goes for a shower and Daryl makes his way to the couch. 

When Paul comes out, he finds Daryl sitting up on the old green couch, fiddling with something in his hands. He looks up when Paul enters and Paul smiles fondly when he’s given a shy smile.

“Found this on our last run,” Daryl says, holding something out towards Paul. “Forgot to give it to you.”

Paul accepts the item and his smile widens as he reads the print on the front of the steel tin: _Ten quality led sketch pencils. Eraser and sharpener included._

“Thank you.” He says softly, glancing back down at the tin after a while and reading it once more.

“Ain’t nothing.” Daryl replies humbly.

Paul chuckles softly as he places the tin down on the round dining table before stepping over to his dresser, he grabs his sketchbook off the top before making his way back to the table and drops himself down into the wooden chair.

Almost without his knowing, Paul’s hand begins to sketch the form of Daryl comfortably resting on the couch and a thick, worn book held open his hands.


	11. Chapter 11

The sound of four thundering hooves is rhythmic and pleasant to Paul’s ears. He’s leant forward in the saddle, keeping the reins loose and allowing Echo his head as they gallop across an open field just an hour through the woods. Paul’s hair is whipping behind him and he has a smile spread on his lips, he thinks that this may be one of his favorite feelings. 

Daryl and Kimber are beside him, the backpack Daryl’s carrying jolting but he doesn’t seem to mind in the slightest. He looks over at Paul and they share a smirk and in an unspoken agreement, kick their horses up faster to see who can reach the large log a bit before the tree line the fastest. 

Paul wins, as he usually does.

After they slow the horses down, they dismount and tether them to branches of the fallen tree as they sit themselves down with their backs against the trunks.

“Maybe one day you’ll win.” Paul tells him with a smirk. 

Daryl rolls his eyes and shoves his elbow into Paul’s side as he unzips his backpack. “Asshole.” He grunts, pulling out Paul’s green water bottle and handing it to him.

Paul chuckles and unscrews the cap, taking several sips and watching Daryl do the same.

The air’s cold and they’re both wearing several layers to attempt to keep themselves warm but it’s the beginning of December now, three months since the war and it’s cold. Paul’s expecting the first snow to fall soon, so in the past couple of months he and Daryl have squeezing in as many runs and scouting trips as they possibly can before it’s too dangerous to drive on certain roads. They have the communities as best they can right now and Paul thinks they’ll get through the winter just fine.

Building will be able to continue throughout the winter as well, as long as they have people to regularly clear the snow. Paul just wishes their community was bigger, that they had more people. Throughout all his and Daryl’s trips, they hadn’t found any people but maybe right now it’s the supplies that are more important.

“So,” Paul says after a few minutes of silence, shifting his position to stretch his legs. “Are you planning on talking to Rick today?” He asks.

It’s been a month since Paul had had his talk with Rick and Michonne and the pair were only just able to get to The Hilltop three days ago. Both Maggie and Daryl have been refusing to talk to them but both Paul and Daryl had talked to Maggie and she says she wants to have a meeting with them, and Rick and Michonne before they leave in two more days. 

Alexandrians have officially moved back to Alexandria and are staying in the few houses that don’t need to be rebuilt and outside in tents. The rebuilding is going well according to reports and they think it will be up and running almost back to normal by the end of winter. Volunteers from Oceanside and The Kingdom have also gone to help as many Alexandrians are wounded.

Right now, the biggest problem between all the communities is a lack of people and once the winter is over, finding new people will become one of the biggest priorities for the scouts.

Daryl shakes his head, now munching on an apple he had pulled from the backpack, holding another one out for Paul. “Will when he have the meeting but before that… I feel like I can barely fucking look at him.” He sighs, looking down at his hands. 

“You have every right to be mad at Rick and Michonne, okay? You know that don’t you?” Paul tells him.

Daryl sighs again. “I just can’t get past it, that they let him live after everyone he killed… after what he did to me.” He adds quietly, shifting uncomfortably.

Paul reaches over cautiously and places a hand on the man’s bent knee, “I want you to know, that Negan is not going to fucking live.” He tells the man, almost feeling the anger trembling in his hands at the sight of the man in front of him who is showing some cracks that peak into how broken and traumatized he is, something he very rarely lets Paul see. “No matter what decision Rick and Michonne come to, if they won’t kill him, I will. You and Maggie whoever else was hurt by him, deserves fucking justice and I will give it to you if they can’t see they should.” He finishes, his and Daryl’s eyes locked together, and he doesn’t comment on how Daryl’s are slightly shiny.

Daryl’s silent for a while before he answers. “You’ll be punished for that, you’ll take the place in his cell.” He says, his blue eyes flickering over Paul’s face before meeting his eyes again.

Paul smiles softly and squeezes his knee. “Do you really think they would be able to lock me up? Please, they could put in handcuffs and I’d be out within twenty seconds.” He says to the other man, hopefully as a form of reassurance and also a way to lighten the mood.

It seems to work as Daryl smirks and nudges Paul with his elbow again. “Mm, damn ninja. We can harbor your ass in an old cabin I found in the woods last week.” He tells him.

Paul quirks a brow. “Not a bad idea, tell me where it is.” Paul says, already beginning to piece together the rough draft of a plan in his mind.

Daryl chuckles. “I can show you before we go back, take us about four hours out of our way, though. Get there from here and then back to Hilltop.” He explains, taking a bite of his apple.

Paul nods in agreement. “We’ll finish these and then we can go.” He says, motioning to their apples. His hand still on Daryl’s knee.

* * *

They arrive back at The Hilltop in the early afternoon after visiting the cabin. It was small, only two rooms, a non-functional bathroom and then everything else was shoved into one room. A queen bed, a tiny pullout couch, a non-functional kitchen, a small table and two rocky chairs and one small dresser.

Paul could definitely be hiding out there for however long was needed and nobody would know where he was, except for Daryl because the other man hasn’t told anyone he found it. It’s deep in the woods, three hours from The Hilltop, four from The Kingdom and three again from Alexandria, and it’s in a tiny clearing with a river that needs to be crossed to get to it, which is easy on the horses but if someone was on foot they would get wet about hallway up their shins, or there’s a log across it that can be walked across, which Paul would do.

Perhaps the best part about it is that it has a very old shelter and small pen, Paul wouldn’t trust the shelter as it looks quite old and could fall apart at any moment, but the pen’s fences are steady so he’d be able to keep Echo safely in it. It’s only a few meters from the cabin so he could hear if Echo became distressed at any point.

Paul already has a good idea of a plan, and Daryl’s agreeing with him but obviously still nervous about the idea of Paul being caught.

They’re back at The Hilltop and all of one and a half hours before Maggie finds them, they had been finishing up rugging the horses and putting them in their stalls when she approached them, telling them that she had just had someone send for Rick and Michonne to be told to go for her office.

Daryl and Paul share a look and Paul pets the back of Daryl’s arm for a second as they begin to make their way into Barrington House.

* * *

The tension in the room is thick as everyone settles in Maggie’s office, Maggie behind her desk, Daryl and Paul sitting in the uncomfortable elegant chairs beside each other, slightly facing Maggie’s desk and slightly facing the other two chairs opposite them that Rick and Michonne are occupying.

“So,” Maggie says, shifting in her seat and looking very intimidating as she folds her fingers together on top of the desk in front of her and looks at Rick and Michonne. “You told me, you were going to be the one following me, you didn’t.” She says, her hard gaze not faltering as Rick shifts in his seat slightly. “Instead, the both of you directly betrayed me, Daryl and countless others by letting Negan live.” 

“Betrayed?” Rick says, voice sounded a little surprised by the strength of the word, “We’re attempting to create a better future that isn’t all about death, would you really go as far as calling that attempt betrayal?”

“Yes, she would and so would I, and so would Daryl.” Paul says, feeling the anger of what he really wants to say sitting behind his teeth. “Because that’s what it is. How dare you just suddenly make that decision to satisfy your own fucking need and rip justice from others in the process.” He snarls at the other man, leaning forward in his seat and boring his eyes right into Rick’s own, who is slowly becoming more intimidated.

Paul’s annoyed at himself for how angry he’s getting, usually his anger is something he’s good at controlling. It had been a whole part of his recovering back when he realised that he needed to fix his problems, he was twenty-five when he first poured the alcohol down the sink and started to fix himself.

Maggie watches him as he speaks and Paul wasn’t planning on stopping his rant yet, but there’s a slight tug on his jacket from Daryl beside him, so he stops, turning to look at the other man with an apologetic smile.

Michonne clears her throat, “Can we please speak civilly?” She offers, looking at Paul and giving him a soft nod in which Paul understands is not an insult or a sign of anger but really, her just hoping their able to sort this between them.

Paul doesn’t reply but he sits back in his seat with a sigh. His elbow jabbing into Daryl’s side accidently and Paul briefly pets his knee in apology before crossing one leg over the other and taking a deep breath. Rick watches the movements.

Maggie watches him for another moment before turning back to Rick. “That night in the woods, when I was in agony, fearing for my child’s life and my husband, the father of my child was mutilated and dead on the ground, along with another member of our family, you said to Negan that you would kill him.” Her breath hitches a few times as she speaks but she stays strong, keeping her gaze strong. “Why did you suddenly change your mind?”

Rick takes several moments to reply, shifting in his seat and reaching for Michonne’s hand, which she happily lets him take. “For years now, we have been living a life of constant death. We have to create a better future, for us and for our children here now and the ones to come in the future, one where there is options other than death. We need to start a new beginning Maggie, to take similarities from the old world but to make sure it will work for this one.”

“Death penalty existed in the old world didn’t it, Rick?” Daryl grunts, speaking for the first time since he had Paul had left the stables.

Rick looks at him and the tension thickens. “So did cells, Daryl.” He says, softly and not in a way as to sound like an asshole but in a way he hopes Daryl will stay calm. “And that’s what’s happening right now, cells are being built in Alexandria, underground ones and Negan will be put there and he won’t see the light of day. He’ll spend the rest of his life in a tiny cell with nothing but a bed and a bathroom. He’ll barely live a life at all.”

Maggie is stiff as she shifts in her seat. “Why should he get any life at all when Glenn doesn’t? When Abraham doesn’t? Sasha, Carson and his brother, and everyone else who died as a result of him?” She replies, leaning forward in her seat and though she looks strong, Paul knows how much she wants to cry.

Paul looks over at Daryl, and sees that he’s in a very similar state, except he probably would prefer to punch something instead of cry.

“Maggie.” Michonne says softly. “What Rick said, we want to create a better future, one with law and punishments other than death, like time in the cells or types of manual labour. We believe that the one thing this world has too much of is death, and that there are other ways around it.” She explains, crossing her legs and continuing to caress Rick’s fingers with her own. She looks over at Jesus for a second and then motions to him when she looks back at Maggie. “Take what Jesus did for example, he kept those Saviors alive, he showed everyone there’s a better way. Alden stayed here didn’t he to start building?”

Paul sighs loudly and leans forward on his chair again. “I would like to make something very clear.” He says sternly but remaining calm as he rotates between looking at Rick and Michonne. “I’m going to tell you what I told Maggie, Daryl and anyone else who gets it wrong. I am not against killing people, I believe that people should live if there is another way, if there is a chance they can change, and I believed most of those saviors had been forced into their positions like Negan had tried to torture Daryl into doing.” Paul says, feeling Daryl tense beside him, so Paul presses his legs against the other man’s, he had realised that he seemed to take comfort or be calmed down in small bits of physical contacts. “Do I like the idea of not everyone being killed and instead being punished in other ways? Yes, it’s a fantastic idea and is what’s going to help build our new world. But Negan, he does not deserve that same treatment and neither do other certain Saviors. Negan deserves to be executed, along with some others.” Paul informs them, finishing talking and sitting back in his seat once again.

Michonne sighs softly in defeat, the conversation not going where she had hoped it would. 

The conversation between the five of them goes around in circles for another forty minutes before Maggie finally seems to be done, she glances over at Paul and he gives her a nod. He had told Maggie on the way to Barrington House from the stables what he would do for her and Daryl if Rick and Michonne wouldn’t.

Sighing, she turns back to face Rick and Michonne. “Tell me right now, are you two going to change your minds and see that you’re wrong or are you to continue to waste our time?” She asks bluntly, getting straight to the point.

Rick and Michonne both sigh. “We’ve made up our mind Maggie.” Rick replies, looking at the three of them for a few minutes for a couple of seconds each.

Maggie nods and sits back in the seat. “Your son is here, I’m not going to kick him out or banish either of you from coming here to see him or our other family here, but do not expect much from me when you are here.” She tells them. “Now, I will kindly ask you to leave my office.”

Rick and Michonne both glance at her and then at each other as they stand up. “Alright, thank you for being accommodating.” Rick says softly, giving her a small smile that she doesn’t return before turning and making his way to the door, stopping when his hand is tugged on because Michonne hasn’t moved yet.

“I really hope we can move past this Maggie, you are family.” She says to her, glancing over at Daryl afterwards. “You too, Daryl.”

Rick turns around again, eyes on Daryl. “Please keep in touch.” He says quietly and then both he and Michonne leave the room.

Paul, Maggie and Daryl remain in silence for almost a minute before Paul shifts his chair to sit directly facing Maggie, Daryl following his lead a second later before standing up and making his way to the large double doors of the office. He pulls them open, spends a moment making sure nobody is around before he closes the doors again and locking them. He then sits back down.

“Looks like this is up to me.” Paul says, raising his brows as he looks between his two friends.

Maggie looks at him, blinking away watery eyes. “I can’t ask you to do this.” Maggie says softly, shaking her head and then leaning forward to look down at the table as she rests her elbows on the surface and rubs her temples.

Paul shakes his head, leaning forward to take her hand and ask her to look at him. “You’re not asking me to do anything. This is my decision and I’m going through with it.” He reassures her.

She sighs and gives him a grateful smile. “Now is not the time to do so.” She says.

He nods in agreement. “Sometime after winter, I’ll get it done and then I’ll go into hiding, the cabin is three hours away at least from every community and well hidden. Nobody would find me unless Daryl told them where.” He tells her, Daryl nodding beside him, obviously they would be telling Maggie where Paul would be going as she would need the piece of mind that is knowing that he’s safe.

“You get it done, you get out of there straight after. Rick will show up here almost straight away and It’ll be up to me to make them understand why you did it and the blame isn’t all yours, get your name cleared because they’ll want to take you into custody.” She says, the three of them immediately moving into practical mode. “How long do you think you could last out in the cabin? And how would you leave Alexandria and get there quick enough without being caught on the roads?” She asks, brows pulled in concern.

It’s Daryl who answers. “The cabin has a pen by it for Echo, so Paul would take him to Alexandria and hide him somewhere safe outside the walls. He’d sneak in and kill Negan, sneak back out and make his way to the cabin through the woods. It would take him about three to four hours.” He explains, Paul notices the way Maggie blinks and glances between them surprised when Daryl calls him by his real name, something he’s been doing since he pretty much moved in with him, but Maggie only just seems to have heard it. She’s more than surprised obviously because nobody calls him by his real name, not even her.

Paul simply smiles at her. “As for how long I could last out there? However long I need to. I’ll have Echo that I can still do some scouting and scavenging. Daryl says there’s close by towns as it’s right by Richmond, so I’d do what I usually do, gradually stock a van.” He explains, her nodding along as he speaks. “Me and Daryl could meet up as long as it’s safe that nobody will follow him. He could bring me supply re-stocks if that’s what I need, I’ll take things to keep myself entertained. It’s also right by a river, so I’d be able to wash and get water there.”

“Could you handle it? You could be on your own for a long time, not like you’d be able to have visitors all the time.” Daryl asks from beside him, Maggie nodding at his question as she had been wondering the same thing.

“Yes, I could. Some time on my own wouldn’t hurt me, I’ll take a radio so I can be kept updated.” Paul answers. “It wouldn’t be for three months _at least._ Maybe longer if me and Daryl scout for a couple of months first. Gives you two plenty of time to soak me up.” He says with a smirk, petting Maggie’s hand and nudging Daryl’s side cheekily.

Maggie chuckles and Daryl nudges him back, Paul looks over at him and finds him also smirking.

Daryl sighs a few moments later from beside him, leaning back in his chair. “Got another thing we gotta do.” He says and both Paul and Maggie look at him expectantly. “We need to find someone to be on the inside at Alexandria, so they can let us know who’s where and what time, make sure nobody’s around the cells so Paul’s able to sneak in and out safely.” He tells them.

Maggie nods. “That is true.” She says. “They’d have to be willing to lie and go on with a rouse or flee back here after Paul, leave a car planted for them somewhere so they can get back before they get taken into custody.”

“Rosita’s our best bet.” Daryl says. “She thinks Negan bein’ kept alive is all bullshit, she wants him dead. She would help.” He tells them and Paul and Maggie both nod in agreement.

Her and Tara are stopping off here for a day or two before they go to Alexandria to spend the winter and help with rebuilding, so they could talk to her then.

“Tara maybe too.” Maggie says thoughtfully. 

“No.” Paul replies immediately. “I’m not working with her. Me and her can barely stand each other and on top of that, all throughout the war she was irrational and acted plain stupid.” He says, glancing at Daryl.

Maggie nods. “Okay. This is your show, Paul. You’re the one risking the most, so no decision is final until you’ve given it your approval.” She tells him, and he nods with a small smile, having nothing but love and respect for the woman.

They spend several minutes talking about a few more details before they all leave the office, Maggie going up to her room to have a nap and Daryl and Paul are going to go on a hunt. Daryl has been teaching Paul to hunt the past couple of months, and it’ll be even more useful come the time he needs to go into hiding as he could have fresh meat. They had found Paul his own crossbow a few months ago also, so he uses that and he’s picking it up quick enough and he’s still nowhere near as talented as Daryl is with it.

As Paul follows behind Daryl through the woods, he can’t help but wonder just how crazy the roughly next six months is going to be.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING  
> Underage sex between Carl and Enid is referenced to during this chapter.

Paul’s sitting on the bed in Maggie’s bedroom, helping her fold tiny baby clothes when he sees a wide smile go over her face and a hand move to her belly.

“Is he kicking?” Paul asks her, smiling himself.

A lot of Maggie’s stress about the pregnancy and birth has disappeared in the last week because on their last run, Daryl and Paul had managed to find a small group of people living in an old library. A young girl named Lilly, her middle-aged mother Sandra and another man, Lenny.

The group had been a great find for the community. Sandra was a paediatrician just like Carson was before he had been killed, she was a friendly woman and was thrilled to be helping Maggie with her pregnancy and future birth. Siddiq had returned from The Kingdom months ago and Alex and Wes had left, but most of Siddiq’s pregnancy and childbirth knowledge was still coming from books, so when Sandra arrived, he was happy to step back and let her focus on Maggie and Gracie while he focused on the other forms of medical care.

It was at Maggie’s last scan that she had had just two days ago that Sandra had told her she was twenty-two weeks along (five and a half months) and pregnant with a little boy.

Lenny, was also a good edition as he was a good fighter, could use a gun and knife well, so Paul has put his name down for the militia that is slowly being formed as more people are trained, and when more are brought in eventually after the winter has passed.

As for Lilly, she’s quiet and keeps to herself but she’s capable, as much as Lenny is.

“Yes.” Maggie nods and looks up at him from where she’s sitting on the couch, folding blankets. “I’ve been feeling it for almost two weeks now, Sandra said right about now is when they’re strong enough for others to feel them.” She informs him, smiling wide as she rubs her belly over her green tank top. “Eric and Aaron could feel them this morning. Come here.” 

Paul blinks at her nervously for several seconds before he stands up from the bed, placing the clothes he had been folding down on the duvet and then crossing the room. He carefully sits down on the couch beside her, looking at her expectantly.

She rolls her eyes fondly and takes his hand, she places it down on her stomach and holds it there as she smiles at him.

Paul looks down at their hands and after a few moments, he feels a small bump against his palm and then another against his fingers. “Does it hurt?” He asks curiously, a small smile on his lip as Maggie lets him move his hand to follow the kicks around her stomach. She places her own hand on his shoulder instead.

Maggie shakes her head and she trails her fingers distractedly over his shoulder, he shivers slightly at the touch. “It kind of feels just like a muscle twitch, but I’m sure when I’m closer to full term they won’t be as pleasant.” She says with a laugh.

Paul chuckles, feeling perfectly comfortable which is surprising. “Do you have name ideas?” He asks a few moments later.

Maggie nods, not minding how Paul’s hand is still exploring over her belly as he chases after the baby’s kicks out of pure amusement and fascination. “Hershel Jr for my father, with Glenn as his middle name.” She replies.

Paul looks up at her and smiles softly. “It’s a good name.” He tells her, he’s not surprised that Maggie is naming her child after two of the strongest men she ever knew.

* * *

Just after lunch time, Paul’s on his way out of Barrington and makes his way back to the trailer to spend a half hour or so before he’ll go and find Carl and ask the boy to come and check traps with him.

He pets Ivory as he passes the paint mare. All the horses are let out of their stalls during the day to wander freely throughout the community and graze, the green grass is serving no other purpose so they may as well feed on it. Building a paddock for them is on the list of things to be done, but there’s other things that need to be done first, and the horses aren’t hurting anyone with their wandering.

He’s just about to walk up the stairs of the trailer when he hears the rattling coming from inside the trailer somewhere and he furrows his brows. Daryl has just appeared beside him and is looking just as confused as he is, and Maggie is still in her bedroom, taking a nap now that they’ve finished organising the adjoining room that was originally a small lounge area but has now been transformed into a nursery.

So, Paul wants to know who the is in their trailer and why.

He quickly makes his way up the steps and then pushes the door open and steps inside, Daryl following right behind him.

Carl startles violently from where he was standing beside Paul’s bed, his hand buried in the drawer of his nightstand.

“What are you doing?” Paul asks him, a stern look on his face as he motions for the boy to step away from his nightstand. 

Carl does so, his cheeks flushed a deep red as he glances at the door, probably wondering if he’d be able to make it out before one of them caught him, but Daryl closes the door before he can go through with the plan.

“Carl?” Paul repeats himself, raising his brows.

Carl sighs loudly as he shuffles awkwardly on his feet and fiddle with his hands. “I was looking for condoms.” He finally mumbles, refusing to look at either of them.

Paul’s brows raise in surprise, and he glances at Daryl, who looks back at him with slightly widened eyes.

“Why didn’t you go to inventory? Or actually ask me for them?” He asks the boy, Daryl shifting awkwardly beside him.

Carl finally looks up at him. “There was none at inventory, and how would that conversation go? ‘Hey Jesus mind if I steal some condoms? Kay thanks’?” He answers smartly.

Paul rolls his eyes at his defensive tone. “That would have been better than stealing them.” Paul replies, quirking a brow, actually quite annoyed because he does not like the idea of someone being in his trailer and snooping through his things without his knowing.

Carl sighs and continues to fidget. “Can I have them or not?” He asks.

Paul glares at him. “Don’t be a smartass, alright?” He scolds him. 

Carl drops his head again. “I’m sorry.” He says, voice sounding genuinely guilty.

Paul sighs, rubs a hand over his face, wonders why this is his life before he looks back at the boy. “You’re fifteen now, and what, twelve when the outbreak started?” He says, glancing at Daryl who looks almost as embarrassed as Carl does. Carl nods. “Do you have any kind of sex education?” He asks, and Daryl chokes on the water he had been sipping.

Carl looks like a deer in headlights, as he sputters through answering. “Yes… Uh, couple Sex Ed classes in… middle school.” He mumbles, looking like he wants to through himself out the window.

“So, you know what goes where and how?” He asks, very much aware Rick should be having this conversation with his son, but as he’s not here and Paul is, and Carl currently stealing condoms from him, he doesn’t think he has much of another choice.

“Yes! My god!” Carl sputters, shoving his hands over his face.

And maybe Paul smirks and Daryl shoves his face into his arms where he now sits at the table to hide his snorts of laughter.

“Okay.” Paul says and is about to step over to his nightstand when Carl awkwardly stutters something else, so Paul turns to face him again. “What was that?” He asks.

Carl sighs. “Do you use… different condoms because you… you know.” He trails off, fiddles with his hands even more.

Paul doesn’t know whether to roll his eyes his eyes or laugh. “It’s called having anal sex, and no I do not use a different kind of condoms for it.” He replies, he looks over at Daryl again and finds the man already looking at him, cheeks bright red and quickly looking away when Paul meets his eyes. 

“Okay.” Carl mumbles.

Paul steps over to his nightstand and digs around in it, he pulls out one of his boxes of condoms and then a fresh un-opened bottle of lube as well because neither of the teens may not know that much about the importance of foreplay. 

He hands both items to Carl. “Here,” He says and then motions to do the door. “You can leave now.” He says.

“Thank you!” Carl says, shoving the items into his pocket and then rushing out of the trailer.

Once the door has closed behind him, Paul drops down onto his back on his bed and groans loudly. Both he and Daryl manage to last a minute or so before Paul begins to laugh, and that sets off Daryl who buries his face in his hands.

“Fucking hell, that is not a conversation I thought I would be having today.” He says, looking over at Daryl who lifts his head from his hands.

“Not one I thought I would be hearing.” He replies, mouth spread in a wide smile that takes Paul by surprise.

Paul’s never seen the man smile like that, white straight teeth exposed and the smile meeting his eyes, creating crinkles by the corners. And Paul blinks at him several times, he’s always known Daryl is attractive but as Paul looks at him, how he’s smiling at him, all Paul can see is just how beautiful he is.

It makes something stir in Paul’s stomach but he doesn’t know what, not until a moment later when Daryl’s smile lessens to a smaller closed lipped one as he rests his jaw on his hand and continues to look at him. Paul wonders how he was so oblivious to his own feelings.


	13. Chapter 13

Smoke slowly swirls around Paul's head as he puffs at his cigarette and stares out at the darkness in front of him.

He's sitting on top of the RV and taking watch while Daryl sleeps in the small bed beneath him. It's somewhere around three am, but Paul's not even the slightest bit tired, and he'd rather be up here than with Daryl at the moment.

Ever since his 'little' realisation four days ago, he's been avoiding Daryl as much as he possibly can while living with him. He wakes early and goes to sleep late, taking late gate watches and traveling into the woods and taking Echo out early, sometimes with Carl or sometimes by himself.

He helps Maggie a lot too; they've finally finished setting up all the furniture for the nursery. On top of that, they've been making construction plans with Aaron for the windmill and garden. There's also some very rough drafting for some small houses they want to be able to build eventually, definitely sometime after the winter when they have the materials and people to do so.

They have also managed to get the exact dates. Lilly, the young girl from the new group, had revealed the date from her digital watch that she's had since the beginning because she had always managed to replace the battery before it ran out.

There was already a couple of watches floating around the communities with the rough times that people had given them due to the sunset and rise times, but with now having the exact time, Maggie radioed across the communities and let everyone know that, along with the date.

Paul, Maggie, and Enid spent several hours yesterday drawing up official calendars, a communal one to be put in the main room of Barrington House, complete with holidays from the old world and special anniversaries from the new one. After that one, they then made enough that every occupied trailer and room had one with merely the dates, months and major holidays wrote on it, so people could customize them how they wished.

Daryl and Paul haven't had the time to put anything in theirs yet, as they had left for their run this morning, but they were only spending the day and then heading back again in the morning. They were hitting up an old strip mall just three hours away from The Hilltop. The strip mall consisted of four shops, a clothing store that they had completely stripped bare, a restaurant that they had taken whatever ingredients that were still edible and all the cutlery and cooking utensils, a gas station which managed to find a decent amount of gas at along with some candy and a store that was just full of random crap which Paul had a ball in (And even Daryl spent some time wandering around and snagging things) .

So now, here Paul sits, on the 12th of December 2012, on top of a truck probably destroying his lungs and pondering his life, especially the part where he's found himself very attracted to his roommate and one of his best friends.

Paul manages to smoke for several more minutes before he hears a yell come from inside the RV, Paul quickly jumps off the roof and rushes to the door that leads inside.

He makes his way into the RV and then to the bedroom, he carefully pushes the door open and makes his way to the bed where he can see Daryl squirming around on it and is yelling people's names.

Paul's brows furrow as he carefully approaches him, Daryl yells out again, and the sentence makes Paul stop in his tracks for a moment. Daryl was asking for help from someone while crying for someone else to stop. To Paul, it seems like he's having a nightmare that consists of a childhood memory.

It makes his stomach clench and he swallows heavily before moving closer again, wincing at the amount of sweat Daryl appears to be covered in despite the cold.

Paul decides it's best not to touch the man, "Daryl!" He instead, just calls out to him. "Wake up!" It takes a few attempts, but Daryl eventually shoots up in the bed, looking around frantically and panting as he fists the old sheets in his hands. Paul holds his hands up and takes a few steps back from the bed when Daryl's eyes settle on him. "Hi, you were having a nightmare." He says softly.

Daryl swallows thickly as he looks at Paul, lips parted with soft pants and after being frozen for several moments, he lifts his hand and rubs it over his flushed face. "'M sorry." He says softly, voice thick with embarrassment.

Paul frowns. "Don't be sorry." He says simply, contemplating as to whether or not he moves closer to Daryl. He discovered long ago that the man can be comforted by small displays of affection, but Paul has never had to wake him up from a nightmare before. Sure he's seen the man experience them plenty of times, but he never gets distressed enough that Paul feels the need to wake him. Or, Daryl woke up himself and in that case, he pretends nothing happened. Paul usually aks him how he is, but the man shuts him down every time, and Paul simply leaves him be.

But now, looking how vulnerable and shaken Daryl appears, it makes something stir in Paul and he's not entirely sure he would be able to leave him alone.

"Got any water?" Daryl asks quietly after being silent for several minutes, Paul awkwardly standing a little bit away.

Paul nods. "Yeah, course. Hold on a second." He replies and then makes his way out of the bedroom and to the small kitchen, he opens the fridge and pulls out the bottle a bottle of water. He opens it and takes several sips himself as he walks back to the bedroom. "Here you go." He says with a soft smile once he's holding the bottle out to Daryl.

"Thanks," Daryl replies and then takes several gumps of the water. Once he's done, he stands up from the bed carefully, leaving behind patches of sweat on the sheet that he looks at embarrassed for a moment before facing Paul. "I can go take watch now, you get some sleep." He says and reaches for his coat that he's managed to knock to the floor from where he had it folded it on the end of the bed.

Paul shakes his head, he hasn't been sleeping well since his realisation and he knows that won't suddenly change tonight, especially after witnessing the distress Daryl had been in. "I won't be able to sleep," He admits, noticing the look Daryl gives him. "I'll come with you."

Daryl's quiet for several moments and Paul thinks he'll deny him, but he eventually nods and begins to make his way out of the RV, Paul following right behind him.

"Gotta smoke?" Daryl asks once they've settled onto the roof.

"Yeah, here." Paul replies and digs the box of cigarettes out of his coat pocket, handing it to Daryl afterward.

They're silent for several more minutes before Daryl is the one who finally speaks up again. "What do you think 'bout these calendars, all the holidays and shit." His voice soft but curious.

Paul sighs and lights himself a cigarette, knowing he shouldn't as he's already had one today and he really tries to have no more than one a day. But after seeing Daryl the way he was, he needs a cigarette.

Paul shrugs. "I'm not quite sure, but I know it will be good for the communities, to get some sense of normality back." He replies, glancing over at the man briefly, finding him already looking at him. "I never celebrated before the outbreak, not Christmas, New Year, my birthday, none of it, I just didn't know how to do it without my parents or sister."

"I was the same," Daryl replies quietly, puffing out a breath of smoke. "Had my brother but neither of us cared 'bout that, Merle was too busy dealin' and I just had whatever job I could get."

Paul watches him for several seconds, noticing the hard look on his face as he talks about his brother. "What was your brother dealing?" Paul asks curiously, hoping that the man will be happy to talk about his brother with him.

"Weed 'n coke, mostly, but he could get his hands on some other stuff every now and then."

Paul sighs and his lips twitch. "I miss weed." He sighs thoughtfully.

He's surprised when Daryl chuckles. "Me too, you a pot-head before this?" He asks, looking over at him with a smirk over his lips.

"Not a pod-head, no, but I'd have a joint every now and then, usually with Luciana or whatever guy I was dating at the time." He answers, thinking back at how he and Luciana would sit on the balcony at his apartment and look out at the city beneath them.

Daryl listens intently and fiddles with his fingers and lights another cigarette. "You date a lot?" He finally asks after several minutes, his voice curious and quiet with his face flushed red.

Paul looks over at him with a slightly quirked brow, surprised at the man's question. Finally, he sighs and answers. "Yeah, you could say that. I've never had a serious relationship before, I had too many problems of my own before all this, and now it's hard to get attached to people." He says, finishing his cigarette and holding back from lighting another, instead resting his elbows on his knees. "The first people I let myself get close to after losing Luciana a few months in, was Eduardo a few months after I first came to The Hilltop, the same thing happened with Alex, the nurse. Eventually, there was a friends with benefits relationship with both of them, which Eduardo is fine with, but Alex eventually wanted more, and I had to break it off with him because I wasn't ready for that. Afterward, he left The Hilltop and moved to The Kingdom where he lives with Wes now, and he seems to have forgiven me, which I'm glad of as I'd like to be friends with him again." Paul didn't realise how much he had been talking but surprisingly, he finds himself completely comfortable giving the information to Daryl.

Daryl watched him as he spoke, and now he gives Paul a very soft smile. "Was Maggie the next person you let in?" He asks quietly.

Paul lips twitch with a small smile and he nods as he looks back out at the woods in front of them. "Yeah, we kind of clicked straight away, didn't we? Being so alike made it easy. Sasha and Enid too, but then I lost Sasha and it fucking hurt." He sighs, furrowing his brows and feeling a clench in his stomach as he thinks about his dead friend. "Didn't want to get close to anyone else after that, but then you and Carl changed that, and Maggie's been helping me with it too, that getting close to people isn't a bad thing."

"I wasn't good with it at the start either, the group that we had when you met us, along with others that we lost, it took a long time for me to be comfortable with being apart of that family, especially when we lost people." Daryl replies, and once again Paul realises how alike the two of them are, though they do have plenty of differences, there are still key pieces of their personalities that make them alike, he decides to voice this to Daryl.

"Do you realise how alike we are?" Paul asks, looking over at him with a quirked brow and a small smirk spread over his lips.

Daryl smirks back and leans back against, resting his weight on his arms. "Guess we are." He mumbles thoughtfully.

They're silent for several somewhat awkward moments before Paul clears his throat. "What about you, were you a pot-head?" He asks.

Daryl chuckles lowly and Paul thinks he sees him roll his eyes. "Probably could say that, didn't live of the stuff but had it often. It was either that or whatever shit my brother was dealing, got pressured by him and his buddies a lot to take shit, smoke it, snort it, inject it or swallow it. Was easier to say no if I already had something."

The information makes Paul's brow furrow and anger bubble in his stomach. "I'm sorry, that's a shitty brother right there. You deserved a better family than that." He says.

Daryl grunts and nods. "Got it now." He answers.

Paul hums, and they're silent again for several moments, both of them with thought. Paul decides, that now while Daryl seems to be happy answering his questions and letting him in, that he'll ask him the question that has been nagging at his brain for months.

"Can I ask you one more question?" He asks, Daryl looks over at him and nods, a curious but nervous expression on his face. "You're so good with Judith and Gracie, it makes me wonder if you ever had children before the outbreak?"

He's surprised by the tiny smirk on Daryl's lips. "Nah, kinda always wanted to though I guess, just didn't want to the relationship that would go along with it back then. And with how my life was, never woulda been approved for adoption or any of that, not that I could have even afforded a kid anyway."

The answer takes Paul by surprised, he hadn't been expecting Daryl to pour that much out to him. He's not surprised by Daryl telling him he wants children though, that much to him is obvious.

"There's always one day, and with this world, you never know what could happen." He decides to answer, fidgeting with his fingers.

"Yeah, a stork will be down here any minute to drop a baby in my lap." Daryl snorts and Paul laughs, loving that he's seeing this side of Daryl, the smiling one. "Guessing you never had 'em?"

Paul looks over at him with furrowed brows. "What makes you think that?" He asks, not sure if he should be offended.

"You're terrified of Judith and Gracie."

"I am not terrified of them!" Paul argues. "It's just, they're so small and fragile, I'm scared I'll break them. I'm good with older kids that actually have some independence and won't break if you poke them."

Daryl snorts. "What do you plan on doing when Maggie has her baby then?"

"Protect him from a safe distance."

* * *

"What time did Maggie say she's coming?" Paul asks as he steps out of the bathroom, towel drying his hair and stepping over to the small kitchen where Daryl is stirring the sauce for their spaghetti dinner, using Eric's recipe because everybody loves Eric's spaghetti.

"In 'bout fifteen minutes." Daryl replies, glancing over his shoulder at him with tired eyes.

"Okay." Paul replies, throwing his towel over his bare shoulders and resting against the wall behind Daryl. He can't help his eyes trailing down Daryl's body, he's wearing a pair of Paul's sweats which are just a little too tight for him and hug his ass in such a way that makes Paul wonder how he was oblivious to his own feelings for so long. After a moment he blinks when he hears Daryl saying his name. "Huh?" He asks, smirking a little at the furrow in Daryl's brow.

"Can you set the table?" He repeats himself.

Paul nods and then steps around Daryl to pull some plates from the shelf and places them on the table before stepping back and grabbing cutlery.

He's helping Daryl serve out the spaghetti onto the plates at the table when there's a knock on the door and Daryl elbows him in his side in encouragement to go and let Maggie in. Paul elbows him back before stepping back over to the door and pulling it open.

"Hi!" He greets her in excitement, happy to be having her over for a reason as simple as dinner and not strictly centered around community issues.

She pulls him into a hug and squeezes tightly, something she does so commonly now that he's learned not to stiffen or tense, and he finds he enjoys it. "Nice to see you dressed up for me." She says with a tiny smirk as she looks down at his bare chest, grey sweats and bare feet.

Paul chuckles and steps to the side to let her inside. "Only the best for you." He jokes as she embraces Daryl and then takes a seat where he directs her, a hand on her round almost six-month belly.

"Mm, I'm starving." She says and quickly reaches for her fork shovels a mouthful of spaghetti into her mouth.

Daryl chuckles and quickly joins her while Paul takes a few moments to fill all their glasses with water.

“So,” Maggie says after finishing her mouthful of spaghetti. “How did the run go?”

Paul takes a seat beside Daryl and twirls some spaghetti around his fork as her answers. “It was good, we found a few more baby pieces for bub, a lot more seeds along with some other bits and pieces. The best find by far was the massive feed shed a few hours away. We found it last night on our way back when he stopped for a piss break. It had stuff for horses, cattle, sheep, pigs, dogs and cats too I think, not that we have any of those at the moment. Anyway, Daryl’s going back out with Eduardo and Kal to collect it sometime next week, when I’m scheduled to go to Kingdom for the pickup.” Paul informs her and then pops the spaghetti into his mouth, he quirks his brow when he watches Maggie place down a calendar onto the table he hadn’t seen her bring in.

“Okay, I’ll add those in.” She replies, pulling a pencil from her bra and writing down the runs on the date they’re scheduled for.

“We should too.” Daryl says and stands up to grab their own calendar and pen from where it sits on Daryl’s nightstand.

Paul hums in response, not choosing to respond as he’s more focused on how good the spaghetti tastes. He decides he should cook dinner for Daryl sometime, he can cook, he just hasn’t had to since Daryl always beats him to it.

After a moment, he smirks as he watches Maggie and Daryl compare calendars and fill what they don’t have from each others. Paul takes note of where Daryl has just scribbled down Carl’s birthday for August next year. He’s another mouthful into his dinner when Maggie finally asks the question he’s been dreading ever since the damn calanders were made.

“Now, I need to know when you two have your birthdays.”

Paul watches as Daryl scrunches up his face and glares at Maggie. “Shit like that don’t matter.” He grunts and proceeds to shovel more food into his mouth.

“Oh come on, I have everybody else’s in this family, and now I need yours. It’s not like there’ll be some big birthday bash, we could just do this, have a nice dinner with as few or many people as we like.”

Daryl sighs loudly. “Fine, this is your for your damn benefit.” He snaps and collects more spaghetti, not wanting to argue with a moody pregnant woman. “12th of July.”

“How old will you be? Everyone’s ages are going down too, more for records than actual birthday reasons.” She informs him when he scrunches his face even more.

“Forty-two.”

Paul processes the reply as he studies the other man, he noticed the embarrassed glance that he gave him and Paul wonders what it was for. Surely, Daryl wouldn’t be embarrassed about his age around Paul, after all, he’s not even that much older than him.

Paul doesn’t have anymore time to ponder on it as Maggie turns her gaze to him and gives him a soft smile. He doesn’t smile back, when the two of them were working on the maps she had asked him if he was excited about being able to have holidays, and like he had done with Daryl, he explained to her he didn’t like celebrating.

“We don't need to celebrate yours in the slightest if you don't want to. I've even told you it's fine if you want to disappear on a run while we're having Christmas at The Kingdom, but I would like to have it down on records."

Paul rolls his eyes and picks at his food. "There isn't no way people don't celebrate on my birthday." He mumbles.

"What are you talking 'bout?" Daryl asks curiously from beside him and then sips his water.

"I was born on Christmas." He answers them, ignoring the quirked brow from Maggie and he shovels more food into his mouth. "I'll be thirty-six." He adds.

Maggie nods and writes it down. "Your parents would have liked that I bet." She says softly, glancing up at him nervously to gauge his reaction with Daryl sitting silently and awkwardly beside them.

"They used to say I was the best present they ever had." He replies quietly and then feeling the sting in his eyes and the sudden lack of appetite, he stands up from the table. "I'm sorry, I'm going to go see Echo." He says and makes his way to the door, grabbing his coat and quickly exiting the trailer.

* * *

It's several hours later when he finally returns to the trailer, a bit after eleven, the cold night air is what made him leave the stables and return to the trailer in search of warmth.

He found Daryl sitting up on the couch in his pajamas and reading, he looks up when Paul enters offers him a soft smile.

"Hi." Paul mumbles, feeling a flush of embarrassment.

"Hey." Daryl replies awkwardly. "You okay?"

Paul nods and steps over to his nightstand, pulling open the drawer and pulling out a photo frame. "I want to show you something." He says and steps back over to the couch, sitting down beside him. He holds out the frame and hands it to Daryl. "This is me, my sister, and my mom." Paul says softly.

Paul watches as Daryl holds the frame carefully. He has a whole album along with some boxes full of photos, but they're stashed under his bed and too hard to get to, so he keeps this one in his drawer as it's the only one he has framed.

Paul looks at the photo too, it was the most recent one taken before his father destroyed their family. And though his father still took the picture, Paul was glad he had a nice photo of them that he wasn't in. Because though Paul knows his father loved him and was just sick, he'll never be able to forgive him for what he did.

In the photo, Paul and his mother are sitting on a log with Rosie on the ground in front of them. All three of them are grinning at the camera and in their swimwear, Paul in little rainbow shorts because he had just come out as gay to his parents at just eight years old. His mom had a gay friend and was well aware of the pride flag and it's meaning, she gave the shorts to Paul and explained the meaning behind them. Paul remembers that even with how sick his father had been at that time, he had still hugged Paul and told him he loved him.

His mother wears a red two-piece that shows off just how much fitness had run in their family, she had been a gym rat in her spare time and Paul loved watching her, even tried to keep up with her sometimes.

Rosie, as a child who loved all animals, wore a blue suit with about ten different animals on it, her red hair was frizzy and curly around her face and her grin so full of life.

"What was your mom's name?" Daryl asks softly, still looking at the photo.

"Harriet, but everyone just called her Harry." Paul replies.

"You look like her."

Paul hums and he smiles softly, knowing it's true. He got his mother's hair colour, her bone structure, and her big blue-green doe eyes, eyes that Paul knows can be killers, from personal experience. He used to be able to make his old boyfriends weak in the knees with the right looks.

"Yeah, I know." He whispers and carefully takes the photo frame back. "I have more photos I'd show you, but they're stashed under the bed, some in a box and I have one album," Paul tells the man as he carefully places the frame back in its drawer. "Wish I had enough albums for all of them actually, but I haven't found any new ones, and it feels wrong to take other people's photos out."

Daryl nods. "It's a nice photo, thanks for showing me." He says softly, with a small smile.

Paul smiles back and pulls his coat off, tossing it over the back of the chair in front of him, not bothering to walk to the coat rack. "I'm going to get some sleep." He says and climbs into his bed.

"Goodnight, Paul."


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING!!!  
> Alcoholism and self-harm in the form of cutting and burning are mentioned in this chapter.

Paul's leading Echo down to the stables when he hears footsteps from behind him, he turns his head and proceeds to smile when he spots Carol.

"Good morning," He greets her as she falls into step beside him.

"Morning, Jesus. It's good to see you back," She tells him.

Paul nods. "I'm heading back tomorrow morning, but I'll be coming back Christmas Eve." He tells her.

He had ultimately decided to participate in the Christmas holiday; it was for Maggie's sake more than him wanting to join, but it was going to be a big celebration and her husband wasn't going to be there with her. Paul decided he would be a few days ago after he had found her crying.

"So you'll be here for the celebrations, yes?" She inquires, and he nods. "Well, have you got a gift for Daryl?"

He furrows his brows and shakes his head. "No, I haven't." He replies.

She smiles. "Oh good, I have something to show you in the stables."

"Well, we're here." He tells her as they enter The Kingdom's stables, his brows still furrowed with confusion. "I'll put Echo away, and then feel free."

He takes a few minutes to remove Echo's tack and quickly groom him before settling him into his stall and then walking down the stables' aisle to the end where Carol had disappeared. "Alright, what are you showing me?" He asks as he steps into the empty stall she's sitting in.

"These." She states and motions to the box in front of her. When Paul gets closer, he furrows his brows because the box is full of kittens.

"Why are you showing me this?" He asks, stepping a little closer and leaning against the door.

"Well," She answers. "Last time Daryl was here, we were chatting, and he happened to mention that his grandmother used to have a cat that he loved to death when he was a child and has always wanted one of his own. And as it's your trailer and Daryl told me you're quite strict about mess-" He quirks a brow at that and then rolls his eyes. "I figured, you would have to give the okay for him to have one of these little guys." She says and strokes the head of a fluffy ginger kitten.

"As long as he teaches it to crap outside, you can give him whatever damn kitten you want," Paul tells her, still a little confused by the conversation.

Carol shakes her head and smirks a little at him. "You're giving him the kitten, not me."

"Why?" Paul asks, voice thick with confusion as he looks down at the smiling grey-haired lady in front of him. He thinks that she and Ezekiel are a perfect match.

"I already have a new crossbow for him; his old one is messed up from Dwight. Besides, it would mean more coming from you."

"What are you talking about?"

Carol chuckles softly without answering and reaches into the box. "Never you mind. Now, there are seven kittens here, but I think this one is the best match for Daryl." She says and pulls out the fluffiest black kitten Paul has ever seen; the thing lets out a pitiful meow and squirms as it nips at Carol's fingers. Paul can't help the twitch in his lips when that the tiny animal only has one eye. "She's grumpy."

Paul rolls his eyes but leans down to quickly stroke behind the kitten's ear. "Alright then."

* * *

Two days later, they're approaching the gates of The Kingdom. Daryl and Paul are lagging behind and taking their time, chatting as they do. Carl and Enid are trotting ahead of them, Carl too excited to see his parents and sister to go and their pace.

"Sure you're alright here for this?" Daryl asks him quietly, body rocking slightly with Kimber's stride. "Maggie won't be upset if you decide you need to back out."

Paul nods and gives him a soft smile, reaching up to adjust his beanie which had been slipping too fair down his forehead. "I'm alright right now, I'll more than likely need a break at some point, but right now, I'm okay."

Daryl nods and gives him a small lazy smile, something he seems to do quite often now.

* * *

By the time night had rolled around, music is playing throughout the Kingdom as people sing, dance, drink, and sing. People seem to be enjoying their Christmas Eve.

Paul himself is sitting a little ways off from all the action, just watching everyone else as he sips his large glass of orange juice. He can see Maggie a little ways off happily chatting with Rosita and Enid, Carl's dancing with Michonne and Judith and Rick's with Carol and Ezekiel. It's too crowded for him to see anyone else.

He by himself for a few more minutes before he sees Daryl begin to approach him, Gracie in his arms.

"How you doin'?" Daryl softly asks as he sits down beside Paul, gently placing Gracie down on the grass between his legs.

Paul smiles at him and at Gracie who looks up at curiously with her big eyes, and a little grin spreads on her lips. Paul, deciding to be brave, reaches out and strokes down her dark blonde hair.

"I'm okay, just taking a little break while Maggie's occupied," Paul answers honestly, smiling wide when Gracie grabs his fingers.

"Do you think you're gonna come to celebrate Christmas tomorrow?"

"Yes. Well, I'm going to try." Paul replies.

Daryl nods in understanding.

A little while later, Paul's moved again and is grabbing a snack from the food table when Daryl appears beside him and pours himself a drink; it's wine which Paul knows he doesn't like, but he seems to have no other options. "Want a drink?" Daryl asks, holding up the bottle.

Paul shakes his head and chews on his pastry. "No, thank you. I don't drink remember?" He reminds him.

"Oh, forgot sorry," Daryl says quietly, awkwardly coughing and then sipping at his wine. "Mind if I ask why?" He adds curiously, glancing over at him.

Paul doesn't feel any hesitation in answering him, the other man already knows pretty much all about him. "I was fucked up by the time I left the group home when I was eighteen. I was really depressed and still trying to mourn my family, I needed a way to control my pain, feel it on my terms. The alcoholism was to forget; the cutting was for when I couldn't forget." He answers with a sigh, shifting awkwardly and he swears the old scars on his thighs could be burning.

Paul's glad the food table is quiet and that everybody else is too busy doing something else.

"I used to burn myself with cigarettes. I never knew why, but what you just said makes sense, wanting to have some control." Daryl says softly, and Paul notices the way he runs his fingers over his wrist nervously.

Paul had noticed the burn marks long ago, but he never mentioned anything about them.

Paul steps closer to Daryl and reaches for his hand, giving him a soft smile as he squeezes his hand briefly before letting go again.

Maggie approaches them a few moments later, and Paul smiles at her. "Come dance with me." She says and takes Paul's hand, taking a few steps back, and he follows her.

"Do I have any choice in the matter?" Paul asks with a smile, glancing back at Daryl with a smile.

"No." She replies with a smirk.

They danced for a while, the song wasn't slow, but it wasn't fast, just a nice blues song. There were three more songs after that before Maggie got tired and they had to go and sit down, sharing an old couch together with Maggie's head on his shoulder and Paul feeling Hershel kick beneath his palm. He finds himself becoming a little excited for the baby to arrive.

* * *

When Paul woke up the next morning, the sun was beginning to rise. Paul managed to last all of fifteen minutes in his room before rushing out of his room and to the stables.

He doesn't even tack Echo up; he rides him bareback out of the gates and into the woods. They gallop for a long time, but he slows down when he reached the river, he dismounted and allowed Echo to graze while he sat himself down by the river and stared blankly.

He pulls a cigarette from his pocket and lights it. He takes a deep inhale of the smoke as guilt swirls in his stomach. He feels guilty for leaving, and he knows that Maggie and Daryl will worry about him, but they'll calm down as soon as they see that Echo is also gone.

He hopes they'll be okay, but he needs a moment. He's overwhelmed, he was doing okay last night, but then he had gone to sleep and ended up dreaming of his sister and mother, of their last Christmas. And he feels guilty for celebrating without them, that he doesn't deserve to when they can't, when they can't be sitting here with him.

"Fuck I miss you." He mumbles as he looks out at the river, after having been sat in silence for what could be almost two hours. "I don't even fucking remember much about you, but fuck I miss you."

He feels the sting behind his eyes, and before he knows it, tears are leaking from his eyes and pouring down his face. He chokes on his sob and covers his mouth, and he squeezes his eyes closed because he doesn't cry, he's not a cryer. His throat tightens, and he can't hold it anymore, he can't stop them, he begins to sob.

He goes on for a long time before he can hear hoofs approaching and he springs up, pulling his knife from his belt and ducking behind a tree.

He sighs when he spots it's just Carl on Poppy. Paul sighs and walks out from behind the trees, wishing it wasn't so obvious he had been crying, but he doesn't have much of choice. Carl jumps when he sees him but then smiles softly, a look of sympathy on his face that Paul hates.

"What are you doing here? You shouldn't leave the walls by yourself." Paul snaps and trudges over to Echo who nuzzles at his stomach happily.

"I saw you take off. You don't let me be alone when I'm upset. I wanted to do the same for you." Carl says quietly, watching Paul brush dirt from Echo's back.

"We're not the same people, Carl. I like being alone." He answers, aware he's acting like a dick, but he's out of his element. He's always strong for Carl to help him, he doesn't need the teen to see him like this.

"I know, but you never know when someone's going to change their mind."

Paul sighs and throws himself onto Echo's back. "Let's go." He says, he doesn't want to head back yet but he doesn't want to stay out here with Carl, and he doesn't want to send the boy back by himself.

* * *

They arrive back at The Kingdom about half an hour later, Carl tells him that he already missed the big breakfast, but people were still sitting around in the area they had celebrated last night and were hanging out and exchanging gifts.

Paul takes Carl's horse, and the boy heads back to his family. Once he's taken care of the horses, he collects the fluffy black one-eyed kitten from its box and cradles it against his chest as he walks back to the building where his room is, he bypasses where everyone else is to grab Maggie and Carl and Enid's gift.

He drops the kitten down on the bed when he reaches his room; it manages to sit still for all of two seconds before it spots one of Paul's hairbands on the covers and begins attacking it.

He grabs the bag from his pack containing the gifts and then the sweater that he had slept in and tucks it into the bag as well before picking up the kitten, he places her in there two and wraps the sweater around her to keep her warm.

With a deep breath, he carefully slings the bag over his shoulder and then makes his way out of the building to join everyone else.

Maggie smiles wide when she sees him approaching. She's sitting around a circle of mismatched chairs; there are camper chairs, logs, and an old armchair. Daryl, Carol, and Ezekiel sit with her.

He holds up a finger to her in signal to give him a minute, and he takes a slight detour to the picnic table right beside them where Rick, Michonne, Carl, Judith, and Enid are sitting.

"Good morning." Michonne greets him pleasantly, with a soft smile as Judith wriggles in her lap.

Paul gives her a soft smile and reaches into his bag, and he proceeds to pull out a massive stack of comics that he has tied together with a rope. He dumps the stack down in front of Carl and Enid, and it hits the table with a thud. "Merry Christmas, you two." He tells them and reaches out to squeeze Carl's shoulder.

"Holy shit!" Carl exclaims with a grin and picks up the pile.

"Hey! Watch your language around Judith." Rick lectures him, but there's a smile on his face at the smile that's lighting up his son's face.

Paul chuckles too, and though there's tension between them at the moment, they wish each other Merry Christmas before Paul makes his way back to where Maggie and the others are.

He leans down and kisses Maggie's cheek as he passes her and then sits down on the log beside Daryl who sits in a camper chair. "Sorry, I'm late." He mumbles, a slight flush in his cheeks.

Maggie shakes her head and smiles at him from where she sits in the armchair opposite him. "Don't apologise, you're here now." She tells him.

Paul smiles at her and then reaches into his bag, hoping the kitten will stay quiet as he wants to be able to surprise Daryl. "This is for you." He says as he leans forward with his arm outstretched for Maggie to be able to take the Polaroid camera off him. "Figured it would be nice to get some pictures of the bub." He explains.

Her lips spread in a broad smile as she holds the camera. Paul spots her eyes watering. "Thank you so much, Paul." She says and stands up from the armchair, he stands up and meets her halfway to wrap his arms around her. He squeezes her tight for several moments before they sit back down.

Paul turns on the log to face Daryl, and he quirks a brow as he smirks at him. "Now, you should technically be thanking Carol since it was her idea," Paul says as he reaches into the bag and carefully wraps his hands around the tiny kitten. "Merry Christmas." He says and holds the kitten out.

Daryl's eyes widen as he stares at the kitten for several seconds before he finally takes the kitten, holding her carefully against his chest and rubbing behind her ears. Daryl's silent for several moments before he looks up at Paul, "Thank you, really." He says softly, and Paul watches as he blinks rapidly to hide watery eyes.

"She doesn't have a name yet, so, that's on you," Paul tells him, unable to stop the wide smile on his face.

Daryl looks up at him again and smiles even more. "I'll think of something." He says and then hisses softly when tiny but sharp teeth latch onto his thumb.

Paul chuckles. "She's kind of an asshole, just like you."

Daryl rolls his eyes and flashes Paul the finger.

When Paul looks over at the table behind them, he finds Carl and Enid already engrossed in comic books, but Rick and Michonne are watching them with broad and curious smiles.

* * *

"Now," Paul says after coming out of the bathroom, finding Daryl sitting on the couch and dragging a string along the cushion for the kitten to chase, the kitten he had named Ash. Daryl looks up at him and quirks a brow. "I have one rule, you teach that cat to shit and piss outside," Paul tells him.

Daryl snorts. "Alright." He replies.

Paul chuckles and sits down on his bed, he opens his drawer and pulls out the photo frame of him and his mother and sister.

"Oh!" Daryl suddenly says and stands up from the couch, reaching for a box beside his nightstand. "I have something for you too, but I didn't wanna risk damaging it taking it to Kingdom." He says and walks over to Paul, the kitten jumping off the couch and following after Daryl, she's already imprinted on him.

Paul's lips twitch with a smile as he takes the medium sized box from Daryl. He pulls back the cardboard flaps and his lips part when he sees what's inside, two large photo albums along with five frames.

Paul carefully places the box down on the bed beside him and then stands up, he steps close to Daryl and throws his arms up around Daryl's shoulders and hugs him tight, resting his head on his broad shoulder.

"Thank you," Paul whispers, and after a few moments, Daryl's arms wrap around Paul's waist.


	15. Chapter 15

Paul's on his way back to the trailer from the stables when he hears it, soft sobbing coming from behind Barrington House where the cemetery is. He swallows thickly and rounds the corner and sighs sadly when his suspicions are confirmed. Daryl sits in the cemetery, his legs pulled to his chest, and he's sobbing.

Paul decides to approach him, and he does so slowly, Daryl's head whips around when he hears the footsteps and looks mortified for a moment before realising it's just Paul, he turns back to look at Glenn's grave.

Paul doesn't say anything as he continues to approach him, he stops behind him and stands in silence for several moments as he watches Daryl desperately try and get his breathing back under control and wipe furiously and the tears still falling from his eyes.

With a deep breath, Paul makes a decision and sits down on the dirt behind the man and after several seconds, reaches forward and wraps his arms around Daryl's belly and rests his forehead between his shoulder blades.

It makes Daryl take a shaky breath, and he drops his head to stare at the dirt.

They sit in silence for a long time, Daryl with his head bent and crying softly and Paul's hands on his belly with his thumbs gently stroking over the material of his sweater. "I hate that there are no fresh flowers," Paul mumbles, moving his head to rest his chin on Daryl's shoulder. "I usually bring fresh ones about once a week, but snow is covering everything right now, I can't find any. And even I found them, they'd die too quickly after I picked them."

Daryl's head moves slightly, and his chin bumps against Paul's cheek. "Didn't know it was you who did that." He says softly, his voice hoarse and scratchy from his crying.

Paul hums softly and smiles against the material of Daryl's shirt. "Yeah, ever since Maggie first got here. I remember what she was like back then, it's fantastic to see how much she's grown, as a leader, a mom, a person in herself." He says softly, smiling at the thought.

"It's good that she's getting back to how she was before Glenn... I knew she'd overcome it, without ever forgetting him of course." Daryl mumbles, and it takes Paul by surprise when he feels Daryl's hand rest on his wrist.

"You don't still feel guilty do you?" Paul whispers, with his eyebrows pulled together.

Daryl sighs heavily and lolls his head back a little. "Some moments when I do, but I know I shouldn't, Maggie's made me believe that. It's easier to deal with it now."

"I'm proud of you." Paul murmurs.

"Why?"

"Because guilt is one of the hardest things to overcome," Paul replies quietly.

Neither of them says anything for a while after that, but they stay hugging. When they finally stand up, Paul's taken by surprise for the second time that day when Daryl crashes against his chest and wraps his arms tightly around Paul's middle as he drops his head down to rest against Paul's shoulder. Paul gasps but after a few seconds, he wraps his arms up around Daryl's shoulders and holds him, using his hand to stroke his hair softly.

When he feels Daryl begin to cry again, his heart drops. "Hey, it's okay." He whispers, hoping he sounds comforting but as his stomach is rolling in thick knots, he's not sure how well he's doing.

When Daryl only lets out a louder sob and squeezes tighter, Paul once again comes to a realisation. A realisation that makes him feel ridiculously oblivious.

He has real, genuine romantic feelings for Daryl Dixon.

He knows because now, holding a sobbing Daryl in his arms, all he wants to do is take him somewhere safe and warm and protect him from anything that would ever cause him pain.

He's relieved when Daryl pulls away a few seconds later, but he's also a little disappointed as though he was freaking out a little, he was enjoying the contact.

Daryl furiously wipes at his eyes and clears his throat awkwardly. "I'm sorry." He mumbles, avoiding Paul's eyes and a deep red flush covers his face.

Paul shakes his head. "Don't be sorry. There's nothing wrong with getting upset." Paul tells him with a soft smile, his heart thumping in his chest so hard, he wouldn't be surprised if you could see it.

Daryl nods awkwardly. "Think I'm gonna go see Kimber." He mumbles.

Paul smiles. "Okay, I was going to go and see Maggie, but I can come with you if you like?"

Daryl shakes his head. "No, it's okay. I'll see you tonight."

"See you," Paul replies, and he watches Daryl walk away until he's out of his sight. Paul then proceeds to walk towards the entrance of Barrington House, as calmly as he can manage.

* * *

He knocks on Maggie's bedroom door when he reaches it, fiddling with his fingers nervously while he waits for her to answer.

She pulls the door open and his brows furrow. "I didn't wake you did I?" He asks, looking down at her pajamas.

She smiles at him and shakes her head. "No, I woke up a few minutes ago. I was just reading a baby book." She replies and steps aside, motioning for him to come in and once he is, she sits back down on the bed and tucks herself under the covers.

"What are you learning from it?" He asks curiously and sits down on the bed, kicking off his boots before moving up the bed and laying on his back with his head on the pillow.

Maggie smiles at him. "The importance of schedules." She replies with a quirked brow.

Paul hums, and he and Maggie both proceed to sit in a comfortable silence, Paul staring up at the ceiling and Maggie flicking through her book. Paul's twiddling with his fingers nervously and biting his lip as he ponders his feelings for Daryl.

"So," He says quietly, and Maggie hums, not really paying attention as she reads her book. "I have romantic feelings for Daryl."

That gets Maggie's attention, and she looks down at him. "I was wondering when you'd figure that out." She tells him with a soft smile.

Paul's mouth drops a little, and his brows pull together as he pushes himself up onto his elbows. "What? How the fuck did you know I have feelings for Daryl before I did?" He exclaims.

Maggie's smile broadens, and she taps his head. "Don't swear in front of the baby." She lectures him, and Paul can't help from rolling his eyes, that earns him another tap. "All the signs were there, pretty much from when we started developing the plan for killing Negan. Though for Daryl, I'm not sure when it started."

Paul's eyes widen, and he entirely sits up. "What are you talking about 'when it started for Daryl'?!" He shouts, feeling very much confused and taken off guard.

Maggie sighs and places her book down. "Well, I don't know for sure actually. But you're the first person he's let in in a long time, and being honest you know him more than anybody does. I know he cares about you, that much is for sure. Do I know if there's more than just platonic feelings there? No, I don't, he's even harder to read then you are, but would I be surprised if there were romantic feelings? Not in the slightest, it would make sense; you two would work incredibly well together." She tells him.

Paul spends several moments just blinking at her in shock because this is not at all what he had expected to come from this conversation. "I don't-" He stutters through his words for several seconds. He sighs and takes a deep breath, closing his eyes and resting his face on his hands. "I don't know what to do."

Maggie sighs and moves closer to him, she places a hand on his knee and squeezes. "Have you thought about trying to have a relationship with him, 'courting' him as such?" She suggests, crossing her legs.

Paul sighs and processes Maggie's words for several seconds. "I haven't dated someone properly in... over three years?" He sighs and rubs a hand over his face. "And I've dated a lot of guys, not one of them was serious or long-term. A relationship with Daryl wouldn't be like that; he's an all in kind of guy. I don't know if I could do that kind of relationship."

Maggie pushes some hair back from his face in a comforting gesture, and a small smile plays on his lips. "Why are you so afraid of being in a serious relationship?" She asks him.

Paul sighs. "Afraid of losing people, commitment issues. That's what it's always been."

"Do you think that would change with Daryl?" She asks softly.

"I don't know. I guess it could." He sighs, he takes a deep breath. He thinks about it, what it would be like to be in a relationship with Daryl.

As he thinks about it, it really wouldn't be that much different than how they already are. There would just be more affection, kissing and possibly sex somewhere down the line if Daryl wanted to, they might start to share the bed and leave the couch all to Ash. Their rides and hunts might begin to be considered dates. They would call each other boyfriends instead of friends. They'd be in love with each other one day.

"What are you thinking about?" Maggie asks curiously, taking his hand and squeezing it comfortingly.

"That I want to try." He answers honestly and blinks at her, a tiny smile tugs on his lips and he chuckles when he's pulled in for a hug. "Maggie?" He asks voice muffled from where it's pressed into her neck, and she hums in response. "How the hell does one go about dating Daryl Dixon?"

She sighs. "The best thing you could be is honest with him from the start because if he's not interested, you don't want to have gotten your hopes up. If he is interested, he'll probably need time to process."

"Oh god." Paul mumbles, deciding that telling Daryl he has feelings for him, may be one of the scariest things he'll ever do.

* * *

The next day's afternoon came quickly, Paul had once again been attempting to avoid Daryl, keeping himself so busy that he didn't have time to see him. The nonstop work is what made the time past so quickly.

Tonight, Aaron and Eric had managed to get an old projector and screen working and are playing a movie in the Barrington House main room, inviting anyone who wanted to attend and Paul couldn't think of anything else to do.

As he's walking out of his trailer, he spots Daryl just by the front door of Barrington House, Gracie is in his arms. The baby has a sweet smile on her face and is reaching up to try and touch the thick snowflakes falling. Paul smiles and approaches them.

Daryl turns his head when he hears Paul's boots crunching on the snow, and he smiles softly when he spots him. "Hi." Daryl greets him, an adorable red flush on his cheeks from the cold.

Paul smiles at him, and then at Gracie when she reaches out to him. He doesn't take her from Daryl, because he's not comfortable holding the baby, but he does take her small hand and let her touch his beard, something she loves doing.

"Come on," He says and after letting Gracie play with his beard for a few moments. "It's too cold out here for her." He says, he really has no idea, but he's just guessing. Paul himself is wearing three layers beneath his trench coat.

Daryl nods, and they both fall into step beside each other.

When they get inside, Daryl splits off to give Gracie back to Aaron or Eric and Paul makes his way to a spare couch, claiming it for him and Daryl. He has two minutes of peace before Carl shows up and hands Paul Daryl's kitten, Ash. Because she seems to hate him, she immediately begins attacking his fingers, so he drops her onto the couch cushion beside him and glares at her until Daryl shows up and cradles her in the crook of his arm.

"What are we watching?" Daryl grunts, relaxing back into the cushions and shifting closer to Paul.

"No idea." Paul murmurs, butterflies forming at feeling the heat from Daryl's body seeping into his own, and it makes him feel like a teenager.

In the end, the movie ends up being _Jaws_ and Paul manages to last half an hour before he passes out asleep on Daryl's shoulder.


	16. Chapter 16

Paul sighs in defeat and drops down onto the ground, wriggling backward until he's leaning against the walls. He reaches for his bottle of water laying in the snow beside him and takes several gulps, Aaron joins him as he does.

"It's too fucking slippery." Paul groans as he nods to the shed they had been building, the steel of the shed along with the ladders that Lenny had left out overnight, have frozen. Neither of them could get a good grip on the metal to continue to the construction, and when Aaron had been on the ladder, he managed to slip and lose his balance. He had fallen backward, but luckily Paul had managed to catch him somewhat, but then they both fell to the ground, with Aaron crushing Paul with his weight.

Aaron nods and hands the water back to Paul. "We might have to give up until the sun's hot enough to melt the ice."

Paul sighs and leans his head back to rest it against the wall. "It's just so inconvenient, the end of the war clashing with the start of winter, building isn't impossible, but it's just so much more difficult."

Aaron nods and huffs. "There's not much else we can do though, Daryl and I are trying out best hunting, but it's challenging to track with the snow, whenever new stuff falls it covers them. Only successful thing is the traps, but they don't catch long lasting stuff like deer."

"And me and Daryl can't go on many scavenging trips that aren't close, the roads are dangerous. We can take the horses, but it's too cold for us and them to stay overnight in places. "

"We'll just have to make due the best we can until the end of winter," Aaron says, and Paul nods in agreement. "Where's Daryl this morning? I haven't seen him." He adds a few moments later.

"He was still asleep when I left, which is strange and I think I heard him up a couple of times last night. I'll talk to him later to make sure he's okay." Paul replies, his brow furrowing because he has been quite worried about the man.

Aaron nods and pulls a leg to his chest. "Right." He says and Paul catching him glancing at him out of the corner of his eye, "So, Jesus, how's your love life going?"

Paul turns to face the other man and quirks his brows at him. "You do remember you have a boyfriend, right?" He asks.

Aaron laughs and smiles broadly at him. "Just call me curious."

Paul chuckles. "Alright," He says, deciding to be nothing but blunt. "I've had a 'friends with benefits' relationship with Eduardo for roughly a year, but I ended it a few days ago... for various reasons." He says. The reason he broke if off being that he's decided to take Maggie's advice and try dating Daryl, and doing that while still having sex with Eduardo, would not end well.

"Various reasons?" Aaron inquires with a single quirked brow.

Paul just stares at him for a moment, and by the grin on his face, Paul realises Aaron has some fucking clue as to what's going on. "Various reasons being, that I have feelings for Daryl and I'm taking Maggie's advice in attempting to date him if he's even into men, or me." He says, having decided to tell him because if anyone were to know, it would be Aaron.

Aaron's grin widens, and he turns to look ahead of him. "Well, he'd kill me for telling you this, but it will end well on both your parts so it will be fine, he's into men, and into you."

The words make Paul's stomach churn, and he swallows the nervous lump in his throat. "Right..." He mumbles, not quite sure how to process the information Aaron has just given to him. He knows he's supposed to be happy, and he probably is, but right now his fear is masking that. "Are we both super fucking obvious about it or something?" He manages to exclaim after being awkwardly silent in his flustered state for several moments.

Aaron chuckles. "No neither of you are obvious, Daryl told me, and as for you, I just have an awesome gaydar."

Paul sighs and rubs his hands over his face. "I've only known for three fucking days, but according to Maggie it's been a lot longer, and I'm just oblivious."

Aaron chuckles softly and reaches over to pat his thigh. "You're doing better than me, me and Eric met when we were in college, and after being roommates for two years, _he_ actually had to tell me that I wasn't straight and had feelings for him." He says with a fond chuckle.

Paul smiles as well, and both he and Aaron are silent for several moments before he stands up, taking a deep breath as he wipes some dirt from his butt. "Well, I'm going to go and take a few hours to get my head together, and then I might talk to Daryl."

"Good luck, Jesus," Aaron tells him with a friendly smile.

* * *

After spending two hours on the balcony of Barrington House, Paul makes his way through the community back to his and Daryl's trailer with a pounding in his heart.

He closes the door behind him and pulls off his boots once he's inside, Ash meows at him from where she's curled up on Daryl's pillow, and he risks the safety of his fingers to scratch behind her ears.

For once, she doesn't bite him and instead nuzzles into his hand like she does with Daryl.

Daryl isn't in the main room of the trailer, but the bathroom light is on with the door slightly ajar, so Paul takes a moment to grab himself a bottle of water from the fridge.

He takes several gulps and tries to calm his heart, but then he hears the distinct sound of retching coming from the bathroom. And as Paul begins to make his way to the bathroom, he notices all the tissues around the couch.

"Daryl?" He says softly as he pushes the door open and steps into the bathroom.

Daryl groans in reply from where he's on his knees and leant over the toilet, throwing up the contents of his stomach into it.

Paul blinks in surprise several times before carefully stepping over to Daryl, he squats down behind him and gently pulls his bangs back from his face while he calmly waits for Daryl to finish.

He does after a few moments and rests his head on his arm. "Hey." He grunts miserably, turning his sweaty and flushed face to look at Paul.

Paul smiles softly at him and strokes some more hair back from his face. "This is why I haven't seen you around today, I'm sorry, I didn't know you were unwell. I would have looked after you if I knew."

Daryl grunts and closes his heavy eyes for a moment. "Don't need to be fuckin' babied."

Paul smirks. "I know, doesn't mean I won't."

Daryl glares at him and then shifts in an attempt to start standing up. Paul stands up too and wraps an arm around Daryl's waist to pull him up, Daryl grunts as he does and would probably shove him off if he had the energy.

"Let's lay you back down, yeah?" Paul says as he walks Daryl out of the bathroom and towards his bed.

"The fuck you doin'? 'M fine on the couch." Daryl grunts as Paul sits him down on the soft mattress of his bed.

"I'm sure you are," Paul replies as he helps him lay down, he tucks the covers over him and somewhere in the back of his mind, he realises how much he likes seeing Daryl laying in his bed. But, he spots some vomit that's gotten caught in the man's facial hair, so he leaves him for a few seconds to go and get a wet cloth.

Daryl sleeping late and Paul hearing him up last night now makes sense, and he calls himself stupid.

Once he has the cloth, he steps back into the main room and over to Daryl. Daryl blinks up at him startled and embarrassed as Paul wipes the warm water over his face.

"The hell you doin' this for?" He grumbles as he shifts on the bed once Paul has finished and placed the cloth in the kitchen sink.

Paul smiles softly because apparently, Daryl gets even grumpier when he's sick. Paul steps over to Daryl's couch and grabs the kitten, cradling her against his chest as he steps back over to Daryl.

"Well, Daryl," Paul says as he hands Ash into Daryl's waiting hands, she meows and nuzzles against his cheek before curling her tiny body up against where his neck meets his shoulder. "In case you are yet to realise it, I care a lot about you."

Daryl quirks a brow at him, and his cheeks flush a little darker, and it's a bit more thrilling to Paul now that he knows Daryl has feelings for him. "Enough to clean vomit off me?" He grunts.

Paul smiles softly and brushes some hair from his face before moving away again to say his next words. "Enough to do pretty much anything for you, Daryl," Paul replies quietly.

Daryl goes silent as Paul begins moving about in the kitchen, he pulls the stew that Eric had made them a few days ago out of the fridge and pours it into a pot on the stove to heat it up.

It takes almost ten minutes for Paul to have the stew ready, and once it is he places it down on his nightstand while he helps Daryl sit up. Ash yowls in protest and trots down to curl up by Daryl's feet instead. "Eat as much of this as you can, but slowly otherwise it will upset your stomach, and you'll throw up again." He instructs the man as he places the bowl into his lap and hands him the spoon.

"Thanks," Daryl mutters and has a small spoonful, eating it slowly before he goes for another.

Paul watches him for a few moments and adjusts the blankets around the man's waist, which earns him a glare. Paul rolls his eyes and reaches up to feel the man's forehead instead, he finds it warmer than it should be, but it's not too bad.

"You're achy, right? That comes with the flu. The bath works, do you want me to run it for you?" He asks softly. The trailer has one of those combined baths and showers. Paul himself rarely baths because of how much hot water it uses, but he knows it will be beneficial for Daryl.

Daryl ponders the offer for a while before nodding slowly. "Thank you." He mumbles and has more stew.

Paul smiles at him and stands up, he steps over to his nightstand and pulls out some warm clothes for Daryl to wear, along with his own pajamas to change into. Once he has them, he steps into the bathroom and places them on the vanity while he turns on the water for the bath.

After he changes, he quickly brushes his hair and puts it up; he also trims his beard back to his preferred length. He washes the hair down that's gotten caught in the sink, reaching over to close the door while he does, so he can have a quick piss before going back out to Daryl.

Once he's finished, he walks back out and finds Daryl still sitting up on the bed but he's stroking Ash and no longer eating. Paul walks over and glances into the bowl, he sees half of what he had served Daryl gone, and it satisfies him enough. "Had enough?" He asks.

Daryl nods. "Sorry," He mumbles.

Paul shakes his head. "Don't worry; I can eat the rest while you're in the bath." He tells him as he takes the bowl and places it onto the table. "Come on now," Paul says and reaches for his hand to help him stand up, he stands with some effort. They get a few steps to the bathroom before Daryl stumbles violently and would have fallen if Paul didn't have a hold of him. "Are you alright?"

Daryl grunts, "Dizzy." Proceeding to sway violently.

Paul nods and keeps them walking into the bathroom, and he sits Daryl down on the toilet seat. "Hold onto the vanity," Paul tells him as he steps away to turn the water off. "Is it passing?" Paul asks as he steps back over to him.

Daryl nods slowly and stands up even slower. "Yeah, almost gone."

Paul nods in relief. "Okay, get undressed, use the toilet and bath now, okay? I'm going to leave the door open, so I can hear you if you need help." Paul tells him with a soft smile and then leaving when Daryl nods in understanding.

He's not exactly happy with leaving Daryl in the bathroom after he's just had a dizzy spell and isn't feeling good, he would much prefer to sit on the toilet seat or on the edge of the bath to make sure the man stays safe. But Daryl won't go for that, so he'll settle for leaving the door open.

Paul leaves the bathroom and sits down to eat the leftover stew, listening carefully for any distress coming from the bathroom as he does. He washes up next and cleans up Daryl's mess of tissues.

Daryl emerges fifteen minutes after entering the bathroom, and Paul helps him get back into the bed before settling down on the couch to read before he goes to bed himself.

* * *

Paul 'babies' Daryl for the next three days, only on the fourth day does Daryl's flu seem to be disappearing and the man getting his strength back.

He's sitting up in Paul's bed comfortably reading when Paul emerges from the bathroom; he had finally been able to have a hot shower as Daryl hadn't had a bath today and used it all.

"Feel better?" Daryl asks with a quirked brow as he watches him walk in.

Paul smiles at him and steps over to the table where he had accidentally left his clothes. "Much better, I've missed showering." He sighs and pulls his boxers up his legs under the towel, making sure it doesn't fall off so Daryl doesn't get an eyeful of his dick.

Paul flushes slightly as he realises Daryl is watching him get dressed, he looks over at him and quirks his brows as he drops the towel to pull his sweats up now that he has boxers on.

Daryl coughs awkwardly and motions to Paul's side, his ribs specifically. "What happened?" He asks curiously, his cheeks still flushed red.

Paul glances down at where he had motioned to, a large healing bruise sits over Paul's ribs. "Oh, there was an incident the other day when me and Aaron were working on the shed. He fell off the ladder, I caught him, but then I slipped on the ice and went down, and he crushed me." He says with a chuckle and smiles softly when Daryl smirks.

"You should keep your skills to scavenging, what you're good at." The other man says with a chuckle and closes his book.

Paul rolls his eyes but can't help smiling as he approaches. "You know, there was a compliment in there, so I'm not going to retaliate." He tells him and pushes some bangs back from his forehead to be able to feel his temperature. "You're fever's gone, I'd say it'll only be a couple more days before you're back to normal again."

"Good. Sick of being useless, need to get out and set more traps with Aaron. Not letting him go out there himself, or anyone. It ain't safe."

Paul nods and swallows nervously as he sits down on the bed by Daryl. "Well, speaking of Aaron, I want to talk to you about something."

"Alright?" Daryl replies quietly, and Paul watches as the man swallows thickly and shifts nervously. He wonders if Daryl has an idea of what he's going to bring up.

Paul sighs and takes a moment to look up at the ceiling, hoping to calm down the thud of his heart, but when it doesn't work after several seconds, he looks back at Daryl.

"I was talking to Aaron, and long story short, I told him how I feel about you, and he told me how you feel about me."

Daryl closes his eyes and huffs through his nose as he rubs a hand over his face. "Right..." He mumbles, and his face goes so red, Paul wonders if it would leave a burn on his hand.

Paul smiles softly, and his lips twitch with how nervous he is. "This terrifies me; I don't know if you're feeling the same or not. It has been a long time since I felt like this, a long fucking time. I am trying to deal with, trying not to be so terrified by it." Paul begins, the thumps not at all calming down but Daryl's looking at him and listening to every word intently. "I have never been in a serious relationship before, I've told you that. I only realised I had feelings for you a week ago, I know I've had them a lot longer though. I knew that you wouldn't be like the other guys I've been with, that you'd be all in. And to me, that is incredibly scary, but if you let me, I want to try."

Paul feels like he could throw up as he waits for Daryl to answer, so he swallows thickly and fiddles with his thumbs.

After a while, Paul looks up at Daryl and finds the man looking at him, chewing at a hangnail on his thumb and blushing adorably. "How're you gonna try?" He asks curiously, his voice still a little raspy from his fever and there's the tiniest of nervous smiles on his lips.

Paul takes a deep breath and smiles back, deciding to be brave, he reaches for the hand that Daryl's chewing and takes it into his own. "Well, when you're back to being a hundred percent and not constantly growling at me," Daryl rolls his eyes at that and Paul smirks. "I'd like to ask you to go on a date with me?"

Daryl smiles softly. "How do you go on a date in this world?" He asks.

Paul laughs softly and brings Daryl's hand to his mouth to kiss it softly. "I'll figure something out, and I will be romantic as fuck." He jokes.

Daryl huffs a laugh and blushes. "Alright, let's do it."


	17. Chapter 17

Paul places his final candle down on the railing and then pulls his lighter from his pocket, flicking on the flame and then lighting all of the candles he has spread out.

He's set up their date on the back balcony of Barrington House; they have a beautiful view of the horses down below them and the woods if they look over the walls. They also have privacy, as many people still mill around the main area of the community until the late hours, and as the sun still won't set for another hour or so, it would be many hours before they would have privacy on the front balcony.

Once he has all the candles lit, he takes a moment to look around the balcony before he goes and collects Daryl from their trailer. He had promised the man he was going to be romantic, and that's just what he's doing. He's spent an hour setting up the balcony, has asked Eric and Lilly to cook them a nice dinner, and he got ready in Maggie's room, so he's able to pick Daryl up like he would if it was the old world.

He has candles lit everywhere along with just one of the balcony's actual lights; it makes the balcony light enough that they can see properly, but still dim enough that it still looks romantic.

The table's set with comfortable, colourful cushions on the hard metal seats. The plates aren't on the table yet, but there are wine glasses, even though there's no actual wine because Paul doesn't drink and Daryl doesn't like wine, it's just water, and Paul's sure Daryl will make fun of him for it.

In the corner of the balcony is a couch with a coffee table to match. There are several blankets and pillows ready for them to use, on the coffee table Paul has some snacks for after dinner along with the two photo albums that Daryl had given him, he hopes that after dinner they can chat and Paul could tell Daryl about his memories in the photos.

He smiles softly at his handiwork and then steps back inside, he looks at himself in the mirror that hangs nearby on the wall of the hallway. He had put on a pair of black slacks that he got from Eduardo, they fit well enough, but he also had to borrow a belt because he's a bit slimmer in the hips and waist than Eduardo is. He cleaned his boots as best he could, and they now look somewhat presentable. He's wearing a simple white button up that he's rolled to above his elbows. He's washed his hair and beard, and has pulled his long chestnut strands into a half up half down style, Maggie had suggested it, and he liked the look of it, so he kept it.

He knows he's probably gone too hard, put in a little too much effort, but Paul knows that Daryl has never had something like this before. And Paul wants it to be as special for him, for them, as he can make it.

He takes a few moments in front of the mirror to close his eyes and take some deep breaths, his heart is pounding, and his stomach is swirling with nerves and excitement. With one last deep breath, he turns on his heels and begins to make his way down the hall.

* * *

Five minutes later, he arrives at his and Daryl's trailer. He had stopped for a few minutes to check on the progress in the kitchen, Eric and Lilly were doing good and would have the food brought up to them within fifteen minutes. Eric had pushed him out the door of the kitchen when he realised Paul was stalling, with a kiss to his cheek and a cheer of good luck.

Paul takes a deep breath and knocks on the door of the trailer. Several moments pass before Daryl replies.

"Coming!" He calls out, and Paul's brows furrow at the distressed tone of his voice.

Paul pushes the door open and steps inside. He finds Daryl sitting on the couch with his head in his hands, and he immediately stands up when Paul steps inside. Daryl wipes at his face quickly and clears his throat nervously.

"Daryl," Paul says softly and takes a cautious step towards him. "What's the matter?"

Daryl shakes his head. "I'm jus'... jus' havin' a moment." He grunts.

Paul's overcome with worry and confusion, and he gently reaches out to take Daryl's hand. "Come here," He says and sits down on the bed, encouraging Daryl to sit with him. "Talk to me, what's the matter?"

Daryl sighs heavily and rubs his hands over his face. "I'm really sorry. You've put so much effort into tonight, and I'm here bein' an asshole and ruinin' it." He groans into his hands and looks up at Paul with a sad expression.

Paul shakes his head. "Don't apologise, if you're not up to having our date tonight, that's okay. We can do it another night, or not at all if you don't want." He says the last bit quietly, really that's not what Daryl wants, but he, of course, doesn't want to force or pressure him into anything.

Paul's relieved when Daryl immediately shakes his head. "No, I want to, Paul. It's just, I got to thinkin' and started to wonder and then got... worried, I guess." Daryl replies shakily, staring down at his lap before finally meeting Paul's eyes.

"Worried about what? Us?"

"I just, can't help thinking... Why me? I don't want to be, cause I know it's stupid. And ain't dumb enough to not realise that we'd work, that I want us to work. Couldn't help it." He mumbles after being silent for several moments.

Paul smiles softly, loving how Daryl pours out how he's feeling somewhat easily. Paul thinks that he's successfully broken down Daryl's walls.

He shifts closer to Daryl and reaches up to quickly push some hair behind Daryl's ears. "Why don't you tell me exactly what's bothering you, okay?" He offers softly.

Daryl nods. "You've got a lot more experience than I do. Even though you said you ain't had a serious relationship, you still know what you're doing somewhat. I know nothing. I haven't ever been on a date, kissed someone, I'm still a virgin at forty-two." He manages to tell him after awkwardly clearing his throat and fiddling with his fingers. "I didn't even know I was gay until three months ago."

Paul smiles softly and retakes Daryl's hand, squeezing it. "Daryl, none of that bothers me. I don't care how much or how little experience you have, I want you, and that comes with you." He tells the other man honestly, all while his stomach continues to swirl with nerves.

Daryl looks at him for several moments, and his cheeks flush a deep red. "Yeah?" He asks softly.

Paul smiles fondly. "Yeah." He replies and stands up from the bed, still holding Daryl's hand. "Do you think you're up to going on our date now?"

Daryl nods and smiles at him as he stands up from the bed. "Hell yeah, let's go."

* * *

They walk onto the balcony with their hands still clasped together, and Paul can't help smiling widely as watches Daryl's expression when he sees the set up on the balcony for the first time. "You did all of this?" Daryl asks with a quirked brow as he looks at Paul.

Paul nods and places his hands on Daryl's shoulders to lead him over to the seat, Paul pulls his chair out for him and chuckles softly when Daryl rolls his eyes. "I did warn you I was going to be romantic, didn't I?" Paul says with a smile and then sits opposite him. "And yep, I did all this. Except for dinner which Eric and Lilly cooked, and Eric should be bringing it up in a minute."

Daryl smiles. "You paying Eric to be a waiter?" He asks with a chuckle, but his nervous flush still covers his cheeks, and Paul's sure his match.

"No, he offered," Paul replies with a smirk and reaches for his glass.

Daryl watches him do so with a quirked brow. "Did you put water in wine glasses?" He asks with a smirk of his own slowly spreading over his lips.

"Yes, I did. Don't make fun of me."

Daryl laughs softly and reaches for his glass, holding it out. "Ain't making fun of you."

Paul squints his brows at him playfully and raises his own glass to Daryl's and taps them together with a clink. "To first dates." He says cheesily with a grin.

Daryl rolls his eyes. "Cheers." He says and then sips at his water.

Fifteen minutes later, they're eating their delicious pasta dinner and chatting happily as they do.

"You actually did that?" Daryl asks, his face litten up as he pops some more pasta into his mouth.

"Yes, I did!" Paul laughs. "I was a dumb fourteen-year-old! we didn't make pocket money at the group home; I had no choice!"

"You stole a gay porno mag and got caught by the owner who chased you for three blocks!" Daryl exclaims, his lips spread in a wide smile as he laughs. "It's fucking hilarious. Did the guy just give up and let you have it?"

Paul goes quiet at the question, and he smirks from behind his glass. "No, I kind of ran into traffic to get away, and he wasn't game enough to follow."

Daryl snorts and shakes his head. "So you were always some sort of daredevil, huh?"

Paul chuckles. "That's your opinion." He replies and waggles his eyebrows. "What about you? What's something stupid you did when you were a kid?"

Daryl huffs through his nose, and Paul smiles warmly as he watches the man think. "I once got drunk with my brother and some of his friends when he came back on break from the army; it was my first time drinking, so I got smashed. I decided it would be a good idea to try and ride my brother's bike, smashed it into a tree and destroyed it."

Paul winces. "Oh, no. How'd he react?" He asks curiously, knowing Daryl's brother is a fair bit of an asshole.

"He was pissed at first. But he got over it pretty quick cause it was his fault I was drinking in the first place. We actually spent the rest of his time of rebuilding a new bike from scratch. It was fun."

Paul can't help smiling at him. "Do you think he'd be happy for you now? That you have a family that loves you. That you met me?" He asks softly and curiously.

Daryl looks up at him from his pasta. "I think so, yeah. The family bit at least. As for me being gay and dating a gay guy, he'd be less enthusiastic, but he'd eventually get over it."

"Yeah?"

"He loved me in his own fucked up way, and he would've got over if you make me happy," Daryl replies quietly, giving Paul a shy smile.

Paul's lips spread in a broad and shy smile, feeling a light flutter of butterflies in his stomach and he could roll his eyes at himself because he feels like a dumb teenager. "I'm making you happy then?"

"What do you think?" Daryl snips back playfully, and Paul chuckles.

An hour and a half later, they've finished dinner and looking through Paul's photo albums, which Daryl had loved, asking plenty of questions about Paul's sister, mother, and Luciana, but only occasionally would he ask about his father. Paul appreciated that.

They're sitting on opposite ends of the couch and facing each other, smoking a cigarette each and munching on the snacks Paul had put there. Daryl is mostly sticking to the chocolate and candies due to his sweet-tooth.

"Alright," Daryl says, shifting slightly on the couch. "I know almost everything about you, tell me something I don't."

Paul hums and takes a deep drag of his cigarette. "I can sing, and play guitar and piano."

Daryl raises his brow. "Really? Never heard you do any of that."

Paul shrugs. "I don't have a guitar or piano, and I sing when I know you're not home."

Daryl chuckles. "You should let me hear you sometime."

"Maybe," Paul replies, blushing slightly. "What about you? Tell me something I don't know about you."

"Uh..." Daryl mumbles as he thinks, twirling his cigarette. "I can sew."

Paul smiles. "Really? I can't, not well at least."

"I'll teach you then."

"If you're teaching me things, you should teach me to shoot your crossbow."

Daryl looks at him and quirks a brow as his lips twitch. "You want to?"

Paul nods enthusiastically, and Daryl grins.

* * *

It's another hour when they're finally arriving back at their trailer door, their hands are clasped together, and they climb the stairs together.

"This is usually the part where I stop, kiss you goodnight and then leave, but as we live together..." Paul tells the man with a soft smile and their both wearing matching flushes on their cheeks.

"What are you gonna do then?" Daryl asks quietly, leaning against the railing of the porch and biting his lip nervously.

Paul smiles at him and steps a bit closer, hands moving up to rest on his shoulders. "Well," Paul says fondly. "I would still very much like to kiss you, and then we could do what we do every night, read for a bit together and then go to sleep."

Daryl's lips twitch, and Paul sees him glance down at his shyly, his cheeks so red he looks sunburnt. "Sounds good." He mumbles in reply.

Paul can't help chuckling softly as he moves close enough to Daryl that their chests press together and Paul reaches up to cup Daryl's cheeks, and he gently places his lips on the other man's.

Daryl's tense, so tense that Paul is about to pull away and ask him if he's alright, but right as he's about to, Daryl's chapped lips lightly press back against Paul's.

Paul smiles against his lips when he feels Daryl's big hands cautiously grip his waist.

Paul pulls back slightly for just a moment to change the angle of his neck to a more comfortable one, and he presses his lips against Daryl's again, slightly harder, and he traces his tongue once over Daryl's bottom lip before pulling away completely.

When he does, Daryl keeps his eyes closed, even after Paul has dropped his hands from his face. Paul's lips spread in a broad smile and he leans forward again to gently kiss Daryl's cheek.

"How was that?" Paul asks softly, curious because Daryl had told him earlier on in the night that he had never kissed anyone.

Daryl's lips part and move, in what seems to be an attempt to form words. When they don't, he finally opens his eyes, revealing the blue irises to Paul. He nods, and Paul smiles.


	18. Chapter 18

Paul sighs happily as he looks up at the sky above him, squinting slightly at the sun. The sun is finally starting to get some real heat in it, signaling the start of March and Spring, just like their calendars are telling them.

Paul's sitting on the table part of the picnic bench just outside his and Daryl's trailer, he's got his feet sitting on the seat with Daryl sat between them and his head resting against Paul's thigh. Daryl's munching on an apple and watching with a smirk as Carl sits on the ground with Ash and pulls an old shoelace across the ground for her to chase.

The feeling of warmth on his face is relaxing, and he's excited about it not to be so cold anymore, for the snow to finally melt. He hates the cold, he really does, it's just too impractical.

But with winter at an end, and Spring now starting, it won't be long until Paul carries out their plan of executing Negan. Just two weeks away, to be specific.

He only has two weeks left to spend with Daryl and the others before he has to hide out in the woods for whoever knows how long. At the thought, Paul sits up and shifts closet to Daryl so he can lean down and wrap his arms around the man's neck and rest his chin on his head.

Paul kisses the top of his head and smells his hair, which he's pleasantly surprised to find smells like their shampoo and is freshly washed. Daryl doesn't react much to the touch, just leans his head back a little and pecks the inside of Paul's wrist.

It's been just over a month since their first date, and they're going strong, still very much enjoying each other's company. Not much has changed between them just like Paul thought, they just kiss and cuddle and go on dates. They're yet to share the bed or have sex, which Paul is entirely okay with, he's happy going whatever pace Daryl needs.

Paul's too busy lost in his thoughts to realise Enid is sprinting up to them.

"Daryl, Jesus!" She calls to get their attention and Paul finally looks up, finding the girl very flustered and worried.

He stands up from the table as his brows furrow. "Enid, what's the matter?" He asks her, filled with concern.

She pants a couple of times to get her breath back, leaning against Carl who's now got an arm around her waist. "Maggie's gone into labour." She tells them.

Immediately, Paul and Daryl spring into action and begin rushing to Barrington House with Enid shouting to them that Maggie's in her room.

They enter Barrington House within seconds and immediately make their way to the stairs to go to the second floor where Maggie's bedroom is. In their rush, Daryl manages to slip and smash his knee on the wooden stairs, and Paul pulls him up, making sure he's okay before dragging him down the hall.

Paul manages to compose himself when they get to Maggie's door, and he stops to knock on the heavy wooden door. "It's me and Daryl!" He calls out after he has, desperately trying to ignore the violent swirl in his stomach.

"Come in!" Maggie calls to them, and Paul pushes the door open and makes his way inside, Daryl following behind him with their hands latched together.

Paul smiles softly when he sees her, she's laying in her bed with her legs down flat and a blanket over them to her hips. Her hair has been pushed back with a headband as it's still too short to tie up correctly, there's a slight glow of sweat on her face and she smiles when they enter as she rubs a hand over her big belly.

Sandra is in the room too, she's standing by Maggie's nightstand fiddling with some things, but she begins to move when she spots them. "Alright, now that you've got some company, I'll be off." She says as she passes Maggie, petting her cheek for a moment. "I'll come and check on you in an hour, and if you need me before that, I will be in the med trailer. There are ice chips in the kitchen's freezer when you need them, you can't have anything else. That was a strict enough rule before the outbreak, even more so now."

"Thank you," Maggie replies with a nod and smiles at her gratefully.

She leaves with a smile directed at Paul and Daryl, closing the door behind her once she's out.

Paul makes his way to the bed and carefully sits down in the spare space beside Maggie, immediately taking her hand when she offers it to him, and she watches the way his hands are shaking.

"How are you doing?" He asks quietly, his voice a little weak and he clears his throat, glancing over at Daryl who has now sat down on the opposite side of the bed.

She smiles fondly and reaches up to push some hair behind his ears. "Better than you apparently. You're a nervous wreck, and I'm actually completely calm." She replies.

Paul sighs and rubs a hand on his face. "I'm sorry. I'm trying not to be." He mumbles, feeling a droplet of sweat roll down his back.

She laughs softly and then kisses his hand. "It's alright, someone needs to be nervous, and no offense, but I would rather it be you than me at the moment."

Paul manages to huff a laugh as well and he uses his other hand to rub her belly softly, something she's quite used to and okay with him doing. He has a strange fascination with feeling the baby kick, he's not quite sure why, but Maggie encourages it in the hopes it will make him less terrified of the baby when he actually arrives.

"How long have you been having contractions for?" Daryl asks, speaking for the first time since entering the room. Paul looks over and finds that he's been adjusting Maggie's covers.

"About four hours," Maggie tells him, looking over with a smile. "I'm already four centimeters dilated, so let's hope that means it won't take too long for me to get into active labour." She says hopefully.

Daryl nods in understanding. "Alright, we'll stay as long as you need us to." He assures her and Paul immediately nods in agreement, though the idea of having to watch Maggie being in severe pain during later contractions and when delivering Hershel makes him feel like he's going to throw up, he would damn well stay if she needs him to.

"I'd love if you could stay until I have to start pushing, I'd like just Sandra and Siddiq there for that." She tells them.

Daryl and Paul nod in agreement. "Of course," Daryl replies. "Siddiq helping out?" He asks curiously.

Maggie nods and shifts slightly, Paul helps her and adjusts the pillows behind her head and back. "He asked a few weeks ago if I would be comfortable with him being Sandra's assistant, to help her out but to also get some experience for himself. Which is a good idea, so it's fine."

"Having an extra pair of hands wouldn't hurt," Paul says, and Maggie nods. "So, what can we do to help pass the time?"

Maggie sighs. "Well, some ice chips might be nice, and we could talk about Negan and the plan." She offers.

Paul nods. "I'll go get the ice chips, I'll be back soon." He says, leaning down to peck her forehead as he stands up and then he quietly makes his way out of the room.

He finds Barrington House's kitchen abandoned, which makes sense as lunchtime has already passed and dinner preparations don't begin until about five O'clock.

He makes his way to the large freezer and pulls out a tray of ice chips. He cracks them out of the tray and into the glass, once he has them out he refills the tray and puts it back in the freezer.

He's about to make his way back up to Maggie's bedroom when it properly hits him, that Maggie's in labour, that she's having a little baby within a few hours, that he's going to be an uncle.

He struggles to take a breath, and he leans over the counter, squeezing his eyes closed. He's terrified for Maggie, terrified that something could happen to her because he loves her so much and he can't lose her.

That's how Carl finds him. The boy walks into the kitchen quietly and just wraps an arm around Jesus' waist as he stands beside him, resting his jaw on his shoulder. "You gotta calm down, Jesus." He tells him softly. "You can freak out later, but right now, Maggie needs you. So take your ice chips, and go to her."

Paul sighs loudly and stands up a little straighter, he wipes his hands over his face and dabs at some sweat on forehead. He nods at the boy gratefully and squeezes his shoulder before grabbing his cup of ice chips and making his way out of the kitchen and to the stairs.

* * *

Five hours later, Paul and Daryl are back at their trailer and waiting for either Siddiq or Sandra to come and collect them once Maggie has delivered Hershel and is ready for visitors.

They're sitting on the couch, Daryl with his back against the armrest and stretched out. Paul's half on top of him with his head on his chest as he tries to make himself relax, which he can't seem to do until he knows Hershel is birthed safely. Daryl's holding him tightly and stroking his hair and shoulders, Paul's not used to it.

Sure there's been some cuddling between them, but nothing like this. Paul doesn't think he's ever done this before. He's holding onto Daryl like he's a lifeline and he's allowing the other man to comfort him, and most of all, Paul's letting himself be upset and scared.

"Do you want something to eat or drink, Paul?" Daryl asks softly after they've been laying like that for a good hour, pushing some hair out of Paul's face.

"No, thank you," Paul replies softly, smiling a little at Daryl's sweet offer.

Paul's lips twitch when he feels Daryl carefully press his lips against the top of Paul's head. Paul's still surprised with how comfortable Daryl has been tonight, he's usually fine with small bits off affection or short cuddling sessions, much more he gets a little freaked out and uncomfortable.

They sit in silence for a few more moments before there's a knock on their door. Paul immediately scrambles off of Daryl, kicking him accidentally in the process and rushes to the door, pulling it open so quickly and violently it takes Siddiq by surprise, and he almost falls down the stairs.

"Are they both okay?!" Paul asks, his voice loud and his eyes wide, he feels Daryl take his hand.

Siddiq smiles widely at him and nods. "They're both absolutely fine and waiting for you."

With that, Paul pushes past him and rushes to the front door of Barrington House, and after a few moments, he hears Daryl behind him.

* * *

Daryl pushes the door open and steps inside once Maggie has called them in, and Paul follows nervously a few seconds later. The scariest part of Maggie safely giving birth has passed, now Paul has to actually meet the baby.

Paul watches as Daryl calmy makes his way over to the bed and sits down beside Maggie, and he feels a little jealous at how easily the man takes the baby into his arms. He doesn't even seem scared to be holding him, he just smiles down at the baby and leans over to kiss Maggie's forehead.

The pang of jealously quickly fades and is instead overcome with a fondness for seeing Daryl hold the tiny baby, and Maggie sitting right by watching him with a broad smile on her tired face.

Maggie looks up at him after several moments, and her wide smile turns into a smaller, sweeter one. She holds out her hand and motions for him to come over.

He debates it for a few seconds, but ultimately decides to stop keeping his safe distance. He takes Maggie's hand when he's close enough and then leans down, "I'm so proud of you, I love you." He murmurs into her ear as he wraps his arms around her carefully and kisses her cheek.

She kisses him back and allows him to stand straight again.

Finally, Paul steps over to Daryl and stands behind him, looking over his shoulder at the newborn. Paul can't help the little smile that spreads over his face, Hershel Jr is snuggled up in Daryl's arms and wrapped in a blue blanket with stars on it that Paul had found for him. He's chubby, and his dark eyes are blinking around curiously, what Paul thinks he finds the cutest though, is his head of long thick black hair.

Paul has a few more minutes of blissfully looking at the baby before Daryl stands up. "Come here," He says to Paul and holds the baby out slightly.

Paul's eyes widen, and he immediately takes a step back. "No, thank you." He squeaks, and both Maggie and Daryl make noises of amusement.

"Paul, come and hold the baby," Daryl repeats.

Paul shakes his head and crosses his arms. "No! I don't know how. I'll hurt him." He replies, a desperate look on his face that he moves between the both of them.

Daryl rolls his eyes and steps close to Paul, and before Paul knows it, Daryl is transferring the baby into his arms and he has no way to get out of it or the baby would fall to the floor (even though Paul knows Daryl would never let that happen, it's still a terrifying enough thought that he moves his arms into a cradle that Daryl places Hershel in).

Daryl steps back satisfied and sits back down on the bed, and he and Maggie laugh softly.

Paul glares at them both, his entire body is stiff and he's standing with his legs weirdly spread apart from when he had tried to move away from Daryl. He looks down at the baby and is pleased to find the transfer hadn't seemed to disrupt him, he just wriggles. The wriggling makes Paul let out a strange noise of worry he's never heard himself make before, and he looks to Maggie for help.

"Relax, Paul!" She laughs, smiling at him so fondly it almost makes him smile back. "He's just stretching."

"I'm going to drop him! Take him back!" He says desperately, and he's never felt so ridiculous in his life.

Daryl snorts a laugh as he watches Paul and the baby, a broad smile on his face. "Stop being so tense, you'll be more comfortable if you relax."

"I'd be more comfortable if I knew he was safely being held by one of you two who know what you're doing, unlike me!" He exclaims, and the tone of irritation and genuine distress must be clear in his voice because Daryl stands up and makes his way to him.

Paul thinks he's going to take the baby back, but he instead starts moving Paul's arms and the baby into a better position. "Here, like this. Stop stressin', you can keep this baby safe just fine." He tells him soothingly, and once he has the baby and Paul more comfortable, he presses a kiss to Paul's temple and then directs him to come and sit on the bed.

The idea of walking with the baby is completely terrifying, but Paul manages to do it.

Paul and Daryl stay with Maggie and the baby for a few more hours before Enid returns and tells them to go and sleep, that she'll be staying with Maggie. Paul and Daryl go, realising they've hogged Maggie and the baby enough.

They get back to their trailer and retire to their respective beds, falling asleep quickly.


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING!!!  
> In this chapter, they find a walker baby and Paul has to put it down. Later on, there is talk about a newborn baby that died of sudden infant death syndrome (It is not Hershel Jr, don't worry), there is also talk of past rape, and pedophillia is mentioned, no pedophillia actually occurs, but it is said that it could or would have in the future if not for certain circumstances.

The air is still and peaceful around them; it's cool but no longer an uncomfortable cold anymore. It will warm up more as it's only just before nine am, still plenty of time in the day.

Paul and Daryl had left the community at sunrise to be able to get to the cabin and make the most out of their day. Once they get to the cabin, they will dump the supplies for Paul's stay that they're carrying, and then they will ride to the nearby small town through the woods and have a quick look around. After they've finished doing that and have returned to the cabin, they will set up safety precautions, such as lining the clearing with rope with noisy things attached to it, this will alert Paul of walkers or anyone else that's trying to get too close.

Paul runs over the plan in his head repeatedly as they ride, Daryl's in silence beside him and Paul knows it's because it's just starting to sink into the other man what Paul is doing in two days.

Paul looks over at him, finding him with a furrowed brow and a small frown, his hands loose and relaxed where he holds the reins and his body rocking slowly with Kimber's pace.

"Are you okay?" Paul asks him softly, his voice breaking the still quiet of the woods.

Daryl looks over at him, and after a moment, he nods. "Yeah, just thinking."

Paul sighs softly and carefully leans over to squeeze his arm quickly before righting himself in the saddle again. "I'm going to be just fine. I have done things a lot harder. You don't need to worry about me."

"Just because I don't need to, don't mean I won't. I can't help it, don't know how this is going to pan out."

"I know, just try." Paul sighs.

Daryl doesn't say anything after that, and neither does Paul, they spend the last fifteen minutes of the ride to the cabin in silence.

When they arrive, they dismount the horses and tether them to the pen's fence, not bothering to untack them and take them inside the pen as they're only dumping the supplies before their off again.

They both step inside the cabin, arms full of the horses' saddlebags and both of them carrying large packs on their backs.

Paul drops his saddlebags down onto the bed with a sigh.

"Should we get a start now, or head straight to the town?" Daryl asks from the table behind him.

"Well, we'll need to take the stuff out of these packs so we can gather more things, but other than that," Paul tells him, looking back over his shoulder to give him a small smile before he starts on his pack, pulling the contents out an laying them onto the bed.

"You ready?" Daryl asks a few minutes later, holding his now empty pack and waiting for Paul in the doorway.

Paul nods, grabbing his pack and then taking Daryl's hand when he passes him in the doorway.

* * *

An hour later, they're placing the horse's tack on the patio in an old home's backyard. The backyard and surrounding houses are clear and safe, so they've decided to untack the horses and leave them in the backyard while they take the packs and raid the houses.

"I already checked the first six when I first came here, so we'll do the other few," Daryl tells him as they walk down the street, Paul holding his knife tightly in his hand and Daryl the same with his crossbow.

"Lead the way," Paul replies, tucking his knife back into its sheath for a few moments while he pulls his hair up into a knot. He glances over at Daryl, who had been watching him do so, and he quirks a brow. "Yes?" He asks playfully, in some desperate attempt to lighten the mood as Daryl has been down and irritable all day.

Daryl looks at him for a few moments before shrugging awkwardly and adjusting his hold on the crossbow. "You just look nice with your hair up." He mumbles, a dark red flush on his cheeks.

Paul's lips spread in a small smile against his will. "Thanks." He replies, flushing himself because that's the first compliment he's got from Daryl about his appearance, and he wasn't expecting it.

Daryl doesn't reply with words, he just grunts instead.

* * *

"Daryl?" Paul calls as he finishes placing some folded shirts into his pack, they're in the final house and need to head back to the cabin because Paul would prefer to get back to The Hilltop before dark. Paul's brows furrow when he receives no reply from Daryl, huffing and ignoring the roll in his stomach, he throws his pack across the floor, so it lands by Daryl's near the door and then begins making his way up the stairs to the second floor of the house.

He checks the first room, and office and finds no sign of Daryl, then a bedroom, calling Daryl the entire time and now he's getting worried. Finally, he comes to the end of the hallway where he finally finds Daryl, and he's so overcome with relief that he doesn't notice anything but him.

"Daryl, when I call out to you, I need you to reply," Paul says, worry gone and now replaced with irritation, but he then realises what room he's standing in.

He's in a nursery. Daryl is standing in front of the crib; his hands braced on the white wood. Only then does Paul begin to hear the quiet growls, swallowing thickly, he takes a step towards Daryl and the crib.

Looking over Daryl's shoulder, he's only able to manage it for a few moments before he squeezes his eyes closed and gently takes Daryl's hand.

In the crib, lays a tiny newborn baby, a walker baby.

Paul puts both of his hands on Daryl's hips and turns him around. Daryl looks down at him with a parted mouth and watery blue eyes, a look of shock on his face. Paul's heart breaks at the sight.

Paul had been lucky, until now, to have never had to see a walker baby, he's seen children, but a baby no more than a month old is so disturbing that he's not surprised by Daryl's reaction. He would probably be the same if he weren't so focused on the other man.

Paul gently takes Daryl's face in one of his hands and holds his hip with the other. "It's okay. It's okay." He whispers because that's all he knows to say at that moment. Daryl's head turns to look back at the baby, but Paul stops him before he can and shakes his head as he looks into Daryl's ocean blue irises. "Go downstairs, get our bags and start to make your way back to the horses, alright? I'll put her down and catch up."

Daryl seems to look right through Paul for several seconds before he finally takes a deep breath and nods, leaning into Paul's hand for a second before leaving the nursery.

Paul watches him leave for several moments before he takes a deep breath and takes several moments to gather himself, he then steps over to the crib as he pulls a smaller knife from his belt.

After putting down the baby, Paul covered her with her blanket and laid the stuffed monkey beside her out of respect before he made his way out of the bedroom.

He begins walking down the street, and after turning a corner, he spots Daryl walking sluggishly and breaks into a jog to catch up to him, calling out to him as he does.

Daryl comes to a stop when he hears Paul's voice, and he turns around, dropping the packs to the ground.

Paul smiles softly at him and slows to a walk when he's just a few meters away. He's taken by surprise when Daryl holds his hand out, but he doesn't hesitate in accepting it, and he pulls Daryl into an embrace. He wraps one arm around the man's waist and cups the back of his head with the other. Daryl's own hands are brushing awkwardly by Paul's outer thighs, but his face is buried in Paul's neck.

Paul holds him for a few minutes before Daryl steps back, wiping at his eyes with red cheeks. "Let's go, wanna avoid going back to The Hilltop in the dark."

Paul nods and picks up his pack, throwing it onto his back and then offering his hand to Daryl, who shyly takes it as they begin making their way down the street to the house they safely left the horses at.

* * *

Twelve hours later, they've settled into the trailer for the night. They're both on Paul's bed, Paul sitting with his back against the wall as he sharpens his knives and Daryl lays beside him with his head on Paul's pillow beside Paul's hip and his eyes closed as he strokes Ash. The quickly growing one-eyed black kitten is laying on Daryl's tummy and purring.

"Paul?" Daryl says softly after they've been in silence for a long time.

Paul hums and looks down at him, finding the man looking up at him with tired eyes. "Yeah?" He asks quietly, reaching over to brush some hair from his eyes quickly. And he's still in awe that he gets to touch Daryl like this, soft affection touches that the older man adores. Hell, Paul never even thought he'd have a boyfriend again, yet here he is with Daryl.

Daryl avoids his eyes for a few seconds and then back at Paul as he takes a deep breath. "Wanna tell you somethin', 'bout why I was so fucked up today." He mumbles.

"Daryl," Paul starts softly with a slightly furrowed brow. "I hope you know you don't need to explain why you got upset and were a bit shaken up today. It's a disturbing thing to have to see." He says, still feeling a little sick to his stomach himself when he thinks of the baby and having to put her down.

Daryl shakes his head. "It's something I wanna tell you. I've never talked about it before. Not even with Carol or Rick."

Paul puts his knives down and cups Daryl's cheek. "Well, it means a lot to me that you trust me and are comfortable enough to tell me." He tells the other man, giving him a small smile.

Daryl nods and spends almost a minute taking steady breaths and swallowing what Paul assumes is a lump in his throat. Finally, he reaches for Paul's hand that isn't cupping his cheek and holds it tightly; Paul thinks he must need it to ground him.

"I had a little sister. Her name was Allison," Daryl whispers, and Paul can't help his lips from parting in shock because Daryl really had never talked about or even hinted at having a sister.

When he goes quiet for several moments, Paul takes it upon himself to encourage him to keep going. "Did she pass away before the outbreak?" He asks quietly, running his thumb over the roughness of Daryl's brow.

Daryl nods. "Long before. She died three months before my mom did, she was newborn, three weeks old. She died from sudden infant death syndrome, no explanation why." He says, pain evident in his voice and a stubborn tear manages to escape from his eye, and Paul brushes it away with his thumb. "It was morning, I woke up and went to check on her because my dad was gone somewhere, mom was asleep. I found her, didn't even realise she was dead for a few minutes, jus' though she was sleeping. That's why I got so messed up today, I hadn't thought about her in years, seeing the ba-walker, reminded me of her."

Seconds later, Daryl begins sobbing, and Paul sighs sadly, leaning down and pulling Daryl into a sitting position so Paul can wrap his arms around him. After a few minutes, Paul's taken by surprise when Daryl is suddenly charging off the bed and beginning to pace, running his trembling hands over face and through his hair.

"Daryl?" Paul asks carefully, stroking Ash quickly who had been startled by Daryl's movements.

"Wanna know what the worst thing is?" Daryl exclaims, standing still finally to look over at Paul, his cheeks red and wet and his shoulders heaving with his ragged breaths.

Paul is a little off-put by Daryl's sudden display of anger and distress, but he realises that after Daryl saying he's never spoken about Allison before, that he needs to get it off his chest. So, Paul stands up but doesn't approach him, and he asks, "What is it, Daryl?"

Daryl stares at him for a moment, jaw clenched hard and sweat is beginning to form on his temples as pulls his hands into fists and almost growls out his answer. "She was probably fucking better off not growing up in that house!" He bellows, and Paul's eyes widen when Daryl suddenly grabs at the hem of his sweatshirt and rips it from his body, turning around as he does.

Paul's lips part as he takes in the sight of Daryl's back, pale skin covered in thick ropes of purple and pink scar tissue, some of the scars raised and some sunken. Paul knows what most of them have come from, a belt. Paul knew that Daryl's father was an asshole, and Paul had figured that he was abusive, but he would never have guessed it was this bad. "Daryl," He whispers and takes a step towards him, but doesn't touch him.

Daryl turns around to face Paul, and Paul feels his stomach and heart clench at the sight.

Paul runs his hands over the thick scars, and he wants to sob at how much he imagines they would've hurt, how much pain Daryl would have been in. He doesn't understand how Daryl's father could do that to him, Daryl, such a beautiful precious person. What it does make him know, is why Daryl found it so hard to connect with people, why he's so protective of his family. But most of all, why he loves the affection that Paul gives him so much, even if he can't admit it or that it does get too much for him sometimes. Because he's starved for it, he never got it as a child, and Paul knows he never got it as an adult either. It breaks Paul's heart because more than anything, Daryl deserves to be loved, cared for and protected. Paul's overcome with how much he wants to do that for him.

"My dad beat the absolute shit out of me, my brother and my mom." He says, voice thick with his accent and anger, but Paul still keeps his distance. "But, he used to rape my mom too, she got pregnant with Allison because of it, she didn't want more kids, she didn't even want Merle and me. If he did that to his fucking wife and sons..." Daryl takes a deep breath, and Paul swallows thickly. "Who fucking knows what he would have done to his little daughter."

Paul keeps his eyes on Daryl's face, not being able to take seeing the matching scars on the front of Daryl's torso. "Daryl, honey," The pet name slips from his lips before he can stop it, and Daryl's eyes flicker up to him from where he's staring at the floor with wet eyes. _Sweet like honey_ Paul thinks.

Daryl watches as Paul steps closer slowly, and Paul sees his legs twitching like he's ready to run at any moment. Paul wants him to know he doesn't have to.

Paul stops just in front of him and doesn't say anything, waiting to see if Daryl has anything else he wants to get out. Daryl instead, just looks at Paul for several moments before sighing heavily and wiping at his eyes and cheeks. "I'm sorry for..." He mumbles, not finding the right words so instead just motioning at himself with his arms and wiping his eyes again.

Paul shakes his head and makes the final step, not at all minding that Daryl had had an outburst. Bottling up emotions isn't healthy, Paul learned that one the hard way a long time ago.

"Don't be sorry. I love that you trust me enough to tell me this." He says softly as he cups Daryl's face in his hands, pulling him down quickly to kiss his forehead, lingering a while. He's taken by surprise when Daryl tilts his head to place his lips on Paul's softly, surprisingly, they don't kiss as much as Paul hoped they would, but of course, he'll give and take what Daryl is comfortable with. When they have kissed, not once has Daryl initiated it himself, the man is too shy or uncomfortable.

Paul presses his lips back against Daryl's firmer and can't help smiling a bit when Daryl decides to be brave and grasp Paul by his hips and tug him a little closer, he even parts his lips slightly and allows Paul to slip his tongue inside, something that happens on extremely rare occasions. Paul's heart surges with a fondness for the other man, and he strokes his cheekbones. After another glorious minute of making out, Paul feels Daryl begin to tense, so he pulls away, respecting Daryl's boundaries.

He steps back, so they're not as close, and Daryl drops his hands from Paul's waist, grunting as he reaches behind him for his shirt that he dropped on the table.

"I'm gonna go to sleep now, I think," Daryl says awkwardly as he pulls the sweater back over his body.

Paul smiles softly and nods, once he has the sweater on, Paul's steps closer to him again and cups his jaw to press his lips against his cheek. "Goodnight," And really, he should leave it at that, but there's that little thought in his head that he rolls his eyes at but ultimately gives in to as he rests his nose against Daryl's skin. "Mmh, can I keep calling you 'honey'?"

He's relieved when Daryl huffs a laugh and then playfully ducks away from him, he sits down on the couch and fails at hiding the small smile on his lips. "As long as nobody else hears it." He eventually mumbles.

Paul smiles wide and makes his way over to his own bed, tucking himself under the covers and rolling his eyes as he watches Ash curl up at Daryl's feet.

Paul's always been the guy that referred to his partners by pet names, and it appears it won't be any different with Daryl. He's happy starting with just 'honey,' but he's sure he won't be able to control himself and will give into his old habits, and he has a feeling Daryl will be just fine with that.

"Goodnight, honey." Paul can't help himself from saying once Daryl has turned the lamp on his nightstand and stopped shifting around.

He smirks when he hears Daryl snort softly. "G'night, asshole."

Paul scoffs, "You get 'honey,' and I get 'asshole'? This does not seem fair." He jokes.

Daryl laughs softly. "Go to sleep." He groans and Paul chuckles, but decides not to say anything else.

He closes his eyes and tries to keep the thoughts of the walker baby and Daryl's horrid childhood out of his mind as he attempts to fall asleep.


	20. Chapter 20

Paul ignores the slight twinge in his gut as he adjusts the girth on Echo's saddle, he knows there are eyes on him. The eyes of those only ones in the community that know the plan, Maggie, Eduardo, Carl, Enid and Daryl, Hershel Jr is of course also in Enid's arms, but at two weeks old he obviously doesn't have the brain capacity to understand what's happening.

Daryl's on the other side of Echo doing the last checks on Echo's saddle bags.

Sighing, Paul finds himself finished and ready to go. He strokes his gloved hand down Echo's neck and smiles softly when the horse turns his head to nuzzle at Paul's stomach. Paul knows that this is just dangerous for him, that he could get hurt.

Finally, Paul manages to turn around and finds Carl standing close to him, and within seconds the kid is moving forward and wrapping his arms around Paul's middle.

Paul sighs and holds Carl around his shoulders, using one hand to stroke his long hair. He knows that the kid is going to miss him, and Paul's going to miss him just as much.

"It's okay. It won't be too long until I'm back." Paul tells him softly.

When he pulls back, Paul smiles at him and cups his cheek for a moment. He realises he doesn’t need to look down at him that much anymore.

“Be safe,” Carl mumbles and shrinks back to Enid, who smiles at Paul and nods.

Paul goes to them next. He leans down and kisses both her cheek and then Hershel’s, the sleeping baby scrunching up his nose for a few seconds.

Aaron and Eric watch from the guard tower, arms around each other and they both nod their respect and good luck to him.

Eduardo hugs him quickly, patting his back and whispering for him to “Go kick some ass, Jesus.” And giving him a tight squeeze before he lets go of him.

Paul makes eye contact with Daryl as he does, finding the man looking incredibly sad and nervous. Paul hates to leave him, he really does.

He’s broken from his thoughts by Maggie stepping in front of him and smiling at him sadly, a hint of pride in her eyes. Paul smiles back and wraps his arms around her shoulders and pulls her to him. She presses her face to his neck and lays a kiss there; he returns it to her forehead.

“Look after yourself.” She whispers as her hands hold his waist. “Thank you for doing this, and I will never not be grateful for it, and you.”

“I’m doing this for myself as well. Remember that if something goes wrong, this was my decision.”

She nods, but Paul knows her. He knows she would never see it as anything but her fault. Paul’s determined that nothing will.

They have a few more moments before he pulls away from her and steps over to Daryl instead, Daryl falls into him and holds Paul tightly around his back. Paul sighs as he inhales the scent of Daryl's hair and strokes his shoulders.

The small group that's gathered to say goodbye is aware that the two of them are together, so neither of them hesitates to press their lips together warmly. They kiss for several long moments, and Paul savors it thoroughly, and it pains him to have to pull back.

He looks into Daryl's eyes as he moves his hands to stroke his cheekbones with his thumbs. "I'll see you soon, honey." Paul whispers so nobody can hear him call Daryl by his petname. He tilts Daryl's head down so he can kiss his forehead.

Daryl nods. "See you, be safe." He murmurs, sounding like he's just seconds away from sobbing.

Paul smiles at him, and then steps back, his body dragging away from Daryl's painfully.

He mounts Echo because he can't handle looking at Daryl any longer and after a few more quick goodbyes, Paul moves Echo into a trot and begins making his way from The Hilltop.

* * *

It took him three hours to get to Alexandria, and both he and Echo were sweating by the end of it. Paul stopped at the West Alexandria wall and rode Echo about one hundred meters away from the wall where a creek is; he'll untack Echo and leave him there while he goes to get the deed done.

The grass around the creek is luscious, and Paul knows that Echo won't stray from it. He scans the surrounding area for walkers and is relieved when he doesn't find any, but he still untacks Echo in case one appears while he's gone and Echo needs to get away.

Paul strokes Echo's black coat, some of the remainder of his winter coat coming off on his hand and then blowing away in the breeze. The horse nickers softly and sniffs at Paul's belly in the hope of finding a treat, and when he doesn't, he lowers his head and begins grazing.

Paul chuckles and pats his rump as he passes him. "Be safe, buddy."

He decided to walk to the wall instead of run; he'd need all his energy afterward to run back to Echo and then ride at a fast pace to the cabin.

He reached the wall after a few minutes. He checked his gun and applied the silencer, people hearing the gunshot isn't the problem, it never was, the problem is that Rick's shift is after Rosita's, and Paul only has a ten-minute window to get inside of the basement of the unused house that the cells are in, kill Negan, and then back out.

Rosita should already be gone from the basement by the time he gets there and instead in the house's bathroom, to cover both Paul and herself, her excuse of leaving the basement and going upstairs is a menstrual emergency, and they both have to hope that Rick will believe her. Rosita's a fantastic liar, so he more than likely will.

Once he's climbed the wall, Paul quickly sneaks behind a house, one that he believes is Rosita's and Tara's. He strains his ears and looks around, he can see father Gabriel across the road chatting to Anne, but Paul knows he'll be able to run across the small gap between Rosita and Tara's house and the cell house.

Once he has, he sneaks up the steps of the back porch and inside. He closes the door behind him once he's in and takes several moments to make sure he can't hear anything, he doesn't, but he can see the door to the bathroom is shut. A water bottle on the table beside the door, Rosita was using that as her signal for letting Paul know she's in the bathroom.

Paul needs to pass the bathroom to get to the stairs that lead to the basement, and as he passes, he knocks his knuckles against the door in a quiet pattern, his own signal to Rosita that he has arrived, and he'll do it again as he leaves.

Paul begins making his way down the stairs and into the dim light of the basement.

Morgan had made a total of four cells before he left, but Negan's is the only one occupied, his cell is the one furthest from the stairs.

Paul slowly approaches, and though he remains completely silent, Negan must sense he's there because he looks up from where he lays on his uncomfortable bed. Negan looks confused for a few seconds, but when Paul gets closer, he can see recognition come over Negan's face as he sees who Jesus is.

"Well," Negan begins, voice raspy and a smirk spreading over his face. "If it isn't Jesus, the one who snuck into my sanctuary, and stole my Daryl."

Paul's has to bite his tongue to stop himself from screaming at him right there. "Why'd you do it?" He asks.

"What's that, Jesus?" Negan asks. He's smiling to the point now where Paul wants to punch it right of his face, or blow it off.

"Why did you do what you did to Daryl?"

"Well... I had a lot of reasons: I wanted to, he deserved it, needed to be put in line. Most of all, I could see he wasn't a bitch, wanted him on my team, but no, the fucker was just too fucking stubborn. All he needed to say is that he was Negan, and I asked, he had just been beaten black and fucking blue, but that little brat still said he was Daryl. Guess he turned out to be a bitch after all." Negan explains with a chuckle, leaning forward in a way that he's trying to intimidate Paul, and Paul wants to laugh at the sad attempt.

Paul decides that he wants to show Negan just what his intentions are, he wraps his hand around his gun and pulls it from his belt, making sure Negan can see and hear him remove the safety of his gun.

Negan looks down at the gun, and Paul watches as a flash of fear comes over his face for just a second, but he quickly composes himself again.

"You see Negan, everything you just said is wrong. You say that Daryl deserved what you gave him, you couldn't be more wrong, that man has not deserved a single bit of pain that's been given to him. You did what you did to him, and others was nothing but a display of how fucking evil you are. Rick and Michonne may think you should live, but they're wrong. So, I'm here to kill you."

Negan is quiet for several moments before he finally sighs heavily. "Well, I have to say, Jesus, I did not see this coming. When the world went and fucked itself, I figured the new one was made just for me."

Paul checks his watch and realises he only has a few minutes left, and he can't see this conversation anywhere further, so he lifts his gun and takes aim at Negan.

"Get off the bed, and fucking kneel." He says from behind his teeth, and he can feel the anger traveling through his body, his jaw harshly clenched and the rest of him tense.

"Man," Negan says with a heavy sigh, somehow seeming to accept his fate as he stands from the bed after almost a minute. "You really are getting something out of this, aren't you?"

"No, I just feel no sympathy for you, because I know you deserve it," Paul replies, and he finds watching Negan get his knees incredibly satisfying. "Fucking rot in hell," Paul growls at him and then pulls the trigger, he doesn't give Negan a chance to say his last words, he doesn't deserve to have them.

Paul lowers the gun as he watches Negan fall backward onto the concrete, blood pours out from where Paul had shot him through his right eye, and it stains the concrete.

Paul looks at him for a few more moments, and Paul feels satisfied and proud that he finally gave Daryl, Maggie, Carl, Sasha, Abraham, and so many others the justice they deserved.

Paul tucks his gun back into his belt and then spins on his heels to the stairs. He makes his way up them, knocking on the bathroom door as he passes to let Rosita know he's done and leaving. Paul hurries out of the house and back over the wall. Once he's on flat ground again, he breaks into a sprint to reach Echo.

He finds Echo right where he left him, and the horse spins around to face him when he hears him. Paul smiles at the sight of him and quickly strokes down his nose before reaching for his saddle that he had slung over a log, and he lowers it and the saddle blanket onto Echo's back.

He gets Echo tacked up in record time and mounts him, within in a minute, the two of them are traveling through the woods as fast as they can, and Paul feels entirely at peace.

* * *

It's around eleven am when Paul reaches the cabin, he steps hops off right at the safety boundary that he and Daryl had made a few days previous and he steps up to the spot where they made it gate-like. He opens it and leads Echo through it, the black gelding not even spooking at the noises of the tin objects hitting each other.

Paul leads Echo inside the small pen and ties him to the fence by the trough he and Daryl had also filled up when they were here, and Echo immediately dips his mouth into it and begins to drink.

"Good boy," Paul praises him as he strokes his neck. "I couldn't have done that without you, Echo."

Paul removes his saddle and makes his way back out of the pen to put the saddle inside of the cabin and grab his bucket filled with grooming supplies and halter. Once he has it, he walks back to Echo to reward him for his excellent work.

* * *

It's nine pm, and he's eating his squirrel dinner when the radio on the table beside him finally crackles to life. Paul wasn't meant to radio The Hilltop himself; he had to wait for Daryl to radio him.

"Paul? Come in Paul." Daryl's voice filters through the radio and into the room, and Paul reaches for the radio.

"Hey, honey." Paul greets him, softly smiling because he can imagine the blush on the other man's cheeks.

He hears Daryl sigh heavily, and Paul wishes he could reach through the radio and wrap his arms around Daryl and hold him.

"Are you alright? Make it back okay?"

"Both me and Echo are fine, both pretty exhausted though. I think I'll be heading to sleep soon. Have Rick and Michonne shown up? Did Rosita get found out?" Paul replies, rubbing his heavy eyes and placing another mouthful of squirrel meat into his mouth.

"That's good, Paul. I've been worried 'bout you. Yeah, they came, and they ain't happy, Rick sent some people out into the woods looking for you, but they came back after a few hours with no sign of you. So, you're safe. Rick's just angry, not happy that we went behind his back. Michonne ain't either, but she's being more reasonable about it, she's hearing us out. Rick'll need some more time though."

Paul nods in understanding, he knew this would be the reaction they got, or something similar at least. He knows that Rick will come around eventually.

"What about Rosita?" Paul asks, really hoping that she hadn't gotten in trouble.

"She's good, they believed that she knew nothing was happening, but she's sticking up for us like she said she would. We've got more people agreeing with us than disagreeing. It'll be okay; you've jus' gotta stay away for a while."

Paul sighs in relief and rubs at his heavy eyes. "Thank fuck. I didn't want her to have to face any consequences."

"Tara didn't believe her though, heard the two of them talking, Rosita had to tell Tara what really happened. Tara was pissed off that Rosita kept it from her, but she isn't gonna tell Rick or Michonne anything."

"Alright. Anything else you need to fill me in on?" Paul asks.

"Nah, get some sleep, Paul," Daryl replies softly.

Paul hums. "Okay, goodnight, honey."

"G'night, stay safe," Daryl replies, and then his radio cuts off.

Paul sighs and places the radio down on the table again. He decides to quickly finish off his dinner before he does as Daryl says and tucks himself into bed and try and get some rest, he can already feel a headache thumping behind his eyebrows.


	21. Chapter 21

Paul's sitting in a tree and munching on an apple. He and Echo had walked half a mile or so away from the cabin, Paul riding the gelding bare-back, they're in another clearing in the woods, Paul brings Echo here at least once a day for a few hours to be able to graze in a different area to his pen.

After dismounting Echo, Paul climbed up a nearby tree so he could see all around the area to make sure no walkers would approach the horse.

Taking a large bite of his apple, Paul sighs and checks the time on his watch, two pm it reads. It's been two weeks since he had killed Negan, two weeks since he had seen any of his friends or his lovely boyfriend.

He and Daryl don't talk much over the radios, they can't spare the batteries just for them to be chatting because they miss each other. Paul is only to contact The Hilltop, and The Hilltop to only contact him in the case of an emergency.

Paul's surprised at how lonely he feels, he remembers back in Maggie's office when they had first made the plan for Paul to kill Negan, how he had said that he could use some time to himself. And he had continued to think that would be true right up until the day he had to leave The Hilltop.

He misses the shy kisses between him and Daryl, the late nights playing cards with him and Aaron and Eric, chatting with Maggie in the gardens while Hershel gurgles in his stroller from nearby, he misses talking to Carl and going riding with the boy. He realises he misses his home, that since having met Maggie and the others he had acquired a home, not necessarily at The Hilltop but with the people there.

He jumps slightly when his radio crackles from where it's attached to his belt.

"Paul? Can you talk?"

Daryl's slightly distorted voice fills the peaceful and quiet forest, and Paul can't help the smile that slips over his lips as he reaches for the radio. It's been five days since Paul had spoken to him, the last time only being a short conversation of Daryl merely checking up on him.

"Hey, Daryl, honey." Paul greets him, already feeling more relaxed. "Is everything okay?"

He can hear Daryl sigh heavily. "Yeah, all good, you?"

"I'm just fine, a little lonely I do have to admit." He confides in the other man, running a hand through his hair and tossing his apple core to the ground beneath him.

"Don't gotta wait much longer. I jus' left Hilltop, on my way to come and see you. I'll see you in a few hours." The man tells him, and Paul can catch the tone of excitement in his voice.

* * *

Around four hours later, Paul's smiling widely from where he's leaning against the fence of Echo's pen, he can hear the sloshing of Daryl and Kimber crossing the river, and seconds later he can see them coming up the small hill that leads to the clearing.

Echo perks up from beside Paul and whinnies loudly at the sight of his buddy that he hasn't seen in weeks, and Kimber whinnies right back. Kimber breaks into a trot towards them without Daryl's permission, but Daryl brings him back to stop and dismounts him. Daryl leads him over to Paul, and as soon as they're close enough to one another, Paul's arms wrap around Daryl's shoulders, and he pulls him to him, kissing his head as Daryl's own arms wind around Paul's waist and he rests his head heavily on his shoulder.

Paul can hear the nickering of the horses greeting each other over the fence, and it just makes Paul smile wider.

Paul finally manages to make himself pull back enough to look at Daryl, and he finds the man with watering eyes. "Hey," Paul whispers and cups his cheek, stroking his thumb over his sharp cheekbone. "Are you alright?" He asks softly.

Daryl nods in reply and sighs heavily as he knocks his and Paul's foreheads together. "I've just missed you, good seeing that you're okay."

Paul hums in agreement. "I get that," he says softly before leaning up and kissing Daryl softly, and he could almost sob with how much he's missed it, instead, he deepens the kiss and pulls Daryl closer and into another hug. "Let's go inside, yeah? Have some lunch." Paul offers.

"Give me a sec," Daryl says as he steps back.

Paul helps him untack Kimber and then make sure they're both secure in the pen before he takes Daryl's hand and they both stroll into the cabin.

Paul closes the door behind them and then steps over to the kitchen area as Daryl places his pack down on the table and he pulls his boots off.

Paul sorts them a lunch of squirrel and some vegetables that he had roasted the previous night before he joins Daryl at the table.

"So," He begins as he twirls his fork in his fingers, watching Daryl finish his own food. "How are things going? Rick and Michonne loosened up at all?" He asks as he finally pops a chunk of squirrel into his mouth.

Daryl sighs a little and pushes some hair back from his eyes. "They left The Hilltop about a week ago, Michonne said that they needed some time to themselves to discuss and think, Rick said he wanted to get his head together. He was feeling pretty guilty at that point, I told him what Negan did to me." He tells Paul, avoiding his eyes as he eats.

Paul watches him and nods thoughtfully. "Okay, they seem to be coming around. Do you think I'm in the clear to come home?" He asks, trying not to be worried that Daryl hadn't felt he could tell Paul what Negan did to him. Paul knows it was terrible, he was at the Sanctuary with Daryl, he saw how scared he was.

"No. Not necessarily because of Rick and Michonne, but The Saviors have now gotten word of what you did, and those that still believed in Negan have packed up their guns and are on the search for you. We ain't found them yet, but Laura told us they had gone and that there's at least ten of them."

Paul sighs and rests his head down on his arms on the table. After a few moments he can hear the squeak of Daryl scooting his chair closer to him, and then there's a warm hand on his back over his coat. "I didn't think I'd miss being home so much," He says as he lifts his head to look at Daryl, and the man smiles sadly at him before leaning forward and kissing him gently.

Paul hums against the man's mouth before Daryl pulls back. "Maggie gave me a photo of Hershel to show you. Want to see?" He asks Paul cautiously like he's unsure whether the question will cheer Paul up or make him feel worse.

Paul quickly nods, and he watches as Daryl stands up and walks over to his pack and squats down as he rummages through it. He returns to Paul after a few moments and holds out a small polaroid to him. Paul immediately smiles when he looks at it. The one-month-old baby is wide awake and half wrapped in a blue blanket as he appears to be kicking his legs.

"He's so sweet," Paul says softly as he strokes his thumb over the photo, wishing he could be seeing the baby himself.

"Got to watch him the other night, Maggie had a headache and just wanted to be able to sleep through the night, so I took him. He fell asleep on my chest just like Judy used to do when she was a bub." Daryl tells him, and Paul smiles at him as he talks and then carefully hands the photo back to him.

They finish their lunch in silence after that, Paul deep in thought as he watches his boyfriend eat his meal and rotating between smiling sweetly at Paul, looking at the photo of Hershel, and watching the horses through the small window.

"Daryl?" Paul finally says softly.

Daryl hums and glances up at him. "What's up?" He asks.

Paul watches him for a moment before he speaks. "I want you to know that you can talk to me about Negan, you mean so much to me, and if talking about what happened would help, then I want you to, okay?" He finally says softly.

Daryl looks at him for several moments before he finally nods, looking at Paul with shiny eyes. "Can I stay here tonight?" He whispers finally and seems relieved when Paul immediately nods.

* * *

Later in the night, both Paul and Daryl are comfortably in the bed together. Paul's on his back with Daryl's body thrown over his and the man using Paul's chest as a pillow while Paul holds him. Daryl's fast asleep with tear stains still down his cheeks, and Paul holding him tightly and wishing he could take away all the pain he had ever suffered.

Daryl had told what Negan had done, and Paul's so glad that Negan is now dead and that Daryl never has to worry about him again.

Paul sighs heavily and squeezes his eyes closed as he kisses the top of Daryl's head before he tries to fall asleep himself.

* * *

The morning was a pleasant one, the sun warm but not too hot and the woods were busy with animals and insects around them as Daryl and Paul said their goodbyes to each other.

Daryl needed to go back to The Hilltop and help look for the missing and rogue Saviors, and that meant Paul was being left alone again.

Paul tries his hardest not to show how much it disappoints him that he's leaving as Daryl finishes up tacking Kimber, turning to Paul once he has.

"You stay safe out here?" Daryl says softly as allows Paul to pull him close by his waist.

"Yeah. You stay safe back there?" Paul replies as he holds Daryl close and inhales his scent.

"Yeah," Daryl answers quietly and presses his lips against Paul's neck before Paul's hand is on his jaw and pulling him into a proper kiss.

The kiss lasts for almost a minute before they finally break free of each other, and Daryl lets Paul stroke his hair back from his face before he turns and mounts Kimber.

They both wave and Paul smiles sadly as he watches Daryl trot out of sight to the river he needed to cross.

Paul sighs once he's out of sight and rubs a hand over his face as he tries his best to ignore the sting in his eyes. He calls himself ridiculous that he shouldn't care this much, that he should be able to last a few weeks without seeing Daryl and not want to cry whenever he thinks of him. The churn in his gut as he can hear Daryl leave, but not see him anymore, is another thing he finds ridiculous.

What he finds the most ridiculous, is that he realises he's in love with Daryl after only being together for two and a half months and that the realisation terrifies him but comforts him at the same time, and he doesn't know what to do with himself.

But he does know, that he wishes Daryl would come back to him.


	22. Chapter 22

A month, after an entire month, Paul is seeing the front gates of The Hilltop. His body rocks in a steady rhythm to match Echo's lazy stride beneath him. His pack is heavy and has caused a dull ache in his lower back. He's just fifty meters from the gate. Fifty meters from his love, from his friends. From his home.

The gates massive wooden gates begin to open, and Kal happily waves at him from his spot atop the guard tower. Paul finally reaches the gate and walks Echo through, dismounting him as the gates begin to close behind him again.

There are members of the communities turning to face him, he knows that some of them are whispering. He pays them no mind, he instead takes his time to stroke Echo's neck, thanking him for what he's done the past month, keeping him company and sane.

Finally glancing up, he can see Carl running towards him at a full sprint, Michonne and Rick approaching more slowly behind him with curious expressions towards their son.

"Jesus!" Carl exclaims excitedly once he's a few meters away.

Paul can't help the broad smile on his lips as he holds his arms out just in time to catch the teenager that collides into his chest. Carl's growing and is close to Paul's height now, and he rests his head on his shoulder as he squeezes him around his shoulders. Paul strokes the boy's back and hair as he rocks them slightly.

"Hey, kid." Paul greets him softly, feeling the boy's greasy strands beneath his hands and he can't help but breath in the scent of him. Paul sighs because fuck, he had missed him.

More footsteps are approaching, and Paul looks up to find Rick and Michonne standing a few meters away, but his eyes catch on the man walking towards him from the stables, only briefly, as he then moves to Maggie who's smiling widely with teary eyes.

Paul gently encourages Carl to unlatch from him and makes his way to Maggie, and the two of them fall into each other. She's holding him so tightly it almost hurts, and Paul presses kisses against her cheek and forehead.

Maggie's the one to pull back, and Paul doesn't want to let her go just yet, but he sees Maggie smile at someone to the left on them, and he looks over to see that Daryl has arrived and stood to watch them anxiously. He can see an auburn-haired man out of the corner of his eye as he steps to Daryl and guesses that Aaron and Eric have joined the little group of people that have gathered around by the gate.

The tiny upturn of Daryl's lips along with the small nod he gives Paul as he holds his hand out just slightly is all Paul needs. He steps to Daryl and grasps his hand in his own and gently holds Daryl's chin with his other hand's fingers as he closes his eyes and presses his lips to Daryl's. Paul kisses him softly and briefly before he moves back, the two of them smile softly, and Paul feels so peaceful as Daryl smiles at him again.

The two of them turn then to face the others. There's more gossiping from the community members, those who already knew just appear as happy as Paul feels. Paul realises that Daryl is nervous, his hand sweaty and trembling in Paul's. Paul looks to where Daryl is and finds Rick and Michonne, Michonne watches them with a look of knowing on her face, while Rick seems shocked.

Paul squeezes Daryl's hand comfortingly, and Michonne is finally the one to talk.

"We have a lot to talk about, Jesus." She says, a tiny hint of a smile on her face as she looks between him and Daryl.

Paul nods. "We do," He says and looks over to Echo who had been standing nearby patiently. "Carl, you look after him?" He asks and gestures towards the horse, and Carl immediately nods and steps over to the horse.

Paul meets Daryl's eyes and smiles softly at him before beginning to walk towards their trailer. He motions for Rick and Michonne to follow him with his free hand, and he sees that Maggie decides to do the same.

* * *

Paul sighs softly and looks down at the bundle in his arms. Hershel's sleeping peacefully, one hand gripped around Paul's finger. He's grown a lot in the past month, and Paul's sad that he's missed it, he has no fear about holding the baby anymore. He even had a little cry about it to Maggie while Daryl had gone to get the three of them lunch. Maggie had tried to reassure him that Hershel hasn't done much but sleep, eat and cry, but it didn't help much.

Paul, Daryl, Maggie, Rick, and Michonne had talked for a long time inside his and Daryl's trailer. It was established that Paul reasoning for killing Negan had finally been understood by Michonne and Rick and that he would not be punished further than the month he had already had to spend away in the cabin, Paul considered that punishment because he was miserable the entire time. Rick and Michonne had also made it very clear that a joint council between the communities was going to be established, each community would have representatives including their leader and whoever they had chosen. The council would come to important decisions about the community together. Maggie was the one who told Paul they were going to be creating new laws, and once they were all established, meetings at each community would be held for all residents, and they would be informed of the new laws and how things are going to work. What punishments for disobeying laws will be.

It relieves Paul, this is what he knows will help the communities to grow and function better.

Now, Rick and Michonne have left and gone somewhere else in the community to have some time to themselves Paul guesses.

Paul had been left alone for a few minutes as Maggie had gone to collect Hershel so Paul could see him, and Daryl had gone to receive lunch for the lot of them. But then Carl had shown up and sat by Paul. He's outside now, Daryl had built a little picnic table outside their trailer at some point while he had been away and Paul wants to test it out.

"What was it like? Being out in the woods by yourself?" Carl finally asks, Maggie is back now and sitting beside Paul on the seat, and Carl is opposite him.

Paul rocks the baby in his arms as he looks up at the teen. "Not fun, I hated every second of it, apart from when Daryl was visiting me," Paul answers him. Hershel squirms in his arms and Paul fears that he's woken the baby up, and he sighs in relief when he doesn't.

Carl nods, seeming to understand his answer, but Paul frowns slightly when the boy continues to look at him.

"Do you love Daryl?" He finally asks, voice curious as he keeps his eyes locked with Paul's.

Paul's gut swirls slightly at the question, and he awkwardly clears his throat before he answers. "Yes. Why do you ask?" He says and then licks his lips nervously, and he can see Maggie watching him from the corner of his eye.

Carl shrugs and plays with the bottle of water in his hands. "No reason really," He says. "Just, he's good for you, and you're good for him."

Paul blinks at him several times, taking the boy's words in and he realises that he's right.

Suddenly feeling awkward, Paul shifts and carefully places Hershel back in Maggie's arms. Once he has, he takes to stroking Ash instead, the cat is spread out on top of the wooden table and quickly begins to purr once Paul has started stroking him.

Nobody says anything after that until Daryl has returned with their lunch.

* * *

It's hours later and late at night when Paul and Daryl finally get to be alone.

Paul's just finished up in the shower and has turned the water off as he begins to dry himself with a towel when he can hear the soft voices coming from the main area of the trailer.

Knowing that he shouldn't, Paul stepped closer to the bathroom door and began to listen in to Rick and Daryl's voice.

"You know you're my brother, and I love you. He is family too, and I support you two bein' together." Paul feels his lips upturn at Rick's words.

"Love you too." Is Daryl's only reply and Paul can hear patting noises that he guesses is the two of them hugging before the trailer door open and closes.

Paul waits a few moments before he opens the bathroom door and steps out. Daryl looks up at him from where he sits on the couch, Ash purring beside him.

"Hi," Paul greets softly as he steps over to him.

"You hear that?" Daryl asks him as Paul places his hands on his cheeks.

"Just the last bit," He replies and then leans down to kiss him softly.

Daryl sighs and then proceeds to stand up, wrapping his arms around Paul's lower back and sighing as he rests his head on Paul's shoulder and kissing the bare skin. "Missed bein' like that with him, feels back to normal, you know?" Daryl tells him, fingers cautiously brushing over Paul's skin, and it makes him smile happily at Daryl's shyness.

"I understand what you mean," Paul replies, playing with hair. "Let's get in bed, yeah? You want to share with me again?" Paul finally asks, pushing on Daryl's hips so the man has to move back and Paul can meet his eyes.

Daryl smiles shyly and nods. "Don't think I wanna sleep on that couch again. Let Ash claim the couch." He says.

Paul chuckles and leads Daryl over to the bed. "Sounds good to me," He says and pulls back the covers on his bed, he crawls in carefully, so he's against the wall and patiently waits as Daryl settles down beside him.

They both lay on their backs pressed together for a few minutes before Paul is the one to shift finally. He props himself up on an elbow and looks down at the man beneath him. Daryl looks right back at him with slightly sleepy blue eyes, and he smiles softly when Paul begins to play with his hair, Paul grins when he leans into the touch.

Daryl sighs and speaks finally, licking his lips. "Missed you like a damn teenager."

Paul laughs softly and can't help himself from leaning down and kissing both of the man's cheeks. "I missed you too, more than I thought I would and I don't want to be away from you like that again. It didn't feel right," Paul confesses to the other man, and he can feel the heat of a flush on his cheeks.

Daryl smiles up at him, broad and sweet, and so beautiful that Paul almost can't stand it. "Then let's not be, let's be fucking selfish for once in our lives and just spend some damn time together. Fuck what anyone else wants from us for now."

Paul laughs and moves down lower, so he has better access to Daryl's mouth, and he kisses him again, deeper and more passionate, and he pulls a tiny moan from Daryl. "What you just said, is the best thing I've heard in years."

Daryl huffs a laugh and pulls Paul down to kiss Paul's cheek, the confidence takes Paul by surprise, but he doesn't complain. "Sap," He chuckles as Daryl kisses over his cheek and over his bearded jaw before his lips are resting in the juncture of Paul's neck. The man's hot breath against his skin has Paul licking his lips.

Daryl just breaths against him for a while before Paul feels him kiss his skin again, and there's several moments silence before Daryl speaks. "Think I love you," He whispers, moving closer so he can bury his face more into Paul as one of his hands shyly rests on Paul's hip. "Know I love you."

Paul's throat tightens at Daryl's words, and he swallows it back along with blinking back the tears in his eyes. He sighs deeply and replays Daryl's voice saying the words in his head, for a long time, Paul had never expected to hear those words from anyone. And now, hearing Daryl say them, is one of best things Paul has ever heard.

"I love you," He whispers back, a slight crack in his voice. They're both silent for several moments, but Paul can feel Daryl smiling against his neck, Paul shifts back, so he's able to kiss Daryl. He cups the man's face with his hand and presses their lips together firmly.

Daryl moans first, and Paul moves to lay over Daryl before breaking the kiss. Paul looks down at Daryl and nibbles at his lip as he does, Daryl's looking up at him curiously, and he's panting softly.

They meet again in sync, and Paul crawling between Daryl's legs is met with the encouragement of the other man's hands on his hips. Paul groans softly against Daryl's mouth as he can feel his cock begin to swell in his sweats, and he knows Daryl can feel it too as his crotch is pressed half against Daryl's balls and ass. That thought alone sends excitement through Paul, and he licks into Daryl's mouth.

Daryl shifts beneath him, and the movement causes his cock to brush against Paul's arm that was holding Daryl's thigh, and it pulls a moan from the older man.

Paul makes himself tear away from Daryl's lips and looks down at the man beneath him. They both pant softly as they look into each other's eyes. "What do you want, honey?" Paul finally asks quietly as he strokes Daryl's cheekbone, loving the red flush he sees there.

Daryl looks at him for several moments before one of his hands finds its way into Paul's hair, and he begins to play with the strands. "You," He finally says, his accent heavy voice filling their quiet trailer. "Everything you wanna give me,"

Paul takes a shaky breath, and he knows that there's so much more behind the words than sex and Paul swears he could cry. "You can have whatever you want," Paul whispers as he leans down, and he kisses the man again for a long time.

They could have been kissing for hours for all Paul knows, drowning in each other and not thinking about anything but each other.

Paul pulls away again and rubs his hands down Daryl's sides as he tilts his head upwards to kiss the man's forehead. "I have lube and condoms in the nightstand if you want to go that far. We don't have to, it's up to you," Paul tells the man beneath him, moving his lips along his forehead to his temple.

Daryl replies by shifting underneath Paul and rolling onto his side to be able to pull the nightstand drawer, Paul smiles and continues to caress the man's skin as he searches through the drawer. Once Daryl has the bottle of lube and a condom, he settles onto his back again and looks up at Paul shyly as he hands the items to him.

"You sure?" Paul asks, setting the items down and tucking his fingers into the waistband of Daryl's sweats.

Daryl nods quickly and takes a deep breath before reaching for the hem of his shirt and awkwardly holding himself up for a few moments to pull it over his head and then toss it somewhere over Paul's head. "Yeah, come on."

Paul smiles and takes several moments to appreciate what he can of Daryl's torso. A soft but perfect tummy, nice pecs, several tan lines around his shoulders and neck, scars that represent so much pain and still bring Paul anger whenever he sees them. His eyes linger on the man's hard nipples, and he thinks about sucking them as he slowly begins pulling Dary's sweats down his legs, finding that the man hadn't worn boxers.

Paul groans softly at Daryl's bottom half, thick, pale thighs, dark hair on his calves that fines on his thighs, a tiny snake tattoo on one of his calves and Paul can't help but wonder about its purpose.

Paul finds Daryl's cock almost entirely hard, and he massages Daryl's thighs as he examines it. It's a red-ish pink in colour and laying against his hip. His cock is cut and is average in length, which is actually what Paul prefers on the rare occasions he's on the bottom, it's a little thicker than average size. Paul thinks it's damn perfect, and he takes a moment to stand up off the bed and pull off all of his own clothes except his boxers before he crawls on Daryl again and kisses him as he takes his cock in his hand.  
They continue like that for several minutes, kissing and caressing each other as Daryl moans against Paul's mouth and grinds into the touch of his hand. Daryl's leaking pre-come now, and every sound the man is making due to the pleasure he's receiving, goes straight to Paul's cock.

Daryl groans when Paul removes his lips and hand from him but watches with curious eyes as Paul sits up and opens the bottle of lube and squirts some onto two fingers. "You sure?" He asks again, stroking the man's solid calf muscle as he searches his face.

Daryl rolls his eyes and smiles up at Paul softly, his cheeks deeply flushed as he spreads his legs wider for Paul. "Don't gotta keep asking that,"

"I take consent very seriously," Paul replies. He always has, the idea of doing something to a man that they didn't want him to, or weren't comfortable with, makes him feel sick to his stomach. So, he had always been very clear with his sexual partners about that.

Daryl smiles up at him. "And I appreciate it, Paul. I'll let you know if I need you to stop."

"Okay," Paul whispers, and he just has to kiss him again before he moves his fingers a little closer to Daryl's lower region. "You ready for me to stretch you then?" He asks and smiles when he gets an eager nod.

Paul gently presses the first finger inside Daryl, and he watches as the man's lips part, and he closes his eyes as he gets used to the situation. Paul slowly begins to pump his single finger in and out, slick sounds making him lick his lips.

It's not too long before Paul places a second finger at Daryl's entrance, this time as he begins to push in, he takes Daryl's cock in his left hand and gently pumps his head as he eases his digits inside the man. Daryl is hot and velvety around his fingers, and Paul swears it could drive him insane with how badly he just wants to get inside of him.

Daryl moans lowly beneath him and squirms, and Paul finds it so beautiful. He's never had sex with someone he's been in love with, and it all feels different and so much better.

"Do you know what a prostate is?" Paul asks softly, not wanting to disturb the room's peaceful vibe. Daryl's a virgin and hasn't known he's gay for very long, so Paul's not entirely sure where the man's knowledge on gay sex stands.

Daryl blinks up at him for a few moments, lips parted as he pants softly. "Yeah, like a sweet spot," He murmurs before closing his eyes again, moving the hand from Paul's hair and down to hold his waist instead. The way Daryl words it, it probably the cutest thing Paul has ever heard in bed. "I um… talked to Aaron 'bout how it worked. Knew I wanted you and figured we go at it soon enough,"

Paul snorts softly at Daryl's phrasing this time. He's happy that Daryl has someone he can talk to about that stuff, Paul would be happy to be that person, but if Daryl has Aaron for it, then that's fine. "Okay, you want me to show you what it feels like?" He asks carefully, already moving his fingers, so they're dangerously close, but not close enough to reach just yet. But then Daryl nods, so Paul angles his fingers upwards and massages them against it.

"Oh fuck," Daryl says in a low whine, and he squirms again, holding Paul's waist hard enough that he's leaving indents from his fingernails.

Daryl's moan goes straight to Paul's cock, and he has to bite his lip.

He scissors the two of his fingers for several minutes, stretching the man open enough to be able to take a third one and then his cock.

Paul tells Daryl what he's going to do as he slips his fingers from him and adds more lube to all three, and he receives an enthusiastic nod in response, and then he slowly begins to press against Daryl's entrance, the muscle slowly being coaxed open.

Daryl scrunches up his face, and Paul feels a swirl of guilt in his stomach because he knows the man is probably a little uncomfortable as he gets used to the stretch.

Paul leans down over his body and kisses him again, and he continues to do so until Daryl feels stretched enough beneath him and the man is eagerly moaning into Paul's mouth and rocking on his fingers. Paul slips his fingers from him and very briefly stands up to pull his boxers off and lube himself up.

Daryl watches with eager and curious eyes as he does, his eyes locked on Paul's impressive length and Paul smirks when the man takes his own in hand and begins to slowly jerk himself in time with Paul spreading lube over himself once he's rolled the condom on.

He falls onto the bed again, this time he stays over Daryl, holding himself on an elbow as he reaches between their bodies' with his other hand and positions himself at Daryl's entrance.

"Please," Daryl whispers softly, blue eyes looking into Paul's own with blown wide pupils.

Paul applies pressure and slowly begins to slip past the man's hole. He shifts his head down and places his lips on Daryl's neck as he slowly begins to sink home. He kisses and sucks at the sweaty skin as Daryl lets out small noises and claws at Paul's back.

When Paul's finally fully sheathed, he moans, the sound muffled by Daryl's neck. Daryl's tight and hot, and he feels so good that Paul's sure it's going to drive him insane.

After several long moments, with Daryl's encouragement, Paul slowly begins to move. He props himself above Daryl again because he wants to see all the expressions he makes.

Paul sets a slow but smooth rhythm, dragging along Daryl's walls and moving against his prostate, every moment bringing the both of them intense pleasure.

Paul cups Daryl's face with one of his hands and leans down, he presses their lips together firmly, and they both moan into each other's mouth as Paul rocks into Daryl's body.

Their mouths barely separate the entire time, only with particularly loud moans.

Paul stops for just a moment to slide an arm under Daryl's thigh and lift his leg higher, giving Paul a new angle as he pushes into him again. Daryl seems pleased with the change and groans loudly and against Paul's collarbone before attempting to suck at it.

"I'm close," Daryl finally whines after what seems like forever, and Paul feels relieved because he's been trying to hold his own orgasm back. He hasn't had sex in months, and sex with Daryl is so much different and better.

Paul nods and kisses the man's cheeks. "Come on, come for me," Paul whispers and wraps his hand around Daryl's leaking cock, pumping it in time with his thrusts and Daryl cries Paul's name as Paul pull his orgasm from him. Daryl holds Paul tightly as he comes, and Paul feels him spurt over his hand and stomach.

With Daryl having come, Paul finally lets himself go and buries his face in Daryl's neck with a moan as he empties his release into the condom.

Paul keeps moving for a few moments to draw out all the possible pleasure from their orgasms, but he pulls out when they both get too sensitive, and he slips the condom from himself. Daryl relaxes beneath him as Paul knots the condom and tosses it into the bin.

Paul then settles down on the bed beside Daryl, and the older man doesn't hesitate to crawl into Paul's arms. Paul holds him happily and presses his lips against his temple.

"I love you," Paul's the one to say it first this time, and he feels Daryl smile against his peck.

"I love you," He whispers as he leans up and kisses Paul's bearded jaw before settling.

Daryl falls asleep not long after that, his breath had evened out a few minutes after the cat deemed it safe to jump up on the bed and curl around his feet.

Paul strokes Daryl's hair and thinks merely for what could be hours, before he too, drifts off into an incredibly peaceful sleep.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading, love you <3


End file.
